3 words 8 letters
by girl.with.the.amber.earring
Summary: Follow the lives of your favourite Upper East Side teenagers as they endeavour on their journeys after high school. Set after Season 2 of Gossip Girl. C/B, S/C/N
1. Chapter 1

Chuck tapped his pen impatiently on his desk as he awaited an important phone call. Checking his Rolex watch for the umpteenth time in the last 5 minutes, he decided that time had either slowed down considerably, or it had come to a complete stand still. His impatience was becoming unbearable, so he opened up a game of solitaire on his wide screened computer and played away the dying seconds. He played a total of 4 games, but only managed to properly complete 1...the other three had been going well until he had no moves left and had to reluctantly start a new game. His concentration had become unparallel, so when the phone rang suddenly, his heart skipped a beat. He immediately launched for the phone and tried to maintain his voice as he answered,  
"Yes?" He spoke, closing the game on his computer.  
"Mr Bass, you have a visitor." The secretary spoke coolly into the telephone.  
"Send them up, please." He replied, hanging up, his heart rate sped up a little above normal. He fidgeted with his tie and the buttons on his blazer before he stood up to open the door for his guest. He approached the door and opened it wide to welcome his visitor.  
"Hey sweetie." She spoke. The sight of her made his heart race even faster. He placed a careful hand on her slender waist and pulled her in for a loving embrace. She put her arms around his neck and pushed herself closer to his body. Her lips were soft like velvet and sweet like strawberries; her hair was long and beautiful and smelt like peaches. She was so perfect, so flawless; he was the luckiest guy on the planet.  
"Ok, let's leave the kinky stuff for when we get into your office." Blair Waldorf giggled breaking away, but leaving her hands around Chuck's neck.  
"Sounds good to me." And he led her in, closing the door behind them. Blair's heels clicked along the polished floorboards as she headed towards the sofa to free her hands of her handbag and three Barney's shopping bags.  
"So what is this marvellous surprise you have for me, Chuck Bass?" She smiled and he actually felt himself turn into goo. He maintained himself before he managed to make a fool of himself and replied, "Well, if I told you now, it would ruin the surprise, wouldn't it?" He replied, making sure he didn't give anything away.  
"You're going to whisk me away to the Bahamas? You know, I've always wanted to go there...and what with summer ending.."  
"No, it's not that." Chuck interrupted, suppressing a smile. Blair raised both eyebrows.  
"Ok then...hurry up and tell me because I'm getting awfully curious!" She replied, hardly able to contain her excitement. Chuck sighed and switched his computer off; grabbed his keys and coat and then waited for Blair's response.  
"What are you doing?" She asked, cocking her head to the side in confusion. Chuck actually laughed this time as he revelled in her cuteness and oblivion to the entire situation.  
"I'm taking you to your surprise." Blair beamed, grabbing her Chanel handbag and clicked her way back across the office to the front door; Chuck – taking in her beauty – eyed her the entire way.  
They travelled down the elevator, barely able to resist not touching each other; and then stepped out into the warm, summery afternoon. Chuck led Blair towards a parked limousine in front of the building, opening the back door for her like the perfect gentleman he was.

They arrived at the Tiffany & Co. Store on Fifth Avenue.  
"You're going to buy me some jewellery?" Blair asked excitedly, and Chuck just smiled, preferring not to say anything in case he let something slip. Chuck stepped out of the limo and offered Blair a hand; leading her inside the store. Blair was enthralled when she walked in – feeling the exact same therapeutic calmness that Audrey Hepburn felt in Breakfast at Tiffany's whenever she walked into the store. Chuck murmured something to the security guard by the front entrance, behind Blair's back; and he immediately nodded, mumbling something into his radio. There was soft jazz-like music playing in the background. Blair had wandered over to the diamond necklaces stand.  
"That ones amazing." She spoke in awe, staring into the million facets of the oval shaped diamond that glistened in the light. It was hanging off a platinum chain. There wasn't even a price tag.  
"It's ok, I guess." Chuck smirked, but Blair was too deep in admiration to care, let alone notice he said anything.  
A round, grey and balding man with rectangular shaped glasses approached them.  
"Good afternoon Miss. Is there anything in particular you are looking for?" He asked, the buttons on his blazer threatening to explode. Blair looked over at Chuck, who had brought her here for reasons yet unbeknownst to her; but she assumed it was to be another present – he loved showering her with expensive gifts.  
"Pick out anything you want." He smiled, and Blair mirrored his expression; giving him a soft kiss on the cheek in gratitude. Blair turned back around to look at the necklace, while the man glanced at Chuck. Chuck gave an approving nod and the man suggested that Blair looked at the rings; she had such beautiful and slender fingers – a Tiffany ring would look fabulous.  
"Ok." Blair smiled and followed the man to a glass case full of sparkling diamond rings. Chuck followed surreptitiously behind them. The man had suggested she look at the larger diamonds.  
"But they've got to be at least 10 grand!" She cried, looking back at Chuck who had reached her and stood beside her.  
"And I'm pretty sure they look like engagement rings." She added, but Chuck didn't say anything, and neither did the assistant. Blair looked from the man to Chuck; Chuck's eyes were filled with hope and vulnerability. The look on Blair's face was more confusion and disbelief.  
"You brought me here..." she began, but Chuck interrupted.  
"Blair, this summer has been perfect to say the least," Chuck began, and Blair was speechless. Chuck's brooding, dark eyes settled on her luscious, chocolate brown ones, which always seemed to make him go soft...as if he were melting on the spot. He extended an arm out to hers, and took her fragile, soft hand in his; rubbing her knuckles with his thumb.  
"I can honestly say that I've never been this happy before." Blair was still paralysed, but her heart remained very active.  
"I wouldn't trade what we shared these last few months for anything in the world."  
Oh, my God.  
Blair's heart was now palpitating; was Chuck being for real? Her jaw dropped slightly and she was unable to comprehend what he was saying. This was totally a dream.  
"Blair Cornelia Waldorf-Rose, will you make me the happiest man alive and honour me with your hand in marriage?" He asked just like she had imagined in all her dreams – in fact, she was now fully convinced this was just another one of them. The assistant seemed to be smiling at her eagerly, his button-like eyes filling with tears. Blair finally was able to swallow but was scared that she had also swallowed her ability to speak. She stared deep into his eyes – perhaps she could find a trace of doubt, a hint of a joke; or at least, she liked to think, she knew his eyes so well that she'd be able to decipher whether they were real or just her imagination. She looked down at her hand which shaking uncontrollably. Chuck Bass, Charles Bartholomew Bass was proposing to her! The womanizer, the boy who never fell in love; was officially pouring his heart out. She could imagine the headlines tomorrow morning, 'He's off the market, ladies.' 'Bass Industries heir gets engaged!' and the names! 'Bass-dorf, Waldass, Blair Waldorf-Rose-Bass, Blair Bass, BB' it had a ring to it; no pun intended. She loved it! But she figured Chuck needed his answer sooner rather than later, and so she smiled and replied,  
"Of course! YES!" Her eyes were gleaming and swimming in tears. Blair threw herself onto him, leaping into his arms. He caught her and spun her around. She had said yes! His dream would always end when he got down onto one knee; unbeknownst to her reply, making him increasingly doubtful to what Blair's answer would be when he actually had the chance to ask her. Everyone had been telling him that they were way too young – barely 18 and fresh out of high school; summer hadn't even ended yet. But that didn't matter, the way he felt right now was a feeling he did not want to lose. Why not seal the deal with Blair? There was no other girl he'd love as much as he loved Blair anyway. As far as he knew, he succeeded at life; practically fulfilling it before he even reached 21.  
"I love you Blair Waldorf." He said, still holding onto her tight and looking deep into her chocolate eyes. He could feel the pounding of her heart as her held onto her and he couldn't remember a time when things had just felt so perfect.  
"I love you Charles Bass." She replied and then placed a small hand on his cheek, bringing him in for a quick peck on the lips.  
She broke away and Chuck put her feet on the ground. He wiped her tears away and kissed her forehead.  
"Go on, pick one out." He said, gesturing to the case of engagement rings. Blair could not contain her joy. She analysed every single ring before settling on a cushion shaped Tiffany Legacy with Graduated Side Stones.  
"Very lovely choice." The man said, taking a small key out of his breast pocked and unlocking the tray. He pulled it; and with a gloved hand, he carefully handled the ring, placing it onto a smaller cushioned tray.  
"Would you like to put it on now?" He asked Chuck, who in turn glanced at Blair. Her eyes glistened with hope. Chuck smiled and nodded.  
"Yes." He took the ring and Blair held out her hand. Chuck gently took her hand and slid the ring on. It was a perfect fit. Blair was speechless again. The man clapped his hands in happiness and then attended to locking the glass case back up, while Chuck pulled Blair in for another passionate kiss. There was a brand new edge to way Chuck kissed her this time. Of course, they both knew that she was his and he was hers, but the proposal had made it official. Blair Waldorf was Chuck's fiancée, Charles Bass was Blair's. It was blissful.  
She didn't want to pull away and neither did he, but they were quite aware of their setting and audience, and that was the only thing keeping their hands of each other.  
"We'll need to celebrate later on tonight."Blair whispered and Chuck smiled menacingly. The man turned around, quite obviously waiting for them to finish for he had gone all red.  
"Charge it on the company." Chuck said, and the man simply nodded.  
"Of course Mr Bass; and congratulations Ms Waldorf!" He bade them good bye. Chuck led her back out the store, a steady and protective hand on her back. Everyone was to know that Blair Waldorf was no longer available. She was his; she was going to be Mrs Chuck Bass – and he couldn't be happier.

"So where did he end up taking you?!" Serena literally cried into the phone. Blair was holding the phone at arms length for fear of going deaf. Serena had taken the news just as well as Blair had; only unlike Blair, Serena couldn't quite mask her excitement as well.  
"Tiffany's! He told me to get anything I wanted! I don't even know if he knows what the price was." Blair replied, lovingly staring at her outstretched hand and the stunning diamond that now occupied her left ring finger.  
"Blair, as if that's ever stopped him before. Anyways, when's the engagement party? Please, oh, please let me organise it!" Serena cried again, and Blair had to lean away from the phone.  
"I don't know; tonight we're staying in. I'll have to talk to him about it."  
"Or rather, I do. He's just come in." Blair could hear the distant ring of the elevator arriving at the Van der Woodsen penthouse.  
"Talk to you later, alright? Love you!" Serena crooned and hung up. Blair fell back onto her bed and examined the ring again. She was too scared of taking it off for fear of losing it; but at the same time, she feared that by wearing it, she might ruin the beautiful diamonds. She would guard this ring with her life. It was a testament of their love for one another.

"Congratulations, man." Nathaniel Archibald held out an arm to Chuck Bass who shook it businesslike. But then Nate pulled him in for a man hug.  
"I still can't believe you're getting married though!" He added shaking his head in disbelief. Chuck and Nate were sitting on a park bench in Central Park; Chuck retelling the whole event from when Blair met him at his office, all the way to the ride home in the limo.  
"You didn't..."  
"No, we didn't. We're saving it for tonight." Chuck laughed, and Nate cringed.  
"Ok, I don't really want to hear all the details; but I can imagine." Chuck exhaled, basking in the warm sun, enjoying what last few days they had of summer.  
"So how was Europe, with uh, Vanessa?" Chuck asked Nate, reluctantly. He didn't much care for the Brooklyn girl – albeit a drunken encounter before summer that he had regretted the minute it had happened. But, apparently she meant something to Nate; and Chuck didn't want to seem too self-righteous about his recent engagement.  
Nate was silent for a bit but then replied.  
"It was ok; for the first week." He began and then stopped again to put his head into his hands.  
"What happened?" Chuck asked, intrigued.  
"Girls can be a pain in the ass when they want to be. She was still punishing me for Blair, when she was quite certain that we were done – I mean, Blair was with you. But you know how girls can be." Nate explained and Chuck just smirked.  
"So what, you guys went your own ways?"  
"Yeah. She went to Venice and I thought I'd check out a bit of London. The girls there are way too horny."  
"Not that you're complaining."  
"Of course not." And they laughed. It was a true, hearty laughter; and it felt so good to be able to joke around with his best friend, without the fear that they might get into another fight over Blair. But of course she was worth it; the problem was, they both knew it – and neither would back down. It damn near tore them apart for good the last time.

Later that evening, Blair was looking through her gigantic closet, desperately searching for a half-decent dress for tonight.  
"Dorota! Is mom working on anything new at the moment that I could borrow for tonight?" She asked which unintentionally managed to come out sounding like a whine rather than a plea.  
"I go look for you Miss Blair." Dorota obliged, escaping Blair's room and returning mere seconds later with a stunning black dress.  
"She leave note on it. I assume Miss Eleanor knew about Mr Chuck's proposal and thought Miss Blair would need an outfit." Dorota held out the dress on the hanger for Blair who eyed the dress in awe. A diamond ring, and an Eleanor Waldorf original – Could you get any luckier? Not to mention Blair would be the first person to ever try on this dress. Even though her mom and Cyrus were off on an around the world trip, she had still managed to create a beautiful cashmere black ensemble for her special night. Her heart swelled with warmth for her mother.  
"Can you help me pick out some matching shoes?" Blair smiled, and Dorota all too willingly accepted the order. She handed Blair the dress and immediately began searching for the perfect heels. Blair slipped out of her pencil skirt and Alannah Hill blouse and slipped into the black cocktail dress. When she pulled it on, she had never felt so incredibly naked. The front of the dress had a plunging v neck that ended just above her belly-button. The back of the dress was much the same, only it stopped right above her butt. She'd have to wear this dress without a bra, or risk fashion suicide. She took off her bra and then admired herself in the mirror. The dress had been especially made to accentuate her best assets, her butt and her amazingly slender figure. Her boobs, which she'd always been self-conscious about because they were so small, now actually looked normal; the v neck had made her cleavage all too obvious and she knew Chuck would not be able to resist. This made her smile devilishly to herself as she imagined all the things that would transpire tonight.  
"Here Miss Blair. Silver Jimmy Choo heels always goes with black dress." Dorota explained pulling out the 3 inch Jimmy Choo heels. Blair exhaled in appreciation. What would she do without Dorota?  
"Thanks Dorota. Chuck's going to be here any minute. We're going out to celebrate our engagement! Don't wait up for me." She exclaimed excitedly as she whipped out some lipstick and began applying it onto her lips. She heard the elevator arrive at her penthouse, and suddenly felt a rush of excitement. Dorota told the male visitor that Blair was in her room, and he quickly fled up the stairs to greet her. She took one last glance at herself before he arrived and then turned around to greet him at her bedroom door.  
"Hey Blair." He spoke.  
"Nate?"


	2. Chapter 2

"Hey Blair." He spoke.  
"Nate?" She asked, taken aback by the reappearance of her former flame in her bedroom. He looked ready to go out, fully dressed in a sophisticated tux, he's hair done nicely and the scent of fresh cologne coming off him – only, he was the wrong guy.  
"What are you doing here? I'm about to go out." She explained, grabbing her trench coat to cover herself for suddenly she felt even more naked, if that was even possible.  
"I know. I just wanted to congratulate you, you know?" He said, his hands in his pockets, a smile playing on his lips. Why on earth? He hadn't so much as spoken to Blair since graduation before summer, and now he was showing up at her house to congratulate her?  
"Oh, thanks Nate. We both appreciate it." She smiled as warmly as she could, even though she was very confused. He held his hands out and approached her – clearly wanting a hug. She fought against her will to decline him; deciding that they were friends and they could talk about things like this without there being any romance involved. She walked into his arms, and he pulled her in tight for a hug. He really did smell good; and fresh – very fresh; like he had been especially trying to impress her when he came to visit. This thought thoroughly disturbed Blair, and she began to pull away.  
"Uh...Chuck's coming...soon..." She struggled to pronounce, for Nate had begun to caress her cheek.  
"You look wonderful." Nate admired, looking her up and down. Suddenly, a clearing of a throat interrupted their lines of thought.  
"Am I interrupting something?" Chuck's voice asked from a leaning against the doorframe position.  
"Chuck!" Blair smiled, immediately ripping herself from Nate's arms and walked into Chuck's. She pecked him lightly on the lips; but he seemed less than pleased. How long had he been here?  
"I just wanted to congratulate her, I figured, since I'd already congratulated you, Chuck."  
"I'm sure." Chuck's brooding look eyed Nate, and he began fidgeting with his hands.  
"I'd better leave you two then. Have fun." And with that Nate strode past them and downstairs. When they were perfectly sure he had entered the elevator and began descending towards Ground Level, only then did Chuck speak.  
"What the hell was that for?" He asked with a hint of rage in his tone.  
"I have no idea. I thought it was you, and then he told me that he wanted to congratulate me and then he asked for a hug and then he touched my hair..." Blair recounted, awestruck by the recent event. Did Nate still harbor feelings for her? After breaking up for the third time? He can't! She's engaged, Chuck Bass is her fiancé now.  
"Come on, let's not ruin this night. I've been so excited all day." Blair smiled and Chuck seemed to relax a little. She took off her coat and hung it over her arm, because it was becoming quite warm in her room. When she realised Chuck was not following her, she turned around to seem him gaping at her.  
"Uh...are we going?" She asked, but Chuck remained paralysed. His eyes, the only body part moving; up and down her sexy frame.  
"Wow." Was all he managed to get out. She blushed and began tugging at her straps which were feeling increasingly tight.  
"Mom made it...for tonight..." She giggled nervously. Chuck swallowed hard.  
"Was it specially designed to be ripped off?" He asked, and Blair giggled again. His movement from the frame of her bedroom door to the hallway where she stood occurred in rapid succession. He had her pinned up against the wall before she even realised what was happening.  
"I'm afraid, if you don't put any clothes on, I won't be able to control myself tonight." He whispered, hot and heavy, and desperate. On the contrary, she had never felt so much in control. She smiled maliciously and moved her lips towards his, ever so closely, yet still not touching. He could feel her warm breath, smell her perfume perfectly. His senses had never been so stimulated before.  
"What are you going to do to me?" She asked, carefully placing her arms around his neck and moulding her body to his.  
"I'm going to make love to you now." He whispered back.  
"Good choice." She laughed devilishly as he threw his lips onto hers and thrashed his tongue into her mouth. His acts were desperate; he needed her so bad this moment. It was becoming increasingly evident as the mark in his pants began to erect. He pulled her back into her room, and slammed the door shut behind them. Would Dorota hear? Usually their lovemaking was so intense; such an out-of-body experience, that they lost complete control of their senses and body; giving in to the pleasure.  
He threw her onto the bed and then climbed on top of her. Their body's moved in sync with each other. They'd gotten to know each other's bodies so well this past summer that there was no fumbling or awkwardness. Their actions slowed as Blair pulled the straps of her "dress" off her shoulders and shimmied out of it; leaving her completely naked. Chuck kissed her on the mouth and then moved across her cheek, down her jaw and then moved onto her neck; as Blair steadily undid his tie and top button, which he always had done up like a gentleman. She slowly undid the rest of the buttons on his shirt to add suspense – and then finally reached his pants, which she almost habitually unzipped and pulled off him. She brought her hands back to his face, pulling it towards him, aching for the pleasure to begin. Chuck happily conceded. She swore she felt her body elevate off the bed as he entered her, his member throbbing with pleasure. He stared deep into her eyes, and she stared into his – swearing to catch a glimpse of each other's souls. They had never felt so connected to each other before; not only romantically, but sexually and now, officially. The rest of the night followed in similar fashion; until they were officially exhausted. It was past midnight at that point. The plans for the night had taken a fairly, but not entirely different turn. The moonlight poured through the slightly ajar curtain and bounced off Blair's beautiful womanly curves. Her skin looked porcelain, and Chuck was scared that if he touched it, he would break it. Instead, he admired the back of her. He felt obliged to put his arm on the adorable dip where her waist was. He carefully put his arm around her and then kissed her shoulders lightly. She stirred a little in her sleep, but didn't wake. How the hell did he get so lucky? How could someone so perfect, so amazing and kind and beautiful ever love someone like him? Stick by him through his very worst, wait a whole year just for him to say three little words? He'd never forgive himself for making her wait so long; putting her through so much pain in the process. He'd tell her he loved her every single day; more than once; for the rest of their lives.  
He kissed her lightly down her back; the taste of her skin beneath his lips was just as pleasurable as kissing her on the lips. She tasted so damn good; even when drenched in sweat.  
"Mmm...that feels so good..." she mumbled incoherently. Her voice was heavily tainted with sleep, but the feeling of Chuck's kisses left a lingering feeling of elation on her back, it was hard to stay asleep – not that she was complaining.  
"You taste so good." He replied. She turned her neck around to face Chuck who knew immediately what she wanted, and kissed her lightly, but passionately. It was a while before they got back to sleep that night.

Dan waited at the Arrivals Terminal at JFK impatiently; striding back and forth in front of the gate. Every time it opened up, his hopes went up, but he saw no sign of a tousled black hair, or piercing blue eyes searching for him.  
"Dan, seriously...calm down. Her plane just landed; she's probably still going through customs." Jenny said for the umpteenth time that morning. It was only 11.30am, and they'd arrived an hour earlier; but it felt like much longer. Jenny sighed, running through her recently dyed brown hair. It suited her very well, Dan thought. The first time he saw it, he was merely surprised, but instead of being repulsed, he was intrigued. She looked a lot more mature – perhaps it was to do with the fact she was a junior now, and quite officially Queen Bee – she'd been crowned herself by former Queen, Blair Waldorf. It was good that they had parted on good terms.  
"There she is!" Jenny cried, getting up from her sitting position on the lounges and standing on her toes to see Vanessa Abrams over the crowd of people waiting in front of the gate. Dan looked up so quickly, he nearly tore a nerve in his neck and gave himself a head rush. To say she looked different was an understatement. Her characterised black curls had been ironed out straight; and her now straight hair was cropped to her shoulders. She was a lot tanner; though that didn't say much as she had always been naturally tan. She seemed to carry an awe of summer vintage, rather than bohemian; which is what gave Vanessa her identity. Dan could not believe it was Vanessa walking through the sliding glass doors; despite the resemblance in the facial features.  
"Vanessa!!" Jenny cried. Her heels had officially made her taller than Dan, which played on his self-conscious, but he quickly forgot about it. Vanessa looked around at the sound of her name being called; and smiled back as she acknowledged the Humphrey's who had gone out of their way to pick her up from the airport.  
"Dan! Jenny!" She cried, struggling with her suitcase as she ran towards them. She hugged them both – the smell of a heavy perfume filled Dan's nostrils.  
"Sorry, I got a bit carried away at Duty Free! Do you like it? It's the new Chanel." She smiled, scrimmaging through her new handbag from something.  
"And I got each of you a present...from Duty Free." She pulled out a plastic bag full of different makeup and accessories.  
"Ah thanks Vanessa, I recently ran out of...Maybeline..." Dan commented, eyeing the Duty Free bag which was threatening to explode. Exactly how much had she bought? Jenny cried in excitement and hugged Vanessa in gratitude.  
"It's Lancôme, Dan." Jenny replied and Dan sighed.  
"Don't worry Dan, I've got you something too." Vanessa assured, reaching back down into her seemingly bottomless bag. She pulled out another Duty Free shopping back and handed it to Dan.  
"Vodka?" He asked, pulling a blue Bombay Sapphire bottle.  
"It's Gin actually. We're not legal in America; but we are in Germany! I figured that as you start your career as a brooding writer, you're going to need an angle to write from. All artists have problems...you can be an alcoholic!" She smiled; flashing a set of brilliant white teeth that only contrasted more with her darker skin. Dan chuckled and gave Vanessa a one-armed hug.  
"So, uh, where's Manbangs?" Dan asked, assisting Vanessa with her massive suitcase. For the first time since she stepped out, she stopped smiling. She was silent for a minute before she spoke up.  
"Didn't work out." And that was all she said. Dan decided not to question the topic any further, and instead got her talking her wonderful trip – eating "pierogi" in Old Town, Warsaw.

"Yes, this is Lillian Bass-Humphrey; I'd like to hire your catering services for a party tomorrow night. It's an engagement party.... No, not mine. I'm already married.... Oh, thank you! How very sweet.... Yes, it was lovely.... We spent it in California..." Lilly crooned into the phone as Serena was making hand signals to stop her reminiscing with the catering company and get to the purpose of the call.  
"Oh, sorry...it's just my daughter... No, she's not the one engaged, family friend actually. But Serena's throwing the party..."  
"Mom!" Serena cried and Lilly sighed.  
"Sorry, she's awfully impatient. I just wanted to hire you.... Yes, it's at the penthouse; 7.30pm is when it starts.... Ok, well we'll see you tomorrow then. Have a good day." And then she hung up.  
"Geez mom, I'm pretty sure the catering doesn't care about where you spent your honeymoon!" Serena complained, throwing her hands in the hair animatedly.  
"They asked! And besides, I'm still revelling in happiness." Lilly practically danced up the stairs and disappeared into hers and Rufus' bedroom.  
Just then, the elevator rang and out came Chuck; wearing the same clothes as the night before.  
"I don't want to know." Serena said before had the chance to gloat. He suppressed a smile.  
"I'm not one to kiss and tell...especially with Blair." Serena rolled her eyes, reaching for a clipboard with a list of names taking up about 4 pages.  
"These are the potential guests for your engagement party tomorrow." She said handing them to him. He furrowed his eyebrows as he scanned the list. Many of them he only knew because of their ranking in the social ladder – but most of them he had not even met.  
"They've all been notified and most of them have RSVP'd. Everyone who's anyone in Manhattan will be here tomorrow night celebrating – I won't be surprised if this becomes national news!" Serena cried excitedly. Chuck exhaled. He hadn't even had a hand in planning his own engagement party. I guess that's what you get when Serena van der Woodsen is your step-sister.  
"What about humpty-dumpty?" He asked, handing her back the clipboard and throwing his trench coat over the back of the white leather sofa. Serena's smile faltered.  
"I...uh...haven't spoken to him all summer. I mean, you'd think since he's dad's moved in he'd come around at least once a week. But I don't care. He wasn't all that upset about us not staying friends." She replied, awkwardly fiddling with her necklace.  
"He's loss." Chuck replied, and Serena looked up at him with fondness. The edge of his lips curved up into a half smile as her patted her on the shoulder affectionately and then turned around to head upstairs.  
Serena grabbed her purse and caught the elevator downstairs. The heat of the final days of summer was beginning to get to her head, and she needed some fresh air.

Nathaniel Archibald was going for his routine afternoon jog later on that Saturday. The warm sun beat down on his bare chest; sweat dripped off his entire body, making him gleam in the sunlight; and he was fully aware of all the female attention he was receiving. He crossed a bridge and rounded the lake before picking up speed to overtake a very slow paced couple. As he ran, he let his mind wander to last night, when he had gone to congratulate Blair. Of course he knew she was engaged and officially taken – that's why he went to congratulate her; but when he saw her, wearing minimal clothing and with her hair messily cascading down past her slender shoulders, he couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy for the fact that Chuck had won her over him. Before graduation, everything had been going fine. Him and Blair had finally found some common ground and could really be together; at least, that's the way he saw it. He came to realise all the little things he had missed when they were together, like the way she spoke of their relationship – like it was out of a Disney movie – or how soft and sweet her kisses were. He missed the feeling of hugging her tiny frame. He'd always wondered how someone so small could have such a big ego and personality. But all the while he rediscovered his love her; she was lusting after, or rather in love with Chuck Bass. Was she honestly just using Nate to get Chuck upset? Was Nate a ploy in her plan to get Chuck so jealous that he'd eventually tell her he loved her so they could be together? Was Nate a stop along the way to the destination that was Chuck? If he was unsure of the purpose of their relationship by then, he'd been pretty damn certain by Prom, when she broke up with him because he felt like a 'high school boyfriend'. She'd outgrown him, was basically what she was saying. Fair enough; he'd thought, although unlike their previous break ups – it didn't feel over for him. He'd been unable to accept their relationship as just extinguishing, because for him, nothing was wrong. He'd bought them an apartment, and they were going to move in together; he'd taken her to his cousin's wedding, where the discussion and planning of their own wedding had begun – they were perfect for those short, sweet few weeks they'd been together – how could she just fall out of love with him? Was she ever actually in love with him? Certainly not the way she was with Chuck, because it couldn't even hold them together til the end of prom. The way they broke up was so spontaneous; so out of nowhere; Nate was still trying to get his head around it, even after 3 months worth of thinking about it.  
So when Nate arrived at Blair's penthouse last night with the pure intention of congratulating her for her engagement to his best friend; he had to admit the feelings that erupted in his stomach when he caught sight of her in that stunning dress, were not a surprise, to say the least. Of course he had expected them, but not as vivid and strong as he actually had felt them. The desire to stride across her room and plant a hot and heavy kiss on her perfectly shaped lips was almost unbearable – but he resisted; his friendship with Chuck meant too much to him; he didn't want to fight with him over the same thing over and over again. No, he didn't act on his desire to kiss her, but he had to hug her. At least touch her beautiful skin and feel her tiny frame wrapped around him. So he did. But as soon as he did, he knew it was a mistake, because those feelings, the desire only became stronger – and he was so damn close to kissing her, that if Chuck had of come 5 minutes later, he would have probably had Blair pinned up against the wall, declaring his undying love for her. But Nate tried convincing himself that Chuck's earlier arrival had been a sign – Blair was gone, for good. She was taken by his best friend, and there was nothing he could do about it now. He'd had his chance; two of them – the first of which he had found himself merely smitten with the blonde, leggy Serena Van der Woodsen who was like a shooting star that quickly shot across his sky. He was temporarily blinded by her beauty and flirtatious ways; but once she had gone out of the picture, he'd almost completely forgotten about her. Unfortunately, by that time, Blair had moved on. He didn't blame her. He was a fool for letting her go. It was only when she had seemed to be over him that he found himself craving her attention – the fact she was no longer in love him, or at least acting this way, was unsettling. He loved the attention; but most of all, he just realised he actually wanted her – thus he began pursuing her the night of the Cotillion Ball. He'll never forget that night. It couldn't have been more perfect – two souls desperate for each other; and finding a way to connect. It was their first time with each other. He liked to think Blair lost her virginity to him, but unfortunately he was wrong – though that barely impacted on the intensity of the passion-filled night.  
For a few weeks, they were happy; until he discovered Chuck had taken Blair's virginity from him and that fused a punch on between the two best friends. Unfortunately Nate had been so blinded by his outrage at the predicament, the situation at hand; that he broke things off with Blair and failed to see that she had merely repeated his earlier mistake. He should have forgiven her then. Perhaps it would have been The Archibald-Waldorf Engagement Party that was going to be thrown tomorrow night instead. His heart began to ache as he realised he was becoming increasingly puffed out; so he slowed down to a jog and eventually a walk.  
Nate had let Blair slip through his fingers; and this was his punishment. Too bad it was only coming now, when it was far too late.


	3. Chapter 3

"So what have we got planned for the weekend...or what's left of it?" Vanessa asked they arrived at the Humphrey loft. Ever since Rufus had gotten married to Lily, he had moved out – leaving the loft all for Dan and Jenny. Of course, they had been invited to move into the Van der Bass apartment themselves, but Dan wasn't too keen on sharing a room with Chuck or sleeping on the couch. But if he was to be completely honest, he didn't want to see Serena. It wasn't that they'd had another argument or anything; he just realised that while he was friends with her, he'd never actually get the chance to properly get over her. In the past school year, they had gotten back together three times – once of which was a set up in order to get Serena's former flame, Gabriel, to back off – but nonetheless, twice was more than enough. When he was friends with her, he always lusted after her; when they were together, they couldn't seem to make it work. It was a rollercoaster ride that wouldn't stop unless someone made a stand – and that was Dan. He had told it to her straight at the graduation celebration at her penthouse before the summer that there was no point in staying friends as nothing was holding them together anymore. He didn't believe it, but he didn't want to be stuck in an on again off again relationship with Serena Van der Woodsen for the rest of his life.

"The Waldorf-Bass Engagement Party." Jenny replied, lounging on the couch with a fashion magazine. Vanessa snorted.

"Blair and Chuck? Married? They'll be broken up before they even get the chance to get married." Neither Jenny nor Dan responded; they knew Chuck and Blair's relationship was a lot stronger than that.

"Ok, weird vibe..." Vanessa spoke when no one answered, and then lounged down on the other side of the couch Jenny was sitting on.

"How was summer in Brooklyn?" Vanessa asked Dan.

"The usual, glorious summer it's always been. What about summer a la Francais?" Dan asked in his most atrocious impersonation of a French accent.

"Paris was good; Amsterdam was also alright – but what really made my summer was every night when I logged onto my account and read the night's email from Scott." Vanessa explained, a smile spreading across her face.

"Scott? Who's Scott?" Jenny asked, looking up from her magazine. Dan furrowed his eyebrows as her tried to remember when Vanessa had ever mentioned a Scott – and then remembered back to the day in NYU when he and Vanessa had decided to check out the campus; and in the process ran into Nate Archibald and a guy named Scott...

"Wait, you've been emailing each other the whole summer?" Dan asked, intrigued.

"Yes. It's nothing creepy since I've already met him and spoken to him face to face; but since he was in New York and I was overseas, we had to commute some how."

"Wait, wait, wait. So you went out of your way to email some guy every night during your European summer trip, without so much as sending me a _Hi Dan, how you doing?_?" Dan asked, offended. Vanessa furrowed her eyebrows.

"What are you talking about? I called you when I was on top of the Eiffel Tower! Do you know how much international phone calls cost? And we spoke on IM and by text every other day! You have no right to complain." And Dan just stifled a laugh.

"So this Scott...is it serious?" He asked, raising an eyebrow suspiciously. They both eyed Jenny who switched between looking at Dan and Vanessa.

"What? Oh come on! I want to hear!" But suddenly her phone went off signalling a message from Eric.

"Just your luck! Eric wants to go out since his apartment is getting all set up from Project Engagement Party." And Jenny swiftly rose from the couch on her long legs that carried her out of the loft.

"Do go on." Dan prompted, leaning in closer as if it would increase his hearing ability.

"We're going to meet tomorrow. Again that is. Not for the first time. Since we've already met." Vanessa reassured, as Dan plastered a sceptical facial expression.

"Alright. Is it a date?"

"No! Just a meeting. Just to talk."

"Yes...because you have so much to talk about. So many fond memories to reminisce over..." Dan droned on as Vanessa began beating him with a pillow.

The next morning, Serena escaped the apartment in the early hours of the morning so as to avoid being in the way of the caterers setting up tonight's party. She met up with Blair at Saks in search of the perfect outfit for tonight.

"Good morning, sunshine!" She cried, greeting her best friend with a kiss on the cheek.

"It is a good morning!" Blair replied, the picture of blissful fiancée. It truly was. The sky was cloudless, allowing the sun to pour right through onto the city. The last two days of summer were approaching; and university was beginning. Who knew how many more days Serena and Blair would have to just sit back and relax in the lifestyle they had.

"Please don't tell me you've gone all out for tonight." Blair pleaded and Serena smiled devilishly.

"You'll be pleasantly surprised, I am certain. It's going to be so good; us four – You, Chuck, Nate and me; high school people, mom's friends, your mom and Cyrus are flying down especially from Canada, your dad and Roman from Paris, just about everyone who matters in New York..." Serena continued in a hum while Blair was contemplating what she said.

"That reminds me...did I tell you about Nate?" She asked, clearly remembering she hadn't yet, but ignored this.

"No! What happened?" Serena asked, her face lighting up at the sound of gossip.

"He came over on Friday night to congratulate me. Then he hugged me. And I swear if Chuck hadn't of come like two seconds later, he would have kissed me." Blair explained; in a merely disgusted tone. Serena stared at her, her mouth agape.

"Nate Archibald?"

"The very one." Serena continued to stare at her, willing herself to believe that at any second now Blair would laugh and tell her she was kidding.

"But...he knows you're engaged....why would he try to kiss you?" Serena asked, and Blair shrugged her shoulders. It was just as a mystery to her as it was to anyone else.

"Um, what did Chuck say about it?"

"He was a bit upset, as you'd be. But then I made him forget all about it!" Blair explained, cheerfully adding the last statement; ultimately rendering the Nate situation unimportant and a forgotten topic.

Vanessa clicked her way down Broadway, to the Starbucks cafe in her Italy imported Versace heels. She wore a simple beige coloured jumpsuit that accentuated her perfect European summer tan, and dressed it up with a beautiful black Kate Spade handbag. She was oddly nervous, yet excited to meet Scott 'Last Name Unknown' again. The last time she saw him, she remembered she was attracted to his chocolate brown eyes and matching hair. He had very masculine and good looking features. She reached the store, pushed open the glass door that granted her entry to a pleasantly air-conditioned cafe – a nice relief from the heat outside. She scanned the room for a man that resembled her only memory of Scott.

"Vanessa?" Someone called from a table to her right. She looked over, and surely there he was; as cute as she remembered – same hair, same eyes – smiling up at her. She smiled back and walked over to his table.

"Hi, nice to _see_ you." He greeted her with a handshake, putting extra emphasis on the word 'see'. Vanessa laughed.

"You too! How've you been since our last email? You were saying something about getting a new job or something..." Vanessa began; leading the conversation onto an extremely lengthy and animated conversation about terrible jobs, which lead on to terrible people they'd work for, that lead on to terrible people in general; and in turn terrible people they've hooked up with...

"Chuck Bass? You hooked up with Chuck Bass? That guys all over the newspapers here in New York. Isn't he like the youngest billionaire in the country?" He asked with too much enthusiasm. Vanessa looked over him, sceptically, but nodded nonetheless.

"Yes, it was kind of...out of spite." She explained; repulsed as she allowed herself to remember that night half a year ago.

"So I guess you're part of the _in_ crowd; the elite Upper East Siders, then?" He suggested with an edge to his voice.

"No, no. I'm not. I did have a relationship with one of them; but that ended a while ago." And then Vanessa changed the subject.

"Afternoon kids," Rufus Humphrey called as he entered through the front door of the loft. It had been a few days since he last visited the kids at the loft; but he had gotten so used to the purity and sanitation of the apartment; the white walls and pearly white hand towels in the bathroom; that the loft suddenly felt very dirty and unhygienic. He wiped his hands on his jacket after he closed the front door behind himself and stepped into the lounge area.

"Dan? Jenny?" He called when no one answered. Just then, Dan walked out of his room, less than impressed.

"Hey, sorry. Are you looking for someone?" He asked in convincing oblivion. Rufus raised an eyebrow. He, for one, was not going to talk his son's sarcasm on a beautiful day like today.

"My kids, actually."

"Kids? Sorry, I think you've got the wrong apartment." Dan responded, unsmiling and cold as ever.

"Dan? Could we bite back with the sarcasm?" Rufus asked politely, unable to find his reactions somewhat amusing anymore.

"Maybe if my father hadn't of ditched us for his deluxe-apartment owning billionaire wife!" He yelled; his frustration getting the better of him.

"Oh, so what do you propose? That Lily moves in here? To this shabby little rented apartment?"

"Sorry dad, if we're not your acquired taste..."

"Son, I didn't come here to argue. I am married to Lily now; she has a big apartment with lots of room for all us to move in. As her husband, I took up on that offer. That's not to stay she did not bestow that offer onto my children – just my children were too stubborn to accept it." He spoke with all authority he could muster. Dan stared at him; and was sad to realise that much of the single, rock-band father he'd know for the better half of his life, was gone. No longer did he wear his flannel shirts and torn apart jeans; or his rock-band bracelets and chokers. Dan had grown so accustomed to that little bit of scruffy stubble that emanated from his chin, that when Rufus had eventually shaved it off; he looked a lot different – naked, almost. Though Dan knew perfectly well how happy his father had been the past three months – he had lost weight, and started to take care of his looks by washing his hair more often – he felt like he'd lost his father.

"Jenny and I were raised in this apartment. Did you honestly think we'd move out so quickly? That we'd be so willing to move out to the Upper East Side – a place we'd only ever imagined living in our wildest dreams; a place that I had, for a very long time, despised with great hatred? Dad; I don't want to become...like them..." Dan struggled, rubbing his temples and sighing, "I don't want to become like what you've become." He finally mustered. Rufus approached Dan slowly, his hands in his pockets; and instead of recoiling from Dan's harsh words, he looked very understanding and thoughtful.  
"Are you sure? Or is the real reason that you don't want to live in the same apartment as Serena?" Rufus asked; seeing right through Dan's perfectly masked facade. Of course it was because of Serena! The only love of his life; his ex girlfriend with whom he'd spent more time getting together and breaking up again than actually being in a stable relationship with, was officially his step-sister. He could not look at her the same way; even thinking back to those glorious months they had back in Junior Year when they had first started dating, was painful and awkward – instead of looking at them as happy memories, the words _incest_ kept creeping into his mind. Obviously he was not blood-related to her; but now he was related to her by marriage, and that still fell into the category of related. They were family; but not in the sense Dan had always imagined it – him as the doting, loving husband and father, and Serena as the beautiful and sexy socialite wife – no, he was now Dan Humphrey, ex-boyfriend and step-sister of Serena Van der Woodsen-Bass-Humphrey. Could her last name honestly get any longer? She didn't actually change her name to Bass when her mother was married to Bart, and she hasn't changed her name now that her mother was married to Rufus – but the fact remained unchanged – she was all those names now.

"I can't look at her the same." Dan finally spoke after a long silence. He didn't look up from the floor. Rufus put his hand on Dan's shoulder and squeezed it tight.

"I know you aren't angry at me for moving out; you're angry at me for marrying Lily." Rufus stated matter-of-factly.

"No, Dad. I'm happy for you. Really! I just...it's so weird...me and Serena can never..." Dan, illustrious for his once a month stories that are published in _The New Yorker_, ever since the summer started; had never been so lost for words.

"Son, you and Serena obviously need to talk. And that's what I'm here for. Lily insists that you guys come over for the Waldorf-Bass engagement party and she's not taking no for an answer." Rufus explained. Dan didn't retort. He knew he had to talk to Serena; but he was scared – if he couldn't even face her after graduation, how was he going to face her after three months of silence? But, determined to prove himself not the coward he believe himself to be, he nodded.

"Where's Jenny?" Rufus asked, patting his son on the shoulder in approval of his decision.

"Out, with Eric." Dan replied, grabbing his phone and keys that were lying on the coffee table as he prepared to leave with his father. They travelled downstairs and out of the building, when Dan turned left and began approaching the stairs that lead to the subway.

"Um, Dan?" Rufus called, heading in the opposite direction. Dan whipped his head around only to see a black sedan parked outside the building, waiting for them. Of course, he thought to himself. He was a part of the Van der Woodsen-Bass family now; and they lived in style.

"So, thank you, S, for taking me out today and organising the party and everything. You're the best friend anyone could ask for!" Blair smiled; her excitement too overbearing to mask. Serena smiled her multimillion-dollar smile and embraced Blair as they waited for the Van der-Bass elevator to make its way to ground level.

"But, I know you've talked all about me to avoid the subject of something else." Blair began. Serena raised an eyebrow.

"And what subject would that be?" She asked as the elevator rang, signalling its arrival. They stepped in, and as no one else was occupying the elevator, Blair continued.

"Let me give you a hint. Its name starts with D and ends with an N. He's your step-father's son; your ex-boyfriend and now your step-brother. You've only been pretending you've forgotten all about him this summer but my super-best-friend-senses tell me that you're not. You're purposely avoiding any subjects that may lead on to him. Have I given you a clue yet?" Blair asked her large brown eyes wide with curiosity. Serena sighed, flipping her long blonde hair back. She looked over at Blair who was stubborn enough not to be the one to break the silence. Serena finally surrendered.

"Ok! Fine! So what if I've been thinking about him all summer? He's made no effort to contact me or patch things up between us. Maybe Gossip Girl was right; maybe I am irrelevant...and now Dan's starting to see it too." She spoke; breaking down the wall she had spent all summer building. Her eyes prickled with tears as the stinging memories of their last encounter flooded her mind.

"Don't you dare think that way, S! You are the farthest thing from irrelevant! And frankly; I think if he's not making an effort, it's clear that he's finally gotten the message that you are too good for him. He knows that he's effort are wasted." Blair tried as best as she could to comfort Serena. Blair had never herself made an effort to cover her distaste for Dan. Though she had rendered him tolerable ever since he and Serena had started their tumultuous relationship, she still considered Serena to be way out of his league. But Serena did not listen to Blair; she always has and probably always will, love Dan Humphrey.

"Please, B; don't say that." She fought back traitor tears; hot and heavy, and clogging up her throat. Blair swallowed hard.

"Serena, he's probably having a hard time accepting that you're his step-sister now. I can't imagine becoming Chuck's step-sister...what that would do to me...how it would make me feel. But I know that what you guys had, _have_, is very real, and strong. I'm sure if you guys talk about it, you'll be able to work something out." Blair wiped Serena's tears away and hugged her. Serena hugged her back and her heart swelled with warmth for her best friend. She knew how hard it was for Blair to speak so highly of Dan; and when she did, it made it even truer.

The elevator signalled its arrival to the penthouse, and they stepped out, armed with shopping bags. The penthouse had been transformed into a chic and elegant party. The windows had been draped with red curtains; the afternoon sun shining through them illuminated a red glow in the room that gave it an extra class of sophistication, and a hue of romance. The cater waiters were dressed very stylishly in cashmere red and black vests that went with the theme of romance. They had long white sleeved, sharp-edge-collared shirts underneath their vests and wore a pair of black business-suit pants. There was a bar in place of the kitchen counter; the bartender experimenting with several different imports of gin and vodka. And who better to taste-test them than Blair's very own, Chuck Bass.

"This one's too bitter; a think a bit of the Firefly should tone it down, and perhaps change the colour – it looks like vomit." He explained, not even a hint of remorse in his words. Still the arrogant son of a bitch he always ways; only this time, he was _Blair's_ son of a bitch.

"Afternoon, ladies." He greeted them, placing his glass back on the counter and approaching both of them. Serena forced a smile while wiping away the evidence of her tears and Blair placed her shopping bags on the sofa. He put his arm seductively around her tiny waist and pulled her in for a passionate kiss. It had seemed like a week, not a mere 24 hours, since they last saw each other; and they were both had not realised how much they were craving each other until he planted his lips on hers and parted them slightly with his probing tongue.

A clearing of the throat behind them interrupted them both, and Chuck pulled Blair aside, keeping his arm protectively on her waist.

"Sorry sis." He chuckled smugly, as he greeted her with a kiss on the cheek.

"I'm just going to put my bags away into..." Blair began, but then Chuck interrupted, "my room. Go ahead, I'm right behind you." And Blair smiled as she retreated down the hallway with Chuck Bass right on her tail.

"Oh that's alright guys! You know, you can leave me here..." Serena called out but they were too engrossed with each other to even notice her. She smiled to herself and then fell into the sofa below her, letting her droopy eyelids close.

"So, you got me alone in your room. What did you want?" Blair asked more for effect rather than general curiosity because of course she knew what he wanted; she wanted it too. He closed the door carefully and quietly, and then he was right across the room quicker than she'd ever seen him. He kissed her hard, holding her face quite gently though, as if were the most fragile object in the world.

"You." He responded in a barely audible whisper, and then before they even knew it; before she even had the chance to evaluate the situation and place her bags properly on the floor; he had thrown her back onto his bed and then climbed onto her – much like two nights ago. Again it was urgent movement – like they couldn't get to each other fast enough. Blair knew this was wrong – their guests were expected in about five hours and there was still so much to do; not to mention all the caters just outside and Serena and Lily! Had Chuck even locked the door? Someone could walk in! And then he was slowly creeping down her neck, planting soft kisses that left tingling sensations. Her skin felt like it was on fire.

"Chuck – wait..." she gasped for air. _Don't worry about it!_ Her less respectable side argued. _What if Serena came in looking for you? That would scar her for life!_

"Mmyes?" Chuck managed to say in between urgent kisses. He wanted to be kissing her all over at the same time. He brought his lips back to hers, desperate, and she reciprocated – although she tried to fight her will, it turned to dust when he touched her.

"We...should...wait..." she gasped again, breathless. He slowed down; she ran her fingers through his hair and he damn well nearly lost his mind.

"Yeah..." he replied reluctantly, also breathless. He lay down beside her, and they panted together.

"You look so beautiful." He spoke after they'd caught their breath.

"You've got no idea. Serena and I went on a major shopping spree and I got the nicest dress for tonight!" She cried happily, jumping off the bed and grabbing the shopping bag marked _Valentino_. He smiled at her incessant raving; the sight of her happiness was enough to stop all wars.

"You look great in anything," he began, getting up onto his knees, "and I'm so happy..." he edged closer to her, "to be going to _my_ engagement party to _you_." He finished just as he got to the edge of his bed. She was standing above him, her hands resting on his broad shoulders. How Chuck loved it whenever Blair was on top. She smiled and then craned her neck so that she could reach his lips and kiss him gently. They couldn't get too carried away. It was more intense than any other kiss, because it was soft and they were both longing for each other it was almost too much to resist. But Blair wanted to keep her word – and it would only make the night even more passionate.

Just as they broke away, they heard the elevator ring. The guests were already arriving? Lucky they'd stopped.

"We should greet the guests." She spoke, her hand dropping off his shoulder as she walked towards the door. Chuck followed close behind and then together, they walked towards the front room.

"Hey Serena!" Rufus cried as he stepped through. _It's only Rufus._ Blair breathed, and Chuck mirrored her expression of relief.

"Hey, Rufus...and...Dan..."She spoke tentatively. Dan murmured something that resembled a 'hello' and then looked down at his feet.

"Ah, Serena...your mother...is she upstairs?" Rufus asked, breaking the awkward silence.

"Yes she's taking care of some stuff."

"Oh that's good. Party stuff, yes? That would require the help of Chuck and Blair?" Rufus asked, looking towards Blair and Chuck who were standing in silence, side by side.

"Of course, right behind you Mr Humphrey." Blair spoke, taking Chuck's hand and following Rufus up the stairs; leaving Serena and Dan alone.

Serena inhaled sharply and then sat back down on the couch. Dan idled around awkwardly, unsure if he should sit down next to her, or whether he should stand where he was. Who was meant to break the silence? Her and him? Technically it had been his isolation that caused the awkwardness between then now, but if she really wanted to talk to him, she would have made the extra effort, wouldn't she have?

"So are you just going to stand there awkwardly and not speak at all?" Serena asked harshly, anger colouring her tone. Dan was taken aback – he hadn't been spoken to like that by Serena since their second break up; and even that wasn't that harsh.

"Um...I don't know. Do we have anything to talk about?" He asked stupidly. Serena was fuming; if he looked hard enough he swore he could see steam coming out of her ears.

"If you were just going to act stupid like this, why the _hell_ did you come?" Serena cried, her frustration getting the better of her as she stormed off towards her room. Dan stood there, shocked, as he tried to contemplate her words.

"Why are you just standing there? Go after her!" One of the female cater waiters prompted; clearly on Serena's side. Dan, unsure of whether he was actually dreaming or whether this was reality, figured it be best if he followed the little person's orders – and went after Serena.

"Serena, wait!" He called after her, but her longs legs had carried her to her room before he was able to catch up, and she slammed the door in his face. She didn't lock it, so Dan opened it easily. The slamming was purely for effect. She was sitting on the edge of bed, facing away from the door; and she had her arms crossed tightly across her chest.

Dan walked quietly into the room and sat down lightly on the opposite side of the bed. They had their backs to each other. He leaned forward and put his face in his hands; taking a deep breath before he prepared himself for their talk.

"I owe you an explanation." He started slowly. Serena didn't speak. He wondered if she'd heard him through the steam coming out of her ears.

"Congratulations." She replied after a few long seconds, "you are truly Einstein." She replied just as harshly as before. Dan smiled to himself. Her hostility was adorable; but it was totally inappropriate for him to be laughing at this moment.

"There is a reason for why I've been avoiding you this summer," He continued; bracing himself for the wrath that was Serena.

"And it's not because I don't want to be friends with you or I hate you or anything about you." Serena loosened her muscles a fraction but was still incredibly tense – her anger radiated off her and filled the entire room with hot hate.

"I'm having...trouble...seeing you as...my step-sister." He finally confessed. He stopped talking then, wondering if Serena was ever going to speak. There was a silence; he had no idea how long it went for, but it was tense and Dan feared Serena was forming an aneurism.

"...w-why..?" Serena stuttered, obviously taken aback by the revelation. All this time she had thought Dan was avoiding her because he didn't want to be with her; thought of her as irrelevant and a waste of his time – but this news was a totally different direction. Dan exhaled loudly.

"I don't know...maybe the fact that you're my ex-girlfriend, the first love of my life and I will probably never stop loving you...and now if I ever want to act on that, it'll just be weird...it _is_ weird...this is weird..." Dan muttered towards the end. His thoughts were going off on a tangent, but the point remained the same. He and Serena = _weird_.

"No it's not," She said softly, "I was actually _so_ excited to find out about my mom and your dad. I've always wanted a family with you." She confessed.

"What? As a brother? Is that how you see me?"

"No, Dan! We're not related! Our parents are married, but we're not related!"

"Doesn't matter – you're my step-sister now; I'm your step-brother. We have a freaking half-brother together. We practically are related! Could our relationship become any more incestuous?!" Dan fumed.

"You're not angry at me, you're angry at your dad and my mom."

"Yes I am. They had their chance; they could have been together when they were younger – and now they're ruining it for us!" At this point they were both standing, and they had turned around to face each other head on.

"Dan; we have tried and we've failed...so many times...how can you still have hope for us?" Serena asked, a look of despair in her eyes. He knew of their failures – that was what their relationship was, a string of failures; but that didn't mean he loved her any less.

"Because I love you," he explained and Serena was speechless. She still loved him too; but they had failed together so many times, it wasn't even worth fighting for.

"Dan..."

"Do you love me?" He interrupted. She tried to walk past him and out of her room, but he stood in her way.

"Dan...please..."

"Do you still love me?" He asked again, firmly.


	4. Chapter 4

_**Hey guys! Wow I honestly did not expect people to be bothered with reading my stories when I first posted this up! Thank you so much, everyone! I have been trying to create larger gaps and tabs between the paragraphs, but for some reason it did not work for the last chapter. I have used an asteriks (*) to separate the paragraphs for this chapter so hopefully it will be easier to read; it's just when I write them up in word, I prefer using the "No Spacing" style because it keeps everything nice and condensed. **_

_**A few words before you read this chapter...I AM A MASSIVE CHAIR FAN! Never ever doubt that :P anything I make them go through is only to build up their epic romance. They are my favourite characters and I would love to write only about them..but then there would be no variety and my whole fanfic would become quite tedious. **_

_**That being said, I hope you enjoy Chapter 4!**_

* * *

"Do you still love me?" He asked again, firmly. Serena looked down at the floor and then slowly looked up into his deep, questioning brown eyes. _More than you know_, she wanted to say. But she couldn't muster the words. She opted for the easier, simpler version.

"Yes." And then Dan was kissing her fiercely. There was no pain that could justify missing the sensation of her full lips moving in unison with his. All their unspoken questions were answered when their lips met. Before they even knew what they were doing, they were ripping their clothes off and falling into Serena's bed.

"I've missed you so much." Serena cried as Dan kissed down her neck. Their hands were moving too quickly but not quick enough – it all happened so quickly. And then...it was over.

*

"We'd better help set up the party." Dan cried, getting out of Serena's bed. For some reason unbeknownst to him, he felt like he would betray her if he looked at her. He put his jeans on quickly and then searched the room for his shirt. Where had Serena thrown it in their intense moment of passion? He found it crinkled up in the corner. Serena sat up in her bed, her sheets wrapped around her. Ok, it had been awkward but Dan was making it even more so by his irrational behaviour. She was sure if they just talked it would be all fine and they could reach a defining conclusion.

"Dan, can you just wait please?" She pleaded with him as he threw his shirt on and headed for the door. He stopped in his tracks, but didn't look around.

"I...uh...don't know...what went wrong...but um...can you just look at me?" Serena asked, her tone becoming increasingly aggravated. Dan exhaled loudly and turned around on his heel. He didn't look her in the eyes – that was too much – but he faced her.

"I'm sorry." She spoke softly. Sorry for letting her emotions go way out of control and bringing upon them this uncomfortable stage in their relationship.

"Me too." And then he turned around and left her room. So their intended talk to patch things up between them had turned into a one-time in-the-heat-of-the-moment romp which had brought them back to the beginning, or, Serena feared, set them back even further. Could she ever look or think of him the same? She shuddered at the thought and then escaped into her bathroom to wash herself of her sins.

*

The guests started arriving at around 7.30, and before long, the apartment was the picture of a perfect Upper East Side social gathering. Socialites mingled with bank investors and stock brokers. Blair Waldorf was the star of the party; sporting a custom made _Valentino_ (when they heard it was for her engagement to Mr Bass, they had cancelled all prior appointments and gotten straight to working on it) and a Tiffany diamond the size of a walnut on her slender finger.

"It's stunning! My Blair, you're man sure has taste! And that dress! Oh, my goodness!" The jealous ones crooned and admired. Blair simply smiled and thanked them – there were too many people to attend to, to hold up a conversation with a particular one of them.

"Blair Bear!" She heard and she need not turn around to recognise who it was. Her father had his arms outstretched and was fast approaching her. Her eyes widened and she ran over to him to embrace him.

"I can't believe how beautiful you look. I can't believe my genes were able to produce such a good-looking child, don't you agree Roman?" He asked, unable to wipe the smile off his face.

"But of course! Blair iz a stunning creature. Come here and let uz 'ave a look at zat vonderful diamond!" Roman spoke in his heavily accented voice. Blair stuck her hand out again and let them admire the ring.

"Where is my future son-in-law? I want to congratulate him!"

"Right here, father." Chuck spoke, appearing behind Roman. Harold pulled Chuck in for a family hug and Chuck pat him on the back in response.

"I'm so happy for you two!" He beamed.

"I love your daughter, so very much." Chuck replied, pulling Blair in by the waist and kissing her on neck. Her eyelids fluttered in response to his touch.

"You give me butterflies." She admitted once her father and Roman had gone off to mingle with other guests. "Oh, really?" He smirked, tracing her jaw line with his lips, leaving a hot, fiery sensation on her skin.

"Get me a drink, will you sweetie?" She asked, trying to distract herself from getting too involved in the moment when they had such a big audience. Chuck let her go to fetch a pair of drinks from the bar.

"Blair..." Nate's voice called from behind her. Why was it that hearing him speak her name gave her a chill up her spine?

"Nate, hi..." She replied, turning around. He had his hands deep in his blazer's pockets. Obviously not looking for a hug after their last encounter. So what did he want this time?

"Can I talk to you privately?" He asked. Blair wanted to say no; she should have; because she knew what he wanted and she knew how much she _wished he didn't_ want it. But her head was clouded with happiness and she doubted very much that Nate wanted to try something, judging by the look of pain on his face; so she nodded and they followed the corridor that lead to Chuck and Serena's bedrooms. It was quiet from all the chatter and music.

"Perhaps Serena's room?" He asked, opening the door. Blair's heartbeat quickened. What if Chuck saw her going into Serena's room with Nate? Would he think she was cheating on him? Why the heck was she doing this?

"No Nate. Just tell me. Please." She stopped before entering. Nate had a pleading look in his eyes.

"I'm not going to try anything. I just need us to be in a private area." He implored. Blair sighed reluctantly followed him into Serena's room.

Nate closed the door carefully and stood at a few metres distance from Blair, giving her some space.

"Look, uh, my actions the other night were unacceptable. I apologise for scaring you if I did, I apologise for coming over uninvited," he began, unable to look her in the eyes. She wasn't saying anything; analysing his words too intently to be able to speak anything.

"I wanted to congratulate you; that was all." He explained as Blair nodded, "...but, I think I still love you." He finally confessed and Blair physically recoiled. What had he just said?

"What?" She asked, begging internally that she had for some random reason imagined what she thought he'd just said. Nate chuckled, embarrassed at himself. Why the heck was he telling her this? What difference would it make?

"I...don't expect anything...I just...wanted you to know...the real reason. And I'm sorry." He apologised, still unable to make eye contact with her. Her mouth was agape. She was definitely dreaming.

"Nate; I'm engaged to Chuck! Why are you telling me this?" She was darn right outraged now. Was he trying to ruin her relationship with Chuck? Was that it?

"I'm sorry. I don't want to ruin anything between you guys! You have no idea how angry I am with myself for still feeling this way!"

"Don't! Nate, you and I have been over for a long time. Our last break up just proved how incompatible we are. I'm sorry, but I love Chuck so much and I don't want to hurt him. I'm going now. I'd like you to stay away from me." Blair stormed out of the room and headed back into the party. Nate followed but at a slower pace.

"Nathaniel." The voice he'd been so unwilling to hear at the present moment, called out to him. Chuck emerged from the shadows and approached him.

"Can we speak a moment?" He asked, too politely. Nate eyed him, unsmiling; but he nodded nonetheless. They went back up the corridor, however, this time into Chuck's room.

"Just one favour, if that's ok." He spoke coolly; Nate didn't move, he simply stared, "Stay the hell away from my fiancée." And then as casually as if they were discussing the weather, he took a sip of his scotch.

"Don't worry, you're fiancée has requested I do the very same," He replied, "I was just apologising...and..." but then he stopped as he realised what he was about to say was neither the time nor the place to make such a confession to his best friend.

"And?" Chuck asked, coaxing the response out of Nate.

"Nothing. It's fine." Nate said, ready to head back to the party when Chuck stopped him.

"You're my best friend, you can tell me anything." Chuck smouldered. Nate exhaled through his nose.

"Telling her I still loved her." And then he closed his eyes, bracing himself for the punch he knew was coming. But instead of acting in violence, Chuck restrained himself. How he longed to punch Nate's pretty face in, but that was un-gentleman-like and Blair would highly disapprove. He decided to come to a compromise.

"I'm not going to beat you down, Nathaniel; but I am going to ask you to leave my Engagement Party. And I am going to ask you to never try and contact Blair again." Chuck whispered. Somehow, the intensity of his whisper made it sound even more threatening than if he'd been shouting it out at him and pointing a gun to his head. Nate nodded and then headed out the door. Chuck followed him. Nate pushed through the crowd of guests and headed towards the elevator shaft. What were the chances that on his way he would accidently bump into Blair?

"Nate, where are you going?" She asked, as he requested for his coat from the closet.

"Leaving. Strict orders." He replied, not quite meeting her eyes.

"Nate, you don't have to leave..."

"Actually I do. And don't worry; you won't ever have to see me again." And once he retrieved his coat, he stepped into the elevator, catching it down to ground level. Blair stared at the place Nate had been standing a second ago, and then out of her peripheral vision, she caught the glare of Chuck Bass. She turned slowly to face him.

"You asked him to leave?"

"And to leave you alone."

"I..." She began but he interrupted.

"You're welcome."

"Chuck, I can't believe you'd do this." Blair replied with a glare. Chuck analysed her facial features which were arranged in an aggravated way.

"It's better this way." And then Blair turned on her heel and for the first time in a long time, she re-evaluated her life.

*

Serena had caught Nate catching the elevator down with his coat on. Why was he leaving so early? She had been looking for an excuse to leave the party; not that it wasn't great and everyone wasn't have a good time rather that she didn't realise how lonely she felt knowing that pretty soon Chuck and Blair would be married, and she would still be alone and very single. She'd always hoped that in due course, Dan would realise he made a mistake breaking up with her so many times and they would eventually declare their undying love in a ceremonious way and then they'd make sweet love and get married and have beautiful babies. But, from her perspective, that was way out of the picture. She trotted down the staircase in her heels and headed for the elevator. When she stepped out, she caught Nate headed out the front door and called out to him before the door closed shut.

"Nate!" He turned around at the sound of his name, and looked somewhat upset to see that it was Serena and not Blair calling after him. She rushed towards him, her dress flapping around her legs and making it all that more difficult to walk with the added height of the heels.

"Why are you leaving?" She asked, bedazzled.

"I was asked to leave." He shrugged.

"By?" She questioned, fuming. How could someone ask Nate to leave from _her_ party that _she _had organised?

"Chuck." He replied and then Serena mouthed an 'oh'.

"Was it about Blair?" She asked.

"She told you?" Serena nodded, feeling extremely guilty.

"I'm headed home before I destroy any more relationships tonight." He explained, turning away, but Serena stopped him.

"Wait, do you want to talk? I think you need to speak to someone." She explained, and he smiled as kindly as he could manage. He didn't feel much like talking.

"Alright." He mumbled as they headed out in the warm summer night.

*

The party ended at around 1am. The cater waiters stayed back to clean up the mess while the residents of the penthouse got themselves ready for bed.

"Good night kids." Lily and Rufus spoke as they disappeared into their bedroom. Dan and Jenny also bade goodnight as they caught the elevator down and headed back to the loft. Then it was just Serena and Chuck.

"Good night Chuck." Serena spoke, headed towards her room where Blair was unexpectedly occupying her bed.

"Blair?" She asked, closing the door behind her. Blair was downtrodden. How long had she been hiding in her room?

"Hey Serena," She spoke without the enthusiasm she had protruded earlier that day, "thanks for the party, and all the effort you went to. I really loved it." She nodded, forcing a smile as she looked up at Serena from her sitting position on the bed, and combed her fingers through her hair.

"That's alright." Serena smiled back, and then a sparkle caught her eye. The dim light of her bed side lamp had caught on and reflected off Blair's diamond engagement ring. She wasn't wearing it.

"Can I ask what's wrong?" She questioned, sitting beside Blair and putting her arm around her.

"You can." She replied.

"What's wrong?" And then a knock on the door silenced both of them.

"Who is it?" Serena asked, not bothering to get up and open the door herself.

"It's me." Chuck's voice declared himself to be. Blair's heartbeat quickened, but not in a good way. She was hoping to delay this conversation for a day or so.

"What do you want?" Serena cried back.

"I'd like to speak with my fiancée, if that's alright." He said in an authorative voice. Why was it when he called her _his fiancée_ now, it sounded more like a prize to be won rather than a life commitment? Serena met Blair's eyes, wondering if she was ok with it, and Blair nodded. She wasn't a coward – she could face Chuck Bass. She stepped off the bed tentatively, slipping into her fluffy slippers. Blair approached the door and stepped out to face him.

"Blair..." He spoke, his voice was soft and remorseful; his eyes drowning in sorrow. He eyed her in her tiny, silky, nightdress and then looked into the chocolate brown depths of her eyes.

"Can we talk?" He asked and Blair nodded lightly, following him in his room. Neither of them spoke to break the silence. They were both too stubborn. They eyed each other, trying to read each other's thoughts, but that proved impossible. Finally Chuck gave up and spoke.

"He told me he still loved you. I'm doing both of you a favour." And Blair didn't look at him.

"By what? Exiling him from our lives? He may be my ex-boyfriend but he's still my friend, Chuck!" Blair finally spoke. Chuck's expression remained unchanged.

"You know his history. He doesn't care who he hurts along the way, as long as he gets what he wants."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean he did it to you with Serena, he did it to Vanessa with you; and I don't doubt soon enough he'll do it to me with you." He explained, using hands gestures to emphasis his point. Blair continued to look down; she knew perfectly well of just how capable Nate was to cheat – he'd done it with all his previous girlfriends, and if she had of broken things off any later, she was sure he'd had found a way to be unfaithful to her. The truth was, Nate was a guy who went after what he wanted and in that way, he was like a bird. He flew from girl to girl at his own will, with no concern of the people he would hurt in the process.

"So you don't trust me? You think I'd cheat on you?" She finally asked, her voice breaking slightly; but she was still too shy to look Chuck in the eye.

"No! I trust you with all my life! It's Nate I don't trust. I don't trust any guy with you; you're too desirable for your own good." Chuck explained and Blair chortled.

"Oh, so that's it? Guys are attracted to me because I manage to look good and that's all?"

"Of course. But they get scared and run away when they find out that under your beauty, there are also brains. You don't know how many guys are afraid of girls who are smarter than them." Chuck approached her as he said this. There was only a few centimetres distance between them at this point; Chuck tentatively cupped Blair's chin and brought it up so she could look at him.

"I'm not going to apologise for asking Nate to stay away." He said firmly but softly. Blair exhaled through her nose.

"You understand, don't you?" He pleaded as she looked away from him again, fighting against his hand which kept her face align with his. She nodded, succumbing to him. He pulled her chin up to his face, expecting to kiss her but she turned away at the last minute.

"Blair..." he breathed,

"I'm staying in Serena's room tonight." She spoke in a barely audible whisper. Tears prickled her eyes and threatened to fall over and run down her cheeks; but she composed herself – she would not shed tears over Nate in front of Chuck Bass.

"Blair, please..." Chuck replied, his face resembled that of a broken man. She wasn't looking at him, but she knew his facial expression off by heart. She'd seen it so many times, when staring into his eyes and willing him to utter the three words that would end all their problems, for a whole year. She broke away from him by softly pushing his hand away from under her chin. She closed her eyes, the tears spilling over, and she walked passed Chuck, out of his room and then back across the hall into Serena's.

*

The next few days were very routine; following a very scheduled pattern that involved the preparation of starting college by getting all the fundamentals in order. Blair returned to her penthouse after that night at the Van der - Bass apartment and Chuck had either been too scared to communicate with her for fear of losing her, or too ashamed of his harsh actions towards Nate and he didn't want to own up to the fact he was wrong. Either one, he had not yet come to apologise, just as he said he wouldn't, and Blair was becoming increasingly irritated.

"Maybe Mr Chuck is thinking of best way to get forgiveness. He always go all out for you, Miss Blair." Dorota suggested, placing a pot of hot tea and a tea cup beside Blair's bed side table. It was the first day of college tomorrow, and Blair was in desperate need of reassurance. She'd imagined herself to be in a completely different mood; come this day, a week ago. For about the fifteenth time in ten minutes, she picked up the NYU introduction booklet and read through it, memorising her timetables, the best way to get to her classes from her dorm room and the entire campus. When she'd gotten her dorm room partner assigned, to say she was utterly shocked was an understatement.

_Dear Miss Blair Waldorf,_ the letter had started off with, _we are pleased to announce that you have been accepted into your desired course at New York University this autumn. _She skimmed through the first few paragraphs that basically dragged out the outline of the course and what would be expected of her. And then she found the third paragraph was dedicated to her dormitory partner assignment. _You have been assigned to dormitory room number 132, and your assigned partner will be Georgina Sparks._ And then it provided a photograph and a biography of Georgina, which she didn't need because she knew exactly who Georgina was. What were the chances that Georgina would not only be granted entry into the same university as Blair, but be assigned to the same dorm room? Blair was so overcome with anger and outrage that she very nearly began crying. Luckily Chuck had been there to comfort her the first few times she read the letter; and she quickly forgot about her problems. But the thought of Chuck brought back the stinging memory of their last talk. She was still upset over the fact he did not trust her or rather, he didn't trust other guys around her. He had her word, and that was all he needed. Blair was not one to cheat, she was a hopeless romantic – always has been, always will be – and not to mention she'd been wretchedly in love with Chuck Bass for over a year now, with an impeccably flawless record of good relationship behaviour; what made him think for one second that she would ever try something with bloody _Nate Archibald._ She pushed away the booklet and then fell back into her bed, covering her face with her hands. Maybe she wouldn't be so intimidated and nervous if she had talked things through with Chuck? But why should _she_ be the one to apologise? It's not like she had anything to apologise for anyway. Chuck did; so why was Chuck not calling her?

"Argh!" She groaned as all these thoughts entered her mind, making her even more stressed out than before, if that was even possible. She stared at the diamond ring on her fourth finger and smiled – trust the ring to brighten up her dull mood. Suddenly she was inspired to call Serena.

"Hello?" Serena asked upon answering her phone.

"Hey S, I need reassurance." Blair spoke. Serena sighed over the phone.

"Blair, you are the smartest and prettiest girl in NYU and you have the best fiancée in the world. You're going to do fine tomorrow. Anything else?"

"Yes, is my fiancée home?" She couldn't help asking.

"He should be. If you wanted to talk to him, you should have called _his_ room."

"No, I don't want to talk to him; not unless he has something to say. And tell him that if knows what's good for him, he'll come over and apologise." She spoke, and Serena chuckled over the phone.

"Oh B, you know how he is; _'I am sorry' _and _'I was wrong'_ are words that do not make up his vocabulary!" They laughed lightly for a moment before Blair heard the elevator arrive at their penthouse and had to hang up.

"Sorry S, I've got to go. Tell Chuck that, won't you?" She asked and Serena agreed and then hung up.

"Tell Chuck what?" Chuck Bass asked appearing behind Blair's bedroom door. So he was her visitor? Really, how quickly can he climb those stairs?

"Well, nothing after this. If what you're here for is to tell me the something I told Serena to tell you to tell me." Blair explained and then realised how much sense her sentence had _not_ made.

"What?" He asked chuckling. Blair cleared her throat. She was still upset at Chuck and laughing so light-heartedly would have to be forced. He composed himself by also clearing his throat and approaching Blair where she sat on the bed.

Who knew after so many months together, he would still make her heart react so quickly?

"I...uh...spoke to Nate," He started; Blair looked up at him.

"And?" He hesitated before he spoke. Blair stood up so she could be level with him.

"Blair...I...I don't trust him!"

"What? What did you say to him?" Blair demanded, but Chuck just looked her, willing for her to be able to read and his mind and see why exactly it was so crucial for Nate to stay away from Blair.

"Well, I told him I was sorry that I'm asking him to stay away, but it's for a good reason!"

"Argh! You're unbelievable Chuck!" Blair cried, throwing her arms in the air, "I can't believe you honestly do not trust me. So what, you're willing to spend the rest of your life with me, share everything with me...but you don't want to trust me?" Blair asked, her voice rising above the average pitch.

"_No! _I trust _you_ but not _him!_" Chuck answered, his tone becoming more outraged. He felt like he was repeating himself over and over again.

"I thought you came over to apologise and tell me you've forgiven Nate."

"Then you thought wrong. I came here to tell you why I can't trust him and why you shouldn't either."

"He's your best friend, Chuck! That should count for something!"

"It doesn't change the fact that he's a player."

"You can't talk." Blair spat back at him and Chuck recoiled as if he'd been slapped.

"What?"

"You slept with me the night Nate and I first broke up. You slept with Vanessa the day after she and Nate broke up. You can't accuse Nate of simply having feelings for me when you couldn't even keep it in your pants. You've betrayed his trust more than he has yours." She quietened down towards the end and then looked down, unable to meet Chuck's eyes for fear of the hurt she would have instilled in him from her words.

"You were just as willing as I was that night. And Vanessa and I were both hurt after you and Nate lied to us." He replied, equally as quiet. Blair looked up, the anger sparked back up again.

"_Lied _to you? We told you both that there was nothing going on between us and at the time, there wasn't!" Chuck exhaled deeply and they were both silent for a while.

"So, what you're saying is, I should be ok with the fact my fiancée _wants_ to see her ex-boyfriend; because I trust her?"

"I'm saying that I broke up with Nate to be with you, Chuck. I have loved you for over a year now; doesn't that count for anything?" She asked him back, closing the gap between them that felt oddly threatening. She placed both hands on either side of his face, and brought his face up so that his eyes were looking right in hers. She had a strange sense of déjà vu as she did this; almost 3 months ago, when she had summed up the courage to tell Chuck once and for all that she loved him, and that if he felt the same way, he should tell her back and claim her. The last time she did this, she had been rejected, again. Chuck had run away just like he had the first time – and she was left alone in the room, allowing no more than one tear to be shed. She took a deep breath before beginning.

"Charles Bartholomew Bass; I love you so much, it consumes me. I have loved you for over a year and I have just agreed to become your wife. I don't know how much more evidence of my love for you, you need. If you trust me, like you say you do, you'll let me see Nate; you won't feel like you have to have control over every situation," Blair spoke, Chuck's eyes were sad in the brown depths of his iris.

"I'm sorry." He said; and exactly the same way as the last time, he took both of Blair's hands and pulled them away from his face.

"Maybe if you weren't so defensive about me asking him to stay away, then I'd believe everything you just said." He said softly and then left the room. The words hit Blair like a giant wave; she was suddenly drowning in a sea of despair – had Chuck honestly just said what she thought he'd just said? Was he really implying the fact that she may too have feelings for Nate? Had he taken in _anything_ she just told him? She crumbled down to the floor; shaking uncontrollably. What did this mean? Should she go running after him? It shouldn't have to be that way every time – it was Chuck's own doing that brought this upon them; it wasn't up to her to fix his wrongs. What part of _I love _you didn't he understand?


	5. Chapter 5

_**Pretty quick with the next chapter, eh? I should really keep you more in suspense. Too bad I don't have a life. Haha.**_

_**

* * *

**_

Chuck stepped out of the Waldorf elevator with a heavy heart. What had he done? It was as if his mind had somehow escaped his body and it was floating above him, watching the situation from above – like an out of body experience. What he wanted to say was '_Of course I believe you, and I love you too, so much. I trust you with the whole world and I don't ever want to fight with you ever again.'_ That's what his heart wanted to say, but was his mouth said was a little bit in the opposite direction, '_Maybe if you weren't so defensive about me asking him to stay away, then I'd believe everything you just said.' _His anger with the whole situation blowing up completely out of proportion had overcome him and he could hardly think straight. The only thing keeping him composed was the knowledge that Blair loved him and he never wanted to do anything to hurt her and or scare her. So what had he had done? He'd gone right ahead and did just that. If she was hurting before, she was hurting even more now; and she had her son of a bitch fiancé, Chuck Bass, to thank for it. A real man would go back up there, cradle her, comfort her, and whisper sorry in her ear, tell her he trusted her and then spend the rest of the night making love to her. But he wasn't a real man; what a poor and pathetic excuse for a CEO of one of the most successful companies in the world!

He leaned against the wall of the building outside; the crispy warm breeze felt incredibly hot and uncomfortable. He put his head in his hands and cringed. Suddenly, he felt a tear spill over his closed eyes and into his palm. Chuck Bass was _crying._ He had totally and royally screwed things over with the love of his life. Would she take him back now? He was too much of a coward to go back up to see her. He stepped into the limo that was parked in front of the penthouse, waiting for him.

"Take me to Victrola." He spoke gruffly; and the chauffeur did just as he was asked.

*

Autumn was making itself known, Dan had assumed when he awoke to a contrastingly colder day than the previous one. It was 7AM on his first day of college. Adrenalin coursed through his veins and he found himself incoherent. Why was he so scared? It's not like he didn't attend the orientation days to get a taste of the college life, but somehow the label of this being his first official day of university made it that much more dreadful.

"Morning Humphrey." Vanessa greeted Dan as he exited his room and headed towards the bathroom. She was sitting at the dining table with today's newspaper; looking very calm and collected in a summery dress with black leggings and gladiator heels. She had made a pot of coffee and helped herself to some cereal she found in the pantry.

"...morning..." Dan grumbled, his voice heavily coated in sleep. He slammed the door behind him and turned on the shower instantaneously. Just then, Jenny entered the dining area from her bedroom.

"Oh, hi Vanessa!" She smiled, placing the cherished, diamond headband on top of her head. She was Queen Bee now, and this was the only headband allowed from now on.

"Hello Jenny. Would you like some coffee?" She gestured towards the pot as Jenny nodded and greedily poured herself a cup.

"I need some caffeine. I'm totally freaking out about the first day of school." She explained, taking a massive gulp.

"Shouldn't be that bad, I hear you're ruling the school now. Why are you leaving so early?"

"The car's here...I'm going to Lily's and then Eric and I are going to school together." And with that, she downed the remainder of her coffee and ambled towards the front door.

Dan emerged out of the steam filled bathroom half an hour later. It seemed his fears and anxieties had been washed away during his shower.

"No more Mr Bad Mood?" Vanessa asked as he towel-dried his hair.

"Sorry about that." He replied and she raised her hand indicated no harm done.

"Now come on, we don't want to be late!" She smiled excitedly. Dan rolled his eyes playfully and then grabbed his shoulder bag which he had spent the whole of last night preparing for this morning, as he followed Vanessa out the front door to start their new lives as university students.

*

The elevator rang and Jenny stepped out into the foyer, her new Manolo's clicking as she made her way across the tiles and into the kitchen area. Lily was sitting at the table, flicking through _The New Yorker_ while Rufus was making his trademark waffles.

"Morning, Jen." He smiled, waving at her with a spatula. Lily looked up from the newspaper, her glasses half way down her nose, smiled warmly at Jenny and then went back to reading.

"Morning Dad; Lily. Is Eric up yet, or do I have to drag him out of bed?" Jenny asked, placing her _Louis Vuitton_ handbag on the arm of one of the chairs at the table.

"You know what, sweetheart; I think he's showering at the moment." Lily replied, not looking up from her newspaper.

"How's Serena? Is she scared about starting college today?" Jenny asked coolly, trying to make some conversation.

"Ivy League schools start next week. And she spent the night at Blair's."

"Oh ok. What did Chuck do?"

"He never came home last night. But I think he spent the night at The Palace." Jenny just nodded, effectively rendering the conversation dead. She wandered over to Rufus; the smell of waffles filling her lungs.

"You wouldn't happen to have any of those left over, would you dad?" Jenny asked, wafting the smell and relishing it.

"Sure do, honey. Just grab a plate and I'll throw some on for you." Jenny fetched herself a plate and some clean cutlery and then Rufus piled on two large waffles for her while she coated them in maple syrup.

"Jenny!" Eric cried, appearing out from behind the corner. He was cleanly shaven and dressed impeccably in his St Jude's school uniform.

"Hey Eric. Come get some waffles."

"I was planning on it."

*

"Come on B! It's time to get up!" Serena called, stroking Blair's brown hair. She was well aware that Blair was not asleep; however Blair was not responding, opting to spend the day depressed in bed rather than face her problems head on.

"No, I don't think it is."

"Blair, it's 7.30! Classes start at 9!" Serena persisted; though she didn't have any herself. Every since her stint in jail last year, which had earned her a front page in several newspapers and a blast from Gossip Girl, Brown had retracted her acceptance; deeming her behaviour unacceptable and 'not-Brown-material'. But she wasn't too cut up about it; she had other business to attend to – like the search for her father with Carter Baizen.

"So?" Blair cried, her voice muffled by her pillow.

"So?! So, you don't want to turn up un-showered and unkempt for your first day of college! What will people think of you!" She replied and Blair did not respond.

Dorota came in with a tray and Serena gestured towards the desk and then mouthed that this was not pretty and she should leave while she can.

"My life is over!"

"Blair, it hasn't even begun!"

"That's even more depressing! My life has ended before it even began."

Serena sighed out loud and continued to stroke Blair's hair, pouring her a cup of hot tea with her free hand simultaneously.

"Have you called him?"

"Why should I have to be the one to call? He's the man, he should do the talking."

"Do you want me to call him then?"

"No! It's going to look like I'm a coward and can't face him myself."

"Or it's going to look like I'm the best friend and the best sister in the world and I care too much about the people I love, to see them waste away their lives in depression."

"Of course you'd make this about you."

"Blair! I'm trying to help." Serena cried, becoming increasingly agitated, but she managed to compose herself before she lost her cool. She would not get mad at Blair; Blair was upset and needed her best friend to be there for her.

"Have some tea. I'll get some clothes ready for you and I'll get Dorota to get all your books ready. When I get back, I want you to be in the bathroom, ready to take a shower. Alright?" Serena didn't wait to hear Blair's answer; rather she stood up off the bed and then headed downstairs to give Dorota her orders. Then she returned to Blair's bedroom and opened up the doors to her enormous walk-in-closet. She pulled out the first things she saw – a black _Dolce&Gabbana _Scoopneck sweater and a stretch satin pencil skirt. She threw the clothes over her arm and then scrambled across the carpeted floor in the closet towards the shoe rack; grabbing the first pair of black platform pumps she could find.

"Shoes, skirt, top...handbag..." Serena slowly counted and then headed towards the double doors that opened up to yet another room dedicated purely to Blair's overflowing collection of handbags. _Dior, Kate Spade, Bottega Veneta, Burwood, Fendi, Chloe..._it was full of only the best labels. After much consideration, she opted for the _Salvatore Ferragamo _flat metallic tote bag as it went well with the colour of the skirt and was large enough to fit most of her books and necessities.

"Here!" She chuffed as she made her way out of the closet and back into Blair's room.

"I hope you're in the bathroom!" She called when she couldn't see Blair in her bed anymore. Suddenly Blair turned the tap on and the water shot out; the noise of it rebounding as it hit the shower wall reverberated throughout the entire bathroom.

"Good! Can I go home now?" Serena called over the noise of the shower. Blair opened the door lightly and poked her out.

"Thank you S, for staying with me. I'm sorry for being such a bitch. You can go home now." She smiled and Serena nodded; grabbing her handbag and leaving the Waldorf apartment.

*

When she was safely out of Blair's earshot, out on the street; she pulled out her phone and dialled Chuck's number. As expected, it went straight to his voicemail.

"Leave me a message. I _might_ hear it." Was his greeting.

"Chuck, I need to speak to you. Please call me back." She spoke and then snapped her phone shut. As if on cue, her phone rang immediately after she'd thrown it into her handbag. She groaned and then opened her bag up so she could search through all her crap to find it again. When she finally did, the caller ID was not Chuck's.

"Carter!"

"Serena, hey. When are you flying out?" He asked.

"At the end of the week. Mom still thinks I'm off to Brown."

"Can you fly out any earlier?"

"Why, what's wrong?"

"Keith van der Woodsen is on the run again." Serena had a quick intake of breath, but then she calmed down her breathing rate again.

"Alright, alright. I might be able to fly out on Tuesday. Keep an eye on him...and keep me up-to-date. See you, Carter." And Serena snapped her phone shut for the second time, but keeping it in her hands.

Her mind raced. What could her father be on the run from? Every time she and Carter got close to him, he'd disappear to somewhere else. First it was Fiji, and then it was Dubai, and now it was the Caribbean. So her father had a taste for exotic places? That was all she knew about him. Right now, Carter was sitting in a hotel in Saint Lucia, an island in the Caribbean; waiting for Serena while spying on her father.

She didn't have any memories of him; at least proper ones. There were photos of him and her mother when she was a toddler; but Lily was very hesitant to ever discuss him in full detail. _"He was once a kind man" _and _"We had fun when we were kids"_ were the only bits of information she ever gave out.

With her phone still in her hand, she flipped it back open and called the airport, booking herself a flight from New York to Saint Lucia tomorrow night.

"Ok, thank you very much." She replied to the flight assistant over the phone and then hailed a taxi to catch it home.

*

"Have fun on your first day back!" Rufus and Lily cried as they wished their respective children luck as they endeavoured onto their Junior Year of high school. Jenny and Eric waved goodbye and stepped into the elevator as it arrived, fully packaged with a Serena van der Woodsen.

"Hey Serena." They greeted in unison as they took her place in the elevator and she stepped out.

"Hey guys."

"See you!" And then Serena rounded the corner to face her mother.

"Oh, nice to see you again, Serena!" Lily greeted sarcastically.

"Yeah...uh, mom, I've decided I'm going to fly out to...Brown...a bit early; tomorrow night in fact." Serena explained while Lily just stared into her dark blue eyes, unbelievingly.

"So early? You still have a week!"

"I know...but Blair's moving into college today...Chuck is, well, not that much fun...I don't really have anything else to do in New York. I want to get settled in early." Serena explained, surprised at how easily she was able to lie straight to her mother's face and at how convincing she sounded. Lily nodded thoughtfully.

"I see. Are you packed? Do you need to book a flight?"

"Already booked one! And I'm planning on packing right now."

"Ok Serena. Rufus and I are going shopping; Chuck hasn't been home but I think he's at The Palace...and that's it. We'll see you later." She kissed Serena on the cheek; an act which required the standing of her on her tiptoes as Serena was monstrously tall even without the added height of her heels; and then she and Rufus left.

*

"I can't do this." Blair Waldorf cried, swallowing hard, as she stared up the front entrance to the university. The cold, hard steps and gloomy bricked over entrance looked awfully uninviting to Blair.

"Come on, Miss Blair. Yes you can." Dorota reassured. Blair took a deep breath and closed her eyes. Then she exhaled through her nose and opened her eyes again. She didn't feel much better at all.

"Will you help me?" She asked, meekly.

"Of course! Let's go." Dorota tugged Blair's suitcase along behind her as she followed Blair up the front steps. They entered the Student Services Centre on East 4th St where they were greeted unexpectedly by Dan Humphrey and Vanessa.

"Oh, look who just got here." Vanessa whispered under her breath, only loud enough for Dan to hear. He turned his head to spot this person and saw Blair Waldorf; as usual overdressed; sporting her maid who waited on her every need. He chuckled lightly to himself, "Great" he let out in exasperation.

Blair whipped her head around, clearly out of her comfort zone. She spotted a raven-haired, who had a very close resemblance to the Brooklyn girl she so loathed; and then was completely convinced it was her when she noticed Dan Humphrey sitting beside her, trying to hide his face.

"Let's go Dorota." She spoke and then they marched off towards the dorms to get settled in.

At the same time, Dan and Vanessa picked up their books and decided to head on to class.

"I've got Film Studies first, way on the other side of campus." Vanessa began, looking through her timetable.

"I have Literature. I'll meet you out the front for lunch." They parted and headed their separate ways; Vanessa headed towards the exit while Dan followed a flight of stairs to the second level. It felt very much like high school, only there was no social status, no It Girls or Mean Girls that dominated the social ladder. High school was like a fish tank full of sharks, but now that he was in college, it was very calm and relaxing. The aforementioned feeling of anxiety and fear was no longer there; he felt very excited to be heading off to class now. He followed a group of people that all seemed to be headed in the same direction as him; passing cabinets full off photographs of famous alumni, sports banners, certificates, etc. He couldn't wait til he was a famous journalist or author and had his own name mentioned up there among the hall of fame, '_Dan Humphrey of Brooklyn..._'

Finally he got to the lecture room which was simply name 'Lecture Room 6' which was quite large, with about 10 rows of seats all ascending in height the further away they were. Half the seats were filled up and the room was buzzing with chatter and excitement for the first lecture of the day. Set on the podium was a table with stacks upon stacks of handouts piled upon it, and a whiteboard. Dan turned to find himself a seat in one of the rows. The third row had only two other people sitting in it, and they were way at the other end of the room. He settled himself into the aisle seat, taking off his shoulder bag to occupy the seat beside him, and pulling out a brand new notebook and a pen. Eagerly, he checked his watch for the time: 8.48AM. _Hurry up_. He thought to himself; before too long he would begin feeling anxious again and then he'd be running out the door before he could even stop himself.

"Is this seat taken?" A melodic voice asked. He turned his head to see greenest eyes he had ever seen; deep-set into a very beautiful looking face. Her long blonde hair framed her pretty face very nicely, and he was suddenly reminded of Serena – a Serena with green eyes.

"Uh...n-no...you can take it..." He stuttered, bewildered by the colour of her eyes; they seemed to emit a glow against the tanned complexion of her skin.

"I'm Dan." He greeted, holding out his hand for a handshake. She stared at his hand and then into his face, expressionless. Finally she cracked a tiny smile, but made no movement to reciprocate his action by extending out her arm.

"Hi Dan." Was all she said, and they didn't speak again.

*

Chuck lay on the bed in his own personal suite in The Palace Hotel; with no particular desire to move or change out of his pyjamas. He was just a little depressed. In a week, he had gone from having the most perfect of happy relationships with the most amazing girl on the planet; to screwing it all up. Actually it was Nate's fault, for being in love with the wrong girl. No; as much as he wanted to, he would not blame Nate; because although Nate was unable to control his raging hormones, Chuck was able to control the way he went about the situation. He shouldn't have banned Nate from seeing Blair, he should have punched him in the face at the engagement party, and then they could have apologised to each other and gotten over this obstacle in their lives. Was it too late now? He was a coward for not going back to Blair last night; he was too scared she'd reject him.

He moved his head to the side to catch a glimpse of his watch that was resting on the bedside table. It was 12, and by the amount of the light coming through the windows, it quite obvious that it was in the afternoon. What a waste of a day. Blair would have already moved into her dorm at NYU. He told her he'd be there for her when she moved in; she'd been so anxious about the whole move. What a dickhead. He couldn't even keep his promise. He didn't deserve her.

Reluctantly, he sat up; receiving a massive head rush as he did. _Better call Nathaniel_. He thought. It was time to be a man and fix this. He would not lose Blair.

He grabbed his phone; it flashed one missed called from Serena; she'd just have to wait...he had other things on his mind. He held down the number 2 on his phone – ever since Blair became his number 1 priority in his life, she had also taken the first spot in his speed dial – Nate was now officially his second priority in life. Two rings later, he answered.

"Nathaniel, I need to speak to you."

"Give it a rest Chuck, I'm staying away from both of you."

"No, this isn't about – ok, well it is – I'm not going to accuse you or anything...rule you out of our lives...I just need to speak with you face to face."

There was a long pause that was filled only with their measured breathing. Finally Nate spoke up.

"Alright. I'm on my way to your place."

"Stop by my suite at The Palace."

"Ok."

And then Chuck hung up and approached his bar to make himself a Bloody Mary.

*

Nate arrived a mere 15 minutes later. The traffic, Chuck assumed, had probably been terrible; Nate would have made it quicker walking. He knocked steadily on the door of 1812 and Chuck answered it.

"Want a drink?" He asked, gesturing towards the bar. Nate stood his ground. He didn't reply; he simply held his hands in fists in his pockets.

"Alright then, no drink."

"Just say what you want to say, Chuck, and be done with it." Nate spoke firmly. Chuck straightened his posture, but the fact that he was wearing only pyjamas, a dressing gown and slippers did not make him look very authorative.

"I'm sorry that I asked you to stay away from Blair." He began, trying to keep his voice steady as this went against everything he believed. He was _not_ sorry, but he did not want this to create a wedge between them and he was willing to do anything to get Blair back.

"I was being harsh and unfair." Nate didn't nod or speak. The tension in the air was so thick you could cut through it with a knife.

"You're my best friend; you're her friend – I don't want to ruin those friendships." That was true, as twisted and warped everything may seem, they were still best friends; that would hopefully never change.

"Me neither." Nate replied. Neither of them were able to meet each other's gaze – sharing feelings were not their specialities.

"I trust her. I want to be able to trust you too."

"Man, I'd never do anything like that to you."

"Really?"

"Yes!"

And then it was silent again. Nate shuffled his feet to make some noise.

"Ok. I trust you." Chuck cracked a smile; and Nate reciprocated. Nate held his hand out for a mutual agreement, and Chuck shook it, but then pulled him in for a hug.

"Chuck, I don't want to screw up our friendship. Plus, I know Blair's in love with you."

"Not so sure anymore."

"Go talk to her."

"Planning on it."

"You should plan on taking a shower first, though." And then they laughed.

*

"Blair! I am so excited to be your roommate for this year. We're going to have so much fun!" Georgina Sparks cried excitedly when Blair and Dorota had arrived at the dorm.

"Georgina Sparks, listen to me. Just because we share a bathroom does not mean that we are in anyway friends or affiliated. You are merely an acquaintance. I'd prefer it if we kept the conversation between us this year minimal if not completely non-existent. I will act as I don't know you, and you will do the same for me."

"But Blair, I thought that we could maybe become friends, now that we have all this time to get to know each other! You know, I really wanted to be friends with you; it's too bad so many things got in the way of that."

"Drug addictions, rehab, ruining Serena's life, reformatory school..." Blair reminisced. Georgina just smiled menacingly.

"Well, I'd better head down to my first class. See you, roomie." And then she clicked her way out of the dorm room. Blair wanted to scream.

"Is ok Miss Blair, I will always be here for you." Dorota spoke, stroking Blair's hair.

"Get my things in my room and then bring me some coffee. I need to calm my nerves." Blair spoke, hyperventilating just a little. What was Georgina up to this time? She needed help, but the one person who could offer it was not on speaking terms with her. Dorota was changing sheets and fluffing Blair's pillow while emptying out her suitcase and hanging her clothes in the closet; and she did this very efficiently. After that, she quickly exited the dorm only to return a few minutes later with a long black from Starbucks.

Blair sipped it and immediately felt relieved as she felt the coffee travel down her throat and warm her insides. For a few moments, she was calm, until she remembered how depressed she had been earlier.

"Miss Blair, your first class start in 5 minutes!" Dorota said as she was sticking up Blair's timetable on the bedroom door. Blair was taken aback and immediately tried to snap out of her comatosed state. She downed the rest of her coffee, burning her tongue in the process and then grabbed her books for her first class which was Politics.


	6. Chapter 6

"Vanessa!" A voice which did not sound like Dan Humphrey's, called out to her. Vanessa, who was sitting on a park bench, waiting for Dan to arrive so they could go on their lunch date together; turned her head around to see the source of the voice. Brown, messy hair and teeth that glowed with their pearly whiteness; it was none other than _Scott_.

"Hey Scott! How're you doing?"

"Not too bad. Enjoyed your first class?" He spoke as he took a seat beside her.

"It was great. Very different from what I'm used to though."

"Used to?"

"Yeah, I was homeschooled."

"Oh; that's interesting..." Vanessa eyed his expression which looked more sarcastic than intrigued.

"I'm not a freak!" She laughed, "It's not like I've never interacted with people before. It's just _different_." And when Scott snorted instead of agreeing, she punched him in the arm.

"Hey, that hurt!"

"She gives a mean punch." Dan spoke, and the sound of his voice brought them both back to reality.

"Oh good! You're here. Sorry Scott, I've got a lunch date." Vanessa said, standing up to head off with Dan.

"Scott? That's right, I remember you now! She has not shut up about you." Dan giggled and Scott threw Vanessa a suggestive look.

"Dan, stop talking."

"Would you like to join us? I'd like to get to know you." Dan invited, ignoring Vanessa as she whispered threats into his ear.

"Thanks. I'd love to." Scott smiled as Vanessa's faltered. The guys immediately became wrapped up in a conversation about classes and good looking girls in their classes while Vanessa was left to trudge along behind them all alone.

*

Chuck flipped up his wrist so he could check the time: 7.45PM. It was late enough that Blair wouldn't have any classes on, and early enough that if she was planning on going out anywhere tonight, she'd still be getting ready. The limo driver pulled up in front of the Dorm entrance at NYU and Chuck stepped out. People watched and admired him and his limo as he made his way up to the entrance – clearly revelling in the fact they were in the presence of the richest teenager in America and wondering what the hell he was doing on this side of town. He pushed open the two front doors which lead to a corridor much like any other dorm corridor. _What was her room number again? 123? 133? _He couldn't quite remember and thought of ringing the Student Services office to make sure, but then wondered if they were allowed to give out that kind of information. Surely they would if they knew it was Chuck Bass inquiring. Nonetheless, he travelled down the corridor and just counted the doors as they went by; even numbers on the left and odd numbers on the right. Girls who walked past gawked at the sight of him and guys flared up in jealousy. He ignored both of them. Suddenly a voice startled him, "Chuck Bass?" she asked gently. It was not Blair, but it was oddly familiar.

"Georgie?" He asked when he caught sight of her at the end of the corridor. She was wearing a very short dress with the highest boots he'd ever seen. If this were an alternate universe, he'd had found this very appealing, but somehow the fact Georgina Sparks were wearing this only made him more repulsed.

"What are you doing here? Looking for me?" She asked twirling her hair in her slender fingers. The corners of her mouth pulled up into a cheeky smile. Chuck just stared at her.

"Keep dreaming. I'm looking for Blair." He assured her, waiting for her smile to fade and the rivalry to spark up in her eyes, but she showed no sign of either happening. She continued to smile.

"She's my roommate."

"I know."

"We can walk to my room together..."

"Just tell me what number your room is. I think I can find it myself." He spoke, closing his eyes in order to keep his cool.

"This way." And Georgina turned on her heel and walked in front of Chuck, all the more for him to get a better sight of her butt. They rounded a corner and then finally got to Room 132. _That's right!_ Chuck thought as he remembered the room number Blair had begged him to memorise. He felt a pang of guilt for forgetting.

Georgina held the door open and Chuck walked in. It was a very small entrance that had three doors, one on the left that led to Georgie's bedroom, one directly in front of him that led to the bathroom they shared, and finally one on the right that led to Blair's bedroom.

"I don't know where she is." Georgina spoke as she entered her bedroom, leaving Chuck by himself in the entrance. He wandered over to Blair's room; opening the door carefully so as not to startle her if she was in it. His heart reacted in a way that confused him. Why was he so anxious to meet her gaze? He peeked into the room, but Blair was not in it. He decided to left himself in. It was a small room, especially for Blair, he thought idly as he took in the contents of the room. He recognised the bed sheets and covers immediately – Egyptian Cotton Bed Linen – Blair only slept in style. Her books were piled up on the desk beside her bed and she had her notebook and a pen out; Chuck recognised the neat, cursive font that was her handwriting. Her cup of tea was still steaming so obviously she had been in here mere moments ago. Where was she now? He sat down on her chair and waited for her arrive.

*

Blair was sitting at the bar on East 43rd St, where she had just ordered her third martini. She held the stem firmly between her fingers, staring into the glass and the upside down reflections the liquid made. She was on the verge of tears; and she was in no condition to complete her first assignment tonight. She needed something stronger than tea, so she caught the first taxi; telling the cab driver to drop her anywhere that served strong alcoholic beverages. How was she expected to write 4000 words on the Legislature of American Politics when all she could think about was how Chuck Bass had _still_ not come to her and apologised? Everything was horrible and she wanted to forget all about her problems. She'd sent Dorota home because she didn't want the poor woman to be deprived of a life; and then thought about how much she wanted to go home. She didn't exactly _have_ to move into a dormitory since she really only lived on the other side of town; but it was just standard that she did. Also, the traffic in the city was like hell in the morning and she'd rather sleep in than have to wake up extra early. She brought the martini glass up to her lips and drank it all down quickly; leaving the olive till last.

"Hey darling." A man spoke, taking a seat next to her. She very slowly moved her head to take a look at him. He was not familiar; she did not know who he was.

"Hi." She replied coldly.

"You're looking a bit down. Can I buy you another drink?" He proposed. She looked at him again, taking in his appearance. Nice suit – Armani; with a Calvin Klein watch and nice Italian shoes. He had very short black hair which she imagined was very soft if she were to pat it; and he had scruffy stubble. Apparently it was meant to make girls swoon – but it did nothing to Blair.

"If you want." She finally replied, deciding he was probably not worth her time, but she'd at least get a drink out of him.

"Another martini for the lady." He told the bartender who eyed Blair suspiciously. She glared at him with evil eyes and then he promptly made her another martini.

"Eric Bronfman." He introduced himself, holding his hand out to Blair. She perked up at the sound of his name and then slowly turned her body around to face him properly. She shook his hand and then finally cracked a smile.

"Blair Waldorf." He took both of her hands in his bigger hands and then brought them up to kiss them both tenderly. The light from the bar glinted off her Tiffany ring, very nearly blinding her. She was suddenly reminded of the promise she had made Chuck when she agreed to marry him – a life commitment; that did not include infidelity or unfaithfulness. He may not have grown the balls to apologise to her yet, but he still loved her, right? And she loved him. This was just a rough patch they were going through and when they finally get through it, they will be stronger than ever. The day seemed like a waste, the entirety of it being spent in depression about her relationship; when it was quite obvious when you broke it down: Blair and Chuck are meant to be together. She swallowed hard and pulled her hand away before he was able to kiss it.

"I'm sorry. I've got to go." She didn't even get to take a sip of her martini before she grabbed her purse and rushed out of the bar. She hailed down a cab and told it to go to NYU. It was a long and slow ride home – New York was, after all, the city that never sleeps and the traffic was terrible any time of the day or night – and it was only made more restless as Blair anticipated her arrival back to her dorm. She needed to get changed and fix up her hair and makeup before she saw Chuck again. What if he wasn't home? Actually, now that she thought about it, he probably wasn't. He was most likely out at Victrola, or, heaven forbid, out of the country. But would he really just leave like that, without even telling her? They were still engaged, despite everything that's happened – and she had every right to be informed.

The traffic light up ahead had turned yellow and the taxi was at least 50 metres from the intersection. Instead of slowing down as it was quite obviously _not_ going to make it, it sped up.

"Are you crazy?!" Blair cried at the taxi driver who was of Middle Eastern decent and was probably ill-informed of the road rules in America. He didn't reply, instead he floored it and the engine revved even louder. Despite the speed at which they were going, it all happened very slowly, almost as if everything were going in slow motion. The traffic light turned red before they even made it to the intersection; but by then, the car had been travelling way too fast. Unable to slow down in time but terrified of going further; the taxi driver hit the brake and then turned the vehicle right so that the tires would cause enough friction to hopefully stop in time. But they were out of time. The taxi landed in the middle of the intersection. At this point Blair was unable to speak and unable to breath. The only thing that she could see were the headlights of the cars that were fast approaching the taxi and the only thing she could think about was how she'd never get to see or tell Chuck Bass she loved him ever again.

There were the loud, deafening sounds of tires screeching and car horns blaring; and then there was complete silence and it was all black.

***


	7. Chapter 7

_**Internet is being very annoying at the moment by deciding to run at dial-up speed so I've been avoiding the computer at all costs coz it pisses me off! Also, I was quite busy...had exams and whatnot...so it took a while. Anyways, here is chapter 7!**_

* * *

Serena got the call from the hospital about 15 minutes later.

"What do you mean _she's been in an accident?!_ She's ok, right?!" She all but screamed into the phone. The nurse on the phone was being very uninformative, giving out little information and detail about the extent of Blair's injuries.

"I'm coming down!" She yelled, but the nurse kept on telling her visiting hours were over, "I don't care! I'll wait all night if I have to!" And then she hung up. Immediately she dialled Chuck's number while she frantically searched for a handbag to take with her and some flats.

"What is it, Serena?" He asked, his tone was a little aggravated; but Serena had no time to put up with his crap at the moment.

"There's been an accident! Blair's in hospital!" She cried, the words coming out too quickly.

"What?" Chuck asked, horrified. Just then the elevator arrived and he stepped out. He hung up and all but ran to Serena's room.

"We have to go!" She cried and he didn't even think twice about it. They headed down towards ground level and stepped into the first limo they could see. It headed straight for New York Presbyterian Hospital. Serena felt sick to stomach and thus did not speak to Chuck the entire ride there. Chuck was at a loss for words and emotion; he couldn't comprehend a world without Blair Waldorf. When he imagined losing her; he didn't even think it could be _this_ way.

The limo arrived promptly and they both stepped out quickly. They rushed through the front entrance and to front reception office.

"We're visitors for Blair Waldorf." Serena spoke; her breathing was uneven. The nurse behind the desk flipped through her book and then found Blair's name under the patients section.

"I'm sorry, but visiting hours are over."

"I don't give a damn. I want to see her." Chuck protested. He smashed his fist into the counter, and the nurse jumped in her seat from the shock.

"W-well...um...she's undergoing surgery at the moment...you can't see her."

"What room is she in?" Serena egged on. The nurse took a deep breath to calm her nerves. It was obvious she would get in trouble if she let them go up, but the look in Chuck's eyes told her that if she didn't tell them now, she'd be in even _more_ trouble later.

"Ok, ok. She's on the third floor in Room 132." She said, gesturing towards the ceiling. Serena and Chuck took off without so much as a thankyou and took the first elevator that was available. Room 132; Chuck was in such a state of shock, he couldn't even find the irony in the situation. The elevator took _too_ long to get up to the third floor. They ran out as soon as the doors were wide enough for them to pass through and they struggled very much to stop themselves from breaking into a run down the corridors – the doctors and signs kept telling them to slow down and that you shouldn't run in a hospital. Finally they got to Room 132, where there was a sign on the door that labelled the room as belonging to Blair Waldorf. Chuck felt as if someone had plunged a rusty knife into his stomach and was twisting around his insides.

"Excuse me, doctor." He said, grabbing hold of the arm of the doctor who was in the process of leaving Blair's room.

"How is she?" He pleaded. The doctor looked into Chuck's eyes and then to Serena's.

"Um, Miss Waldorf is in surgery right now. She's been very badly hurt." Was all he said; and then he began to head off, but Chuck grabbed his arm again.

"There is no way in hell you are walking off without telling me everything you know." His voice broke on the last word as he tried very hard not to break down in tears. The doctor sighed. He was not going to win against Chuck Bass.

"Mr Bass; Miss Waldorf was in a car accident. She has a collapsed lung and a lot of broken bones – particularly the ribs – and she's sustained a blow to her head. We're unsure how serious the damage is; she's fallen into a coma and we're repairing her lung now. It will take a while. I suggest you go home and get some sleep." Chuck snorted but there was no humour in his tone.

"There's no way I'll be able to sleep." He spoke coldly. The doctor gave him a sympathetic look and then walked off down the corridor. Chuck fell into the armchair opposite Blair's room and threw his face into his hands. Serena approached him and put her hand comfortingly on his shoulder. It was very silent in the whole corridor except for the light hum on the water fountain beside Chuck and the distant mumbling of the TV that was running in the waiting room.

The hours passed; 10PM, 11PM, 12PM. Blair had been in surgery for more than 5 hours and Chuck was very restless.

"Look, maybe we should talk to another doctor? Maybe they could tell us how she's going?" Serena asked as she paced back and forth down the corridor.

"They'll tell us the same thing. Blair's in surgery. No visitors. Assholes." He exasperated, throwing his head back and resting it against the wall.

"I have to call Carter..." Serena spoke quietly to herself. She was in a royal mess now – Blair, or her father? Unlike her father, Blair had been there for Serena for everything; from knee scrapes to confessing to murder. Blair was her best friend through thick and thin – but what her father ever done for her? Apart from a college trust fund which was useless now as she had no college to go to, and providing 50% of his DNA, he gave her nothing.

"Baizen? What affiliation do you have with that jerk? I'm telling you, Serena, if you get yourself into any trouble with that moron I will not help you." Chuck spoke, slowly moving his eyes so that he could meet Serena's.

"N-nothing, I just..."

"What is it?"

Serena exhaled. He'd find out sooner or later, she guessed; might as well tell him now.

"I-I'm not going to Brown..." she began, looking down at the linoleum floor, "I'm going to search for my father." She looked up to see his reaction. He simply stared at her.

"Your father?"

She nodded.

"Why?"

"Because, I'd like to meet him." She answered. It was the truth. He may have abandoned her family, but he was still a part of her. She ought to know about where she came from.

"And Baizen's helping you?"

"Yes."

Chuck nodded slowly, comprehensively.

"Well be careful. I don't trust the guy."

"You don't trust a lot of people."

Chuck didn't respond, instead he asked a question of his own, "When are you leaving?"

"I'm supposed to be leaving tonight...but I'm not so sure now. I can't be out of the country while Blair's in hospital." They were silent for a while, before Serena excused herself to go make her call outside.

Just as she left, Chuck heard the wheeling of the gurney as it was being led out of the surgery room and into Blair's room. His heart rate immediately picked up and he stood up to greet the doctors. When they caught sight of him, they sighed.

"Mr Bass; go home. She's not even conscious."

"How is she?" Chuck was firm. The doctor clung to his clipboard and fixed his glasses.

"We were able to repair her lung, though she needs some support. She has five fractured ribs on the left and her skull is cracked. We want to take an fMRI scan later on to see the damage to her skull and if there's any abnormalities to the structure of her brain." He explained. Chuck glared at his negligence for the entire situation.

"What are you saying? She might have brain damage?"

"Well, luckily she was sitting on the right side of the car, as far away from the side of the taxi that was hit as she could be; but she was still hit pretty severely." The breath Chuck wanted to take got lodged in his throat and he was unable to swallow it. If Blair woke up, would she be the same? Would she have memory loss over the past few weeks or half of her life? Would she be a different person completely? Tears stung his eyes and threatened to spill over. He closed his eyes so as to block the tears from escaping.

"Can I please just see her? Stay with her?" He asked; his voice was that of a broken man. The doctor looked down upon Chuck in compassion and then nodded lightly; figuring Chuck had been through enough today. The other doctors wheeled Blair into her room, leaving her hooked up to an IV and a heart monitor. Her head was bandaged up and she had scratches all over her beautiful face. Her arms lay flaccidly by her sides; her left arm also covered in scratches from where the glass and the impact of the crash had broken through her soft skin. Her engagement ring still occupied the fourth finger on her left hand, and amazingly it had survived the crash unscathed. Chuck walked slowly across the room to be by her side. He took her left hand in his. It was cold and damp; almost as if she was already dead. Then he pulled it up to his face and kissed it. _Please wake up, Blair._ He thought. Perhaps he could communicate with her telepathically? Maybe the unconscious were gifted in that way. _I love you; please don't leave me._ He thought again and then closed his eyes, surrendering to his tears. They spilled over his cheeks and onto his hands. It felt painful to cry; it had been so long since the last time he had.

*

Serena stepped out of the hospital so that she could make the call to Carter.

"Hey Serena. What could be so important that you'd call at this hour?" Carter asked when he answered his phone.

"Carter; there's been an accident and I don't know if I can fly out tonight." She explained.

"What kind of accident?"

"A car crash. Blair's in hospital and I can't leave her." Carter sighed over the phone.

"You're choosing Blair over your father?"

"Yes. I am. She's been there for me more than he'll ever know." Serena explained as a tear dripped down her cheek, "And I have to be here when she wakes up."

Carter heard her silent cries over the phone and understood.

"I'll keep looking for him. Maybe you can join me later."

"Thanks Carter. Goodbye."

"See you, Serena."

And she then re-entered the hospital; making her way back up to the third floor. Chuck was no longer in his chair when she stepped out of the elevator and into the corridor. She walked past Blair's room and then caught sight of Chuck's back as he sat beside her bed. She was very quiet when she looked in; Chuck appeared to be crying.

"I can't live without you." He struggled to speak and she had never heard so much misery and anguish in his voice before. It brought on a new set of tears and she decided that it would be best for her to leave now and return later on. At least Blair was out of surgery; and Chuck was there for her. If there was one thing she could trust him on it was to be there for Blair.

*

The days stretched into weeks which then stretched into a month. Chuck had not been to Bass Industries once, unable to concentrate for longer than an hour and lacking gravely in motivation. His days were mostly spent by Blair's bedside; only on the very rare occasion had he gone back to the Van der Bass apartment to spend a night – most of the time he slept in Blair's room. Serena had 'deferred' her course, as far as Lily knew, for half a year because she also claimed she was in no condition to be learning or away from New York when Blair was still in hospital.

"How are you feeling? To be honest, you've been looking like shit lately." Nate explained matter-of-factly to Serena as they ordered coffees from Starbucks and made there way towards the hospital by foot.

"Aw thanks Nate." Serena replied sarcastically and he just snorted, "I'm fine though. I mean, obviously I'm sick with worry and I'm losing sleep over it all, but the doctors are saying she'll probably be fine. It's all just a matter of time."

Nate nodded and took a sip of his coffee.

"How's Chuck doing? I don't think I've seen him out of the hospital in like a month."

"Not so well, though he tries to hide it. I'm more worried about him than anything else. If he loses Blair, I don't know if he'll be able to handle it. I mean, remember last year, with Bart?"

"Yep." Nate replied. They ambled in silence for a bit before Serena spoke up again.

"I'm headed down to Saint Lucia next month."

"That's what we all need right now; a holiday."

"Not for a holiday though..."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, I'm kind of looking for my dad."

Nate's eyes widened as Serena said this.

"Wow. Why's he in Saint Lucia?"

"He likes his exotic places. No, I don't actually know why. It seems like his on the run from something." They entered the hospital and went through to the elevator – they'd been here so often that doctors knew them by name.

"What could he be on the run from, do you think?" Nate asked when the elevator doors closed firmly.

"I don't know. He's obviously avoiding the US; maybe he's in trouble with the government." Nate shrugged, unable to say his opinion on the matter he knew so little about.

The elevator arrived at Blair's floor and they stepped out, travelling down the corridor, straight to Blair's room 132. Serena looked in and sighed. _Of course Chuck was here._

"Morning Chuck." She greeted as they walked in. Blair, still in the same position as she was for the past few weeks; same could be said for Chuck – although he'd managed to change his outfit at the most 4 times.

"Hey." He replied, as unenthusiastic and dead as ever. Serena looked at Nate with worry and he mirrored her expression. Chuck had not had proper human interaction since the day of the accident. He avoided conversations and small talk; and he was spending more time in the hospital room than any other place. He couldn't leave Blair; it killed him to see her like this, but it also killed him to be away from her – either way, it was a lose-lose situation.

"Chuck man, you need some fresh air. Let's go for a walk." Nate explained, approaching Chuck who was sitting on his armchair, staring out through the window.

"No, I'm alright." He replied, unmoving, his eyes staying focused on the weird shaped cloud in the sky.

"This isn't healthy for you." Serena added, but Chuck didn't reply. Nate exhaled loudly through his nose and then approached the large collection of sympathy cards and flowers. Everyone had been to see her, Eleanor and Cyrus, Harold and Roman, The Humphries, The van der Woodsens, even Isabelle and Penelope had heard about it and left their sympathies, as well as a brand new headband. He pulled out a card from his pocket which he had written up for today and placed it on top of the table.

The sound of the heart monitor accelerating seemed to bring all their attention towards her. Chuck, who'd been the quickest to respond out of all of them, was standing over her, waiting to see if it was finally time for Blair to wake up.

"What's going on?" Serena cried, panicking. The numbers began increasing on the heart monitor – beats per minute? Serena thought. 108, 109, 112…

"Blair? Can you hear me?" Chuck asked; the tiniest glint of hope in his voice. A doctor came in right then, obviously registering the sound of the accelerating heart monitor.

"Excuse me." The doctor spoke with all authority as he tried to get passed Chuck. Chuck stepped back, but then went to the other side of the bed so that he could still see what was going on.

"What's happening with her?" Chuck asked, but the doctor wasn't listening. He was measuring her heart beat with stethoscope. Chuck grunted in aggravation. He could bloody well see that her heart rate was increasing because of the stupid monitor! Now what the hell was going on? Blair murmured and Chuck felt his heart skip a beat, or two.

"Blair!" He cried and the doctor looked at him with a furious look in his eyes.

"Mr Bass, would you please not yell and have some consideration?" Chuck didn't even acknowledge he'd been spoken to. Nate put his hand on Chuck's shoulder.

"Step back mate, let the doctor do his job." Chuck tried ripping out of his grip, but Nate was stronger. When Chuck realised he could not win against Nate, he surrendered and stepped back; but he did not take his eyes off Blair for one second.

"Blair?" The doctor asked softly as she murmured again. Her eyes and mouth twitched; as did her fingers; and then she slowly began to open them. Chuck rushed back to her side and picked up her hand.

"How are you feeling Blair?" The doctor asked as she fluttered her eyelids in reaction to the intensity of the light upon her eyes.


	8. Chapter 8

She looked around frantically from the doctor's face, to Chuck's, to Serena's and finally to Nate's. What the hell happened? She asked herself. The doctor's hands were cool as they brushed away the hair in her eyes. Chuck Bass' hand was soft as it cradled her left hand.

"W-what?" She croaked and Chuck thought he had died and gone to heaven. His heart which had been, figuratively speaking, rendered useless for the past month, as he begged death to come and claim him as it soon would Blair; began beating frantically, as if to make up for it's uselessness over the past month.

"It's ok Blair, you've been in an accident; but everything's fine." Chuck reassured, the tears prickling his eyes. Her eyebrows pulled in to a frown. An accident? What kind of accident?

"It's a bit disorientating; you've been in a coma for a little over a month now." The doctor explained. A month? What month did that make it now, August? September? She'd completely forgotten what part of the year it was.

"It's October the 3rd; your accident occurred on September the 1st." The doctor recalled. October?! How much had she missed? Serena then appeared by the doctor's side with a cup of water, and Blair felt very relieved. Serena didn't look too different – things mustn't have changed too much.

"Have some water, B." She smiled and Blair tried raising her arm to take it but failed. She felt incredibly weak; and then noticed the IV in her hand and wanted to throw up.

"I'll have to ask you all to leave so that the other doctors and I can run some tests on her to see how she'll be. It might take a few hours." The doctor explained. Chuck stood his ground and refused to move; as Serena and Nate kept on pulling him along.

"Chuck, it'll be fine." Nate reassured. Chuck kissed Blair's hand softly and whispered, "I love you, so much Blair," he stared deeply into the depths of her curious brown eyes and added, "I'll be back," before finally getting up to leave the hospital room for what felt like the first time in a month.

"That's such a relief! I feel like I can breathe again." Serena spoke as they made there way down the corridor towards the elevator.

"She gave us quite a scare." Nate added. They slowed their pace to match that of Chuck's, who ambled aimlessly behind them. He didn't want to leave; what if Blair asked to see him and he wasn't there?

"I'm going to wait." He spoke and stopped in his tracks.

"Chuck, she's fine now! You heard the doctor; they're running tests on her now. Do you honestly want to wait around for hours after which she'll be so tired she'll go straight back to sleep?" Serena cried.

"...yes...I do."

"You are ridiculous, Chuck. Go home, have a shower, _eat something_ for crying out loud and _then_ come back." Serena argued, and Chuck considered her words. It would kill some time while he waited anxiously to be allowed to see her again. He saw the logic in Serena's proposal and then followed them out.

*

Two other doctors filed into the room after Chuck, Nate and Serena had left. Blair eyed them suspiciously.

"Good morning Blair; I am Dr Green and these are my colleagues, Dr Rosenberg and Dr Hilton." The female, redhead doctor greeted. She smiled warmly at Blair, but Blair couldn't seem to match her act of kindness.

"This must all be very confusing for you. I am going to attempt to fill you in on exactly what happened; though you will not remember most of it." She continued, taking the seat beside Blair's bed. Blair shifted uncomfortably at the proximity between her and the strangers.

"On Tuesday, the 1st of September at 8.03PM, you were travelling in a taxi when you were caught in an accident." She began and Blair winced. How horrible. The doctor disregarded her reaction and continued.

"You received 5 fractured ribs and a collapsed left lung. You were very lucky that your heart remained was undamaged – that scared the whole lot of us during surgery." She spoke with no humour at all.

"You also received a blow to the head and from your fMRI scans we were able to see that your left temporal and front lobes of the brain were affected." She pointed to a screen on the left that showed images of Blair's brain. The left side of the brain showed areas of red and green which she imagined were the areas where she was hit. Did that mean she was brain damaged?

"It was very minimal; but we're still going to run some tests to make sure. I'm going to ask you to raise both your arms, if you would care to do so." She spoke. Blair took a deep breath and felt a stinging pain in her heart – or was it her left lung that had been injured? Either way, it was painful. She did as she was asked, and raised both arms.

"Thank you." Dr Green said as she and the other doctors wrote down some notes on their clipboards. Her arms almost immediately dropped back down; she was unable to hold them up, she was so deprived of energy.

"Can you wriggle your toes for me?" She said, pulling up the cover to reveal Blair's toes. The rush of cold air was unpleasant, but she tried her best to wriggle all of her toes – she'd never been very good at that; was that going to affect her results in anyway?

"Good. Ok, now what's your full name?" She asked and Blair glared at her; wondering what the real purpose of all these incessant questions was and when she'd be able to get back to her life.

"Blair Cornelia Waldorf." She replied, her voice sounded odd from its misuse.

"How old are you?"

"Uh...sixteen? I think..." She replied, frowning in confusion, unable to remember the last birthday she had had. The doctors all exchanged glances and immediately scribbled down some notes. Then Dr Green continued, "When's your birthday?"

"17th of November, 1991." The doctor nodded and continued to write down notes. She pulled out a photograph from her clipboard and handed it over to Blair.

"Can you identify this woman?" Blair stared at the picture of the beautiful brunette. She had defined laugh lines and creases in her eyes; obviously in her mid-forties, getting closer to fifty; though she still looked very graceful and beautiful. It was none other than her mother.

"It's my mom, Eleanor Waldorf." She handed back the photograph and the doctor stowed it away.

"Can you describe to me Serena van der Woodsen?" The doctor persisted, much to Blair's dismay. Couldn't she have just looked at her before she left? Blair sighed.

"Tall, leggy, blonde." She spoke. The doctor looked up at her through her black-rimmed glasses.

"She's your best friend, is she not?"

"Yes."

"Then you could go into a little more detail."

Blair sighed again. She wasn't really in the mood for this intrusion into her private life; she just wanted to go home and sleep in her own bed.

"She has long blonde hair that goes past her waist. She has dark blue eyes and beauty spot on the left side of her face. She is fun and lively and the best friend a girl could ask for. We've been friends since the first grade." The doctor smiled acknowledging and wrote down some more notes.

"Ok, won't be much longer now, Miss Waldorf. We want to take a brain activity scan to see your brain function while completing a few tasks and then that should be it." The doctors assisted Blair out of her bed and then led her to a room to complete the rest of the tests.

*

"It's 4PM." Chuck said as he fidgeted nervously with his watch. The three of them had gone back to the Van der Bass penthouse and were all sitting on the couches, waiting for time to pass by. None of them were incredibly desperate to go out, The Non-Judging-Breakfast-Club was not complete without Blair.

"I don't think she'll be done yet." Nate explained, as he flicked through an issue of _Us Weekly_ aimlessly, "Holy shit." He spoke, and then Chuck and Serena snapped their attention towards Nate immediately, "That's the best ass I've ever seen." And then they both rolled their eyes.

"Nathaniel, your incompetence never fails to surprise me." Chuck murmured agitatedly.

"Incompo-what?" He asked, not quite caring. Serena stifled a laugh.

"I think we should go in an hour." Serena spoke and then they went back to their silent waiting for time to pass.

*

"Thank you for your participation Blair, we'll get back to you as soon as we analyse all this information." Dr Green explained after they brought Blair back into her room. She felt light as a feather on her feet and as if her bones were very soft. It felt good to sit back down on the bed, which, despite its hard texture, felt like the closest thing to home.

"Is there anything we can get you? Are you hungry at all?" She asked and Blair shook her head. She just wanted to rest.

"Ok then, get some rest then." And then they all left her.

She tried to recall any little bit of information that resembled her being in an accident a month ago, but nothing came to mind. Although she was awake now, she felt very much like she was part of a dream; but then she felt the pressure of the IV in her left hand and tried to push the unpleasant feeling out of her mind; she hated needles. Then suddenly, her eye caught sight of the enormous diamond on her left finger. What was this? It was the biggest rock she'd ever seen let alone ever had the pleasure of wearing. She slipped it off her slender finger to admire it from up close. Since when was she engaged?

"Hey Blair." Chuck's voice startled her and she looked at him standing against the doorframe. He looked so happy and radiant to see her awake.

"Chuck..." She whispered. He approached slowly and then very carefully kissed her on the forehead. She was a lot warmer than before.

"I can't begin to explain how happy I am you're awake." He spoke, and it sounded very strange and foreign for her to hear him speak so openly about his feelings – he had always been the sufferer-in-silence type. She simply smiled as she was unable to give an appropriate response. How much had she missed in one month?

"How are you feeling?" He asked, taking her hand in his and kissing it gently. He stroked her knuckles and kissed the ring on her fourth finger. This was all very weird. Why was he being so affectionate? She pulled her hand away quickly, startling Chuck, in the process. She stared at him cautiously and he looked back at her understandingly.

"Confused..." she finally spoke and then there was a knock at the door that interrupted them.

"Blair!" Serena cried and Blair's eyes lit up at the sight of her. Serena went up to her and hugged her carefully, so as not to hurt her.

"You gave us such a fright! Never do that again." She confessed. Blair let out a little, forced laugh. Chuck eyed her warily; why was she ok with Serena's public display of affection but not his? Maybe it was a girl thing. Serena stroked Blair's messy hair.

"What did the doctors say?" She asked, still sitting on the bed.

"They're analysing the tests now."

"Do you feel ok?"

"I feel like I've skipped a whole chapter of my life." She replied, and then glared at Chuck who had been staring at her the entire time.

"Not really; nothing much happened; we were all too preoccupied with you," she began, "especially Chuck. I think he'd had moved in here himself if this had dragged out any longer." Serena looked over at Chuck who still had a questioning look on his face. Blair shifted uncomfortably as the topic turned to Chuck again; why was he so clingy? Nate came in shortly after Serena and then Blair beamed. Ah, Nate, finally! The one person she was longing to see again.

"It's good to see you, Blair." He spoke tentatively. She smiled back radiantly at him, but he did not come any closer to her.

"Well come here and hug me or something!" She cried, and then Nate, Serena and Chuck all exchanged glances. What was going on?

"Um, I don't think that's a good idea." Nate replied as tension grew in the air. Blair widened her eyes in disbelief. She'd just woken up from a coma and Nate wasn't even going to hug her?

"Ok..." she replied, subjugated.

The room fell into a deafening silence as Chuck stared maliciously at Nate, who was incredibly fidgety; and Serena coughed awkwardly to break the silence.

"Maybe we should go, Blair; you must be so tired and I'm sure all this is very overwhelming for you..." Serena finally said, and Nate and Chuck were very quick to get up and leave.

"Wait!" Blair cried as Serena was in the process of getting out of her chair. They all turned to look at her in record time, "Can you stay with me S?" she asked, only looking at her. Serena nodded and then sat back into the chair, while Nate and Chuck left.

Chuck and Nate were very silent as they left the hospital – Nate; worried about Chuck; and Chuck; worried about where his relationship with Blair was.

"Man it's going to be ok. She's just a bit confused." Nate finally spoke up as they stepped into the car that had come to pick them up. Chuck didn't reply; there was nothing for him to say. He opened up his phone and stared at the wallpaper that featured a photo of him and Blair at their Engagement Party over a month ago. He was kissing Blair on the cheek while she was bursting out in laughter. Watching her happiness made his heart swell and very nearly smile – the act felt foreign to him now, after its being out of use for so long. And then, almost immediately, he felt sadness for he knew that these days were long over.


	9. Chapter 9

_**OMG OMG OMG 17 DAYS!!!!!**_

_**

* * *

**_

"Serena?" Blair asked meekly once Chuck and Nate were out of earshot.

"Yes, B?"

"How long was I out for?" Blair asked and Serena's eyebrows pulled her together in confusion.

"The doctor told you this morning, Blair...a month."

"I know...but...I feel like...I've missed out on so much more..." Blair struggled. She brought her hand up to the left side of her head. Through her hair she could feel the scars from where her head had been stitched up.

"It's ok B, as long as you're awake, everything will be fine. I thought Chuck was going to commit suicide or something; he blames himself."

"Why?" Blair asked in bewilderment – this was totally uncharacteristic behaviour for Chuck.

"Because of that fight you guys got into over Nate. When they found you, you had a blood alcohol level of about 0.07 – that's pretty bad Blair. So it was assumed you had spent the night getting drunk because of your depression. He blames himself for making you choose between staying with him and staying friends with Nate." Serena explained, all the while patting Blair's hand. Blair frowned in confusion. Staying with Chuck? Staying _friends _with Nate?

"What do you mean, staying _with_ Chuck?" She asked and Serena's eyes widened in surprise.

"Um...you're engaged, remember?" Serena gestured towards the ring that was now too big for Blair's finger and was starting to slowly slip off. She took it off to examine it again and then it finally all clicked together: why Chuck came in first and greeted her with a kiss on the forehead, why he was being so affectionate to her and why he told her he _loved_ her. But, how the hell could that have all happened in the space of Serena's return to New York and a break up between her and Nate she didn't even remember happening? Sure they'd been a bit rocky, especially since Serena returned; but Nate told her he'd try to avoid Serena and be a better guy for Blair. Blair started hyperventilating as she came to realise that perhaps there was only one answer – a very clear and precise answer; she had lost her memory. Fat tears oozed out of her eyes and splashed down onto her hospital gown; she wiped them away with her left hand and Serena tried soothing her.

"Blair, don't cry,"

"I-I don't r-remember..." She stuttered and just then, Dr Green re-entered Blair's room; holding her clipboard.

"Blair, I have a conclusion from your test results. If you'd like to hear them..." She asked and Blair simply nodded as she was incoherent; and Serena brushed her hair back and out of her face.

"Miss Waldorf, you've been diagnosed with temporary Retrograde Amnesia." Serena gasped and Blair continued to weep silently. So it was official now; she _had _lost her memory.

"Unfortunately, when we took your fMRI brain scan, we overlooked the damage done to your temporal lobe. As it happens, it has resulted in memory impairment. You will, for at least the next few weeks, have trouble recalling events that have occurred in the past two years."

*

Chuck was very hesitant about visiting Blair ever since he heard the news of her amnesia. When Serena had first told him the night Blair was diagnosed a few weeks ago, he had entered his bedroom and – as hard and unmanly it was to admit it – cried himself to sleep. The night, after Victrola two years ago, should have never happened – he wouldn't have realised he was in love with Blair. If he had never realised he was in love with Blair, he would never have pursued her; if he'd never pursued her, he would never had hurt her in so many ways, he'd had never admitted to her he loved her, he'd had never proposed and then she never would have had a reason to go to that bar on September the 1st or, get into that cab at 8PM...and most importantly, he would not be hurting nearly as much as he was hurting right now. The day when she awoke, October the 3rd, still haunted him – the way she looked at him was as if he were a stranger; and the way she looked at Nate was as if he was the one she was engaged to. What did this mean now? Were they still engaged? Surely, by now, Serena would have told Blair about everything and Blair could now make her decision whether she wanted to believe it or not. Maybe he could pop by her penthouse and ask her himself? Or maybe, she'd just ask him to leave, because he was creeping her out. He shuddered at the last thought. He heard the familiar sound of clicking heels making their way down the corridor and he stepped out of his room to greet Serena.

"Serena!"

"Hey Chuck. I thought you were out."

"Hardly. Did you just come back from Blair's?"

"Yes."

"How's she doing?"

"She's ok; though, she doesn't really remember much of the past two years; just little things basically, like me and Nate; and me coming back; and you being an asshole." Serena smirked a little on the last word, but the broken look on Chuck's face shut her up and she changed her tone.

"The doctor said that it might take a while, but she will remember everything in time. Luckily, it's just temporary amnesia – the damage to her brain has just inhibited her ability to recall memories, rather than destroy the memories all together. So they're still there, they've just been lost...in her brain...somewhere." Serena explained in a poor imitation of the doctor's explanation. Chuck relaxed his expression a fraction.

"Don't worry, Chuck. The memory of you guys is still there, but she can't quite retrieve that memory. At the moment, all she remembers is the beginning of last year. She still thinks we're juniors and she still thinks she's with Nate." Chuck exhaled loudly through his nostrils. The pit of his stomach burned with jealousy and hurt.

"I'm going to her house." But as Chuck tried to get past Serena, she pushed him back with her hand.

"I don't think that's a very good idea." She spoke, raising her eyebrows. He glared at her.

"Why?" But then he realised that he knew exactly why. Obviously Nate was with her. He had to be honest with himself; he probably would not be able to refrain from punching Nate in the face this time – that whole month his anger, hate and hurt had built up, and he wasn't so sure if he wouldn't mind punching Nate in the face.

"I'm going back tomorrow morning; you can come with me." Serena offered while Chuck looked down, embarrassed and hurt. He decided that this was probably the best option for him; for the moment, he could not be alone with Blair, but he couldn't be without her either. He nodded and then retreated back into his room; eager for tomorrow to come.

*

"Thanks for coming tonight, Nate." Blair greeted Nate as he stepped out of the elevator. She was sitting in her living room, very graciously on her white suede couch, where she had a pot of steaming tea and two cups set out for the both of them on the glass coffee table. Nate smiled and approached her, though he kept his distance from her. She gestured to the seat opposite her and Nate took it willingly.

"I heard about your...condition..." Nate began.

"Retrograde Amnesia. I can't remember a lot of things that happened." She replied and Nate simply nodded.

"The thing is; things may have changed...a lot...since two years ago; apparently I'm engaged and you and I have broken up three times..." she laughed half-heartedly, though she really felt like crying. Nate cringed and looked away.

"...but at the moment...I still feel like...I mean...I don't understand..." she struggled as her throat became thick and she found it hard to swallow. Nate looked up at her and into her eyes which were swimming in tears.

"I want to know why we broke up." She stated. How many times had he dreamed that in some alternate universe Blair and Chuck's love would disintegrate, leaving the door open for him and her to resume their relationship? He had never imagined things would turn out in exactly his favour. Here Blair was, with little to no recollection of ever loving Chuck or being with him; and here she was declaring him to explain the reason behind their break up. It seemed almost too easy – with a few words, Nate could win Blair back and they could be happy and in love. He would never cheat on her or hurt her ever again – he'd learnt his lesson. In a few months, they could be engaged to be married, and then Nate could be the one ordering Chuck to stay away from Blair, to leave his engagement party. It was a dream. A dream that felt very distant yet at the same time was merely within arm's reach. What if, after a few months, Blair started recalling events of the past two years? What if she remembered all the reasons why they broke up and all the reasons why she fell in love with Chuck? She'd hate Nate even more than before if she'd find out he lied to her today. Was he noble, or was he a coward? Was it going to be Blair's heart, or Chuck's friendship? He didn't have enough time to debate the topic further, so he finally replied.

"I cheated on you with Serena the first time." He said rather bluntly, and was appalled at how harsh he sounded. Blair didn't deserve that.

"I was in love with her." He added as Blair hiccoughed in distress.

"The second time, you cheated on me with Chuck." He added and Blair looked down. Serena had told Blair that she had broken up with Nate the night she hooked up with Chuck Bass in the back of a limo. How classy; Blair thought at first; and Chuck-like for it to be in a limo. And then she nearly burst out crying when she found out that it had been Chuck she'd lost her virginity to and not Nate.

"The third time..." he started, but struggled to finish. He was still unclear of the reason behind the last break up. She had fallen out of love, or grown up, or something along the lines of that, was the only explanation she gave him. Would he tell her this? Or would he tell her _his_ truth, that _he_ didn't exactly understand; potentially leaving the door open for their relationship to start up again...

He closed his eyes and thought deeply again – Blair or Chuck? He loved both of them; would he deprive them of their own happiness so he could have his? What kind of an asshole puts his own happiness in front of his best friend's? He sighed and continued.

"We broke up at prom...when you finally decided that you would stop running away, and fight for Chuck once and for all." He admitted and felt as if his heart had just been ripped out of his chest. Why did being noble feel so shit?

"Fight for Chuck?" Blair croaked, choking back the tears. Nate nodded slowly.

"You spent our whole senior year chasing after him; and him after you. Neither of you wanted to admit you loved each other; but then when Bart died, you set aside the game and were there for Chuck, and you finally told him you loved him, that day. You were really good for him." Nate began as Blair perked up to listen more intently. Serena hadn't told her _this_ part yet.

"But...he hurt you...again and again. You tried to be strong...but then when you got rejected from Yale...you kind of went down a path of destruction," he continued, and it pained him to go back down that lane – the day of he's party that his Grandfather was throwing in Nate's honour. He remembered how torn Blair had been; and the conversation they had in that big empty room in the mansion; and then how he spent that night at her place because she asked him to...

"That was when you and I got together, for the third time." Blair was very silent throughout the whole recollection. It sounded like an episode of out a teen drama, instead of her own life being retold to her.

"I think we _could_ have been ok; it's just you were in love with Chuck; and I was your rebound." He finally added, and felt lower than ever. He put his head into his hands in defeat. Why he was making Chuck out to be the hero was completely beyond him, Chuck had only time and time again instilled more pain on Blair. But suddenly, as if it were straight out of one of his dreams, he felt a soft hand comforting him on his shoulder.

"Are you alright, Nate?" Blair asked softly, as she took a seat beside him. He was startled by her sudden appearance right next to him – his heart was hammering against his chest, not only in reaction to the fright, but in reaction to her proximity. The smell of her perfume lingered in his nostrils – she smelt so sweet.

"It's just...that break up hurt me..." he added, not quite sure why he was saying this – perhaps it was a side effect of the intoxication of her perfume, which was now overwhelming? Blair moved her other free hand to the side of Nate's face, and began caressing his stubbly cheek. Her eyes glistened with desire as she pulled his face and kissed him slowly on the mouth. Every cell in his body became very alert and all his senses became twice as sharp. The texture of her perfect, round lips moving in synch with his; the strawberry taste of her chapstick; the scent of her pomegranate and palm milk shampoo – the rest of the world seemed to pass by in a blur. The things that were happening to his body the moment his lips touched hers were indescribable – he felt as though he were dreaming, but at the same time, he was totally aware of everything, especially Blair. Though the tiny bit at the back of his brain that maintained sanity kept shouting questions at him – _What the HELL are you doing, man? You selfish, stupid, asshole! What about Chuck? What about Blair, when she remembers? What about their __**engagement**__?! Pull away right now, if you want to keep at least some of your integrity._ And then, what tiny part of control that bit of the brain had, had the ability to make him pull away. He was careful, and he felt like it might kill him; but then remembered that if would be even worse for him in the long-run if he continued, and got over it.

"W-what?" Blair cried in confusion; her eyebrows shaped in an adorable frown. Nate looked her squarely in the eyes; intensifying the moment, and then proceeded with his speech.

"Blair; you and I broke up half a year ago for the last time. You may not understand now, but you will soon, when you get your memory back." Blair looked up at him, unspeaking, and listening intently, "I don't want to give Chuck another reason to hate me; and I don't want to make this any harder for you. The most we can ever be now is friends." Nate, surprised at how true his words were and how convincing he made them sound, concluded.

"B-but I don't..."

"You will see." Nate interrupted, holding Blair's face in his hands. He kissed her on the forehead one last time and then got up to leave.


	10. Chapter 10

Chuck felt oddly buoyant as he and Serena stepped out of the car in front of Blair's penthouse the next morning. It was mostly due to the fact that he was actually going to see and speak to Blair for the first time in a few weeks – though it felt like ten lifetimes – as well as the fact that Blair was slowly beginning to recall memories, so Serena had said.

"It's not like she doesn't know who you are, but she doesn't remember ever being romantically involved with you, so she feels uncomfortable talking about you guys together." Serena explained, carrying the Starbucks and croissant in a paper bag in one hand, while pushing the elevator button hand with the other. Chuck sighed; Serena had only reminded him infinitely of this.

The elevator arrived at her penthouse, and the doors swung open. Chuck's heart skipped a beat, as he anticipated the sight of Blair.

"Breakfast is here!" Serena called out, her voice echoing throughout the house. Serena clicked her way to the living room, placing Blair's breakfast on the coffee table, where the sunlight was pouring into the room, setting the room alight and giving it a golden undertone. Chuck followed Serena over to the living room; feeling a bit pathetic as he felt like a dog following her around Blair's house. Suddenly, he heard the sound of footsteps descending down the spiral staircase, and his heart skipped another beat.

"Soy caramelatte?" Blair called, appearing at the top of the stairs.

"Yes, B." Serena called back, and then Blair hopped down the remainder of the steps. She stopped in her footsteps when she noticed Chuck standing cautiously behind Serena.

"Oh...I didn't realise you had brought...Chuck with you..." Blair stuttered. Serena looked back at Chuck who avoided her gaze.

"Damn! I completely forgot to bring those DVD's you wanted! Chuck, do you think the car's still downstairs? I'll drive past home and pick them up quickly..." Serena started and then escaped quickly before Blair had a chance to protest. The elevator doors closed again, and then there was just Blair and Chuck.

"Hey Blair." Chuck began; surprised by how calm his voice sounded when his insides were squirming and doing back flips.

"Hi Chuck." Blair replied. They stood about 3 metres apart, staring each other down. Still as stubborn as always, Chuck thought and chuckled lightly to himself; at least she hadn't forgotten that part of her personality. As always, he had to be the one to break the silence.

"What've you been up to?" Was all he could think to ask at the moment – though he was burning with other more important questions, such as, 'Are we still engaged?' and 'Will you ever remember how you felt about me?' etc he kept it on the down-low.

"Nothing too much...been visited by some old friends..." she began, approaching her Starbucks. She felt the tension growing as she got closer and closer to him; but she tried to seem suave as she retrieved her coffee and took a sip.

"What are you doing here, Chuck?" She finally gathered up the courage to ask. He shuffled uncomfortably, hoping in his heart that she would not ask this question – but things didn't usually go his way.

"I wanted to see you. We need to talk." He replied. She wanted to put aside this conversation for another time – if she'd known Chuck Bass was coming to see her today, she would have stayed in bed and asked Dorota to cancel her date with Serena – trust Serena to plan something like this.

"I don't have anything to say to you."

"Blair, we're still engaged." Chuck rebutted; and as he did, he let his eyes wandered over to her left hand, where his ring no longer occupied her fourth finger, "W-where's your ring?" He asked; the pain of the knowledge was piercing. She wandered over to a table in the middle of the entrance room and picked up something small, and then came back and handed to Chuck. He held his hand out, and she let it drop into his hand, making sure there was no skin contact. It was his ring.

"You can have it back."

"What?"

"Take it, Chuck."

"But..."

"I don't know who I am...I need to find myself..." she hesitated, for the look on Chuck's face was making it extremely hard for her to carry on, "...I can't be who you need me to be..." she added, looking down. Suddenly Chuck was standing in front of her, holding her hands and pulling her face up so that she could look into his eyes.

"I'll wait a year for you; I'll wait ten years for you!" He cried.

"No Chuck..."

"I'll always be here for you; I'll help you remember! I will be there, waiting for you to come back to me." But Blair did not allow him to convince her. She shook her head in disagreement; tears prickling her eyes.

"...I can't see that happening..." she spoke; willing for him to understand. How was she supposed to come back to him with no memory of them ever being together? She felt like a stranger in this life she'd just recently woken up to; two years was a lot to catch up on and she was sure no one would want to wait on her to recall every event – surely it would take more than a couple of months. She couldn't lead Chuck on, thinking that they'd have a future when, for her, they didn't even have a past.

"You will remember. You haven't forgotten anything, the memories are still there!" Chuck pleaded.

"Maybe...maybe I won't. I don't want you to wait for me. Please go on and lead your life normally; the way you did before you and I ever happened." Blair concluded firmly and then Chuck had no response. So, ultimately, this was their official break up. Blair had returned to him the ring he gave her that was a symbol for their love and commitment to each other; she was telling him to continue his life as if he'd had his memory slate wiped clean just like she had. She had no idea what kind of a ridiculous order that was! She may feel no difference from the person she was two years ago as a result from her accident, but that didn't mean that Chuck didn't! Blair had impacted on his life so severely, she had practically imprinted herself onto him, and removing herself from his life now would be like trying to remove a tattoo; there will always be a scar. Could he ever go back to the guy he was back then? He could barely remember what it was like to be so carefree and emotionless. He went from woman to woman like there were tissues – good for one use and then you had to throw them away. He could never go back to being like that; not after realising how good it felt to be in love with someone who loved you back – but that was just it; Blair didn't love him back – anymore at least – so that was his answer.

Chuck couldn't bear to look into her eyes, though he knew all too well that he should get one last glance before he left, because for all he knew, this was the last time he would see her. After today, Blair would go on leading her life the way her 16 year old self would have wanted to; and he would go on leading his life the way _his_ 16 year old self wanted to. His feet carried him back to the elevator without the conscious order of his brain to do so – his mind was a separate part of his body; lingering around in the room, watching from above as the loser that was Chuck Bass was left dumped by the love of his life. When he finally entered the elevator, and the doors closed, he felt his heart splinter as the part that had belonged to Blair for almost 2 years now, broke apart and was left in the room; leaving Chuck with a broken, useless half-heart.

*

Serena stepped off the private jet Carter had sent to New York for her, at a tiny airport somewhere in the tropics of Saint Lucia. Despite the time of year, the sun beat down heavily, blazing her skin; and she was grateful she didn't pack warm clothes.

"Hey beautiful." A voice she recognised as Carter's spoke as if he were just behind her. As it happened, he had just stepped out of a black car that was conspicuously parked on the runway; wearing a light blue summer shirt with the first three buttons undone, cargo shorts and man sandals; topped off with a pair of aviators. She let out a sigh of relief as she realised that she would not have to worry about her ride home or finding Carter on this tiny island.

"Hey Carter." She replied, pushing her hair out of her face as the wind blew it around crazily.

"I'm so glad you could _finally_ fit me in to your extremely tight schedule." He laughed, taking her luggage and leading her to the car.

"I had an opening that I could squeeze you into." She replied, and then he turned around, trying to hide his laughter as he enjoyed some private joke.

"Do you want the good news or the bad news first?"

"Good news"

"I know why your father's been on the run," Carter answered, to which Serena gasped audibly.

"And the bad news is that it's because he's a drug dealer." Serena's jaw quite literally dropped as she became frozen; staring intently at Carter's face. It wasn't exactly surprising; considering his estrangement from his family and the US; but it was nonetheless just as upsetting to hear.

"Get in the car so we can talk." Carter ordered and Serena followed. The car was air-conditioned; a nice relief from the humidity outside.

"It explains everything – why he left your family, why he's avoiding the US..." Carter continued as Serena considered the information. It also explained why her mother never liked talking about him to Serena and Eric; she knew about his dealing and was ashamed? Maybe the reason she was so evasive was that she was trying to protect Serena and Eric from getting involved with Keith van der Woodsen? It made sense for her mother to do something like that, and Serena felt a pang of remorse because she was lying to Lily and going completely behind her back right now – going against everything Lily had worked for.

"Is he still here?"

"Yes. He's living in a mansion along the coast. He has a lot of land to himself so he's isolated from everyone and he can be very reticent when it comes to dealing."

"Do you have any photos...of him?" She asked, wondering how much he would have changed from the man in the photos from Serena's childhood days. Carter pulled out a manila folder in the back of the car seat pouch, which held a pile of documents and a few clippings of photographs. He took them out and handed them over to Serena who examined each and every one of them thoroughly. The first was of him walking down the street; his blonde hair was greying, and it was long – down to his shoulders at least; he was wearing a white business suit and had a pair of sunglasses on. Also, the most notable of the differences, he had gained a considerable amount of weight; sporting a beer gut that bulged over the top of his pants and casted its own shadow. The second was a photograph of him on the same day, but it was a close up of just his face as he spoke on the phone – obviously making a deal. The third was also of the same day, only this time he was surrounded by a group of people – he stood out in his white – and he appeared to be exchanging a bag of coke for a generous amount of cash. Serena shook her head in disbelief. She turned over to the fourth and final photograph which was a mug-shot of her father. He was a lot younger in this shot; probably late twenties or early thirties. It almost made her laugh as she remembered her own mug-shot; but then she was immediately disheartened as she considered how much of her looks she had inherited from her father. She had the same facial structure as he did; oval shaped face and a sharp chin. His eyes were identical in shape and colour, as they stared callously at the camera. She had inherited the exact shade of blonde hair that – even when in a messed up, disarrayed manner – managed to look like he'd just stepped off a catwalk. It was inevitable; they were most definitely related.

"I couldn't believe the resemblance at first. I'd always thought you looked a lot like your mom." Carter spoke as also gazed at the mug-shot. Serena was speechless.

"I'm sorry about this..."

"No it's fine." She replied immediately. She handed the photographs back to Carter, who stowed them away safely back into the pouch.

"We could have arrested him months ago, in fact, we were going to. But I thought you would have wanted to have the chance to speak to him first."

"Thanks."

"Also, it looked like you and your father share your taste in friends – apparently, your father was dealing for the Captain two years ago. You and Nate can totally catch up..." Carter continued, but Serena stopped listening. It was all so overwhelming; she'd barely stepped off the plane in Saint Lucia and she was already being bombarded with all this news. She feared what else the manila folder contained – it was practically exploding with documents; most likely newspaper clippings, convictions, investigations etc. She could not believe her father was a criminal.

"Where are we going now?" Serena asked, looking out the car window for the first time and noticing that they were driving through a marketplace.

"The hotel; I thought you'd want to get settled down first." Carter explained and Serena nodded.

"Can we go see my father after?"

"Yes, we were planning on doing that straight after."


	11. Chapter 11

_**Hey guys, sorry but I'm not an expert at this site, and I'm not sure if there is an option to reply to reviews; so I'd like to take the time now to say THANK YOU FOR YOUR REVIEWS! Reviews make my day :) It's hard for me to believe that someone would actually read my stories, let alone take the time to leave a review so I'd like to thank you now for all your support! It means a lot. I definitely read them all and take into account any ideas/concepts you have for storylines.**_

_**Now that that's been said, you may proceed to read Chapter 11. AGAIN: I ADORE C/B! I'M THE BIGGEST CHAIR FAN IN THE SOUTHERN HEMISHPERE and don't ever forget that :P**_

x

_**

* * *

**_

_Dearest B,_

_You know that right now I'm out there looking for my father, and that I wish I could be with you instead. Luckily, I feel like I've done all that I can and it's now up to you to rediscover yourself. You are a good person, and I know that you will remember everything in time and make the right decisions. Here is a scrapbook I put together just before I left to help you jog your memory. Please read it, and please remember before it's too late. I worry for him. _

_Love, S_

_Xoxo_

Blair read the note for the umpteenth time since the package had arrived that morning. Serena was 'off to Brown' for a semester, as Lily was under the impression; leaving Blair all alone. Nate was keeping up with the 'let's just stay friends' facade, continually trying to convince her that Chuck is the one meant for her; and Chuck was...well...she didn't even know where he was. Nate couldn't reach him and the board at Bass Industries had told him that he was on indefinite leave. But Blair wouldn't let herself feel bad for him – she had too much on her mind let alone worrying about Chuck's feelings.

For the first time since the package had arrived, Blair opened the scrapbook, revealing a photo of all four of them: Chuck, Blair, Serena and Nate; with _The Non-judging Breakfast Club_ written in Serena's distinctive scrawl underneath. They looked very young – 15, perhaps 16 – and most importantly, they looked very happy. The date was written underneath the caption: _2006_. This photograph she remembered vaguely – it was taken during the summer Serena had left; and she definitely remembered the reason behind Serena's departure – and that was the last thing she happened to remember. She flicked the page, revealing a collage of photographs; most of them from parties – a brunch thrown by Bart Bass early last year – yes she remembered this; she was still grudging against Serena and she was planning on giving up her virginity to Nate. The photograph was of the table Nate, Blair, Chuck, Isabelle and Kati shared, and it had been taken shortly before Serena and her _charity case_ had arrived. She and Chuck had been sharing a joke as she appeared to be leaning in towards him and facing him. It was so different back then; no one would have ever dreamed that Chuck Bass would fall in love with anyone, let alone Blair. Today, he was...more humble...kinder...completely changed. She glanced at the photo beside it which appeared to be of a sleepover being held at her penthouse...and that freshman – Jenny Humphrey, was it? – was there. This memory was very, very hazy. She remembered when her mother had given her that red jacket to wear out that night; but everything else was vague. Serena had added a caption: _The soiree you held in the fall of 2007; that night you and Jenny kidnapped Eric from rehab. Also the night of my first date with Dan._ Rehab? That's right, Eric van der Woodsen had tried killing himself...and was sent to rehab...and then she outed Serena for a drug problem she didn't have in front of the Ivy reps at that Ivy mixer held by the Constance Billard Girls two years ago – she remembered that – and after that she and Serena became friends again. That memory was so clear; it felt like it had only happened a mere two weeks ago, rather than two years ago. The photo beside that one was of her and Serena dressed in beautiful gowns – Blair in black and Serena in yellow. Although they were both wearing masks she could still tell who they were. Underneath the photograph: _The Masquerade Ball, 2007;_ and then tucked underneath a photograph of Chuck and Nate – Nate looked handsome as ever in a cape and phantom of the opera mask; and Chuck was typically dressed in a red suit and devils mask. The photograph made her heart swell, but not in a good way. She discarded it and then flicked to the other side of the page which held photos of her 17th birthday party. Though it took up most of the page, there were only a few photos of Blair. In the first she was laughing with Serena; in the second she was a lot less animated – she was merely smiling – and then in the third, she was looking glumly at her birthday cake. There were no photos of Nate at all – was he even there? – instead, it seemed they had been replaced by photos of Chuck. _Your 17__th__ birthday – you and Nate were broken up. You and Chuck had hooked up the night before; and hooked up this night again._ Blair swallowed hard. Chuck was staring at Blair with intensity in the birthday cake photograph. How strange it was that she and Chuck had shared something so strong, yet she was completely unable to recall it. She must have been hit pretty damn hard. Blair then closed the scrapbook – figuring she'd had enough trips down memory lane for one day – and then stowed it away under her bed.

She made her way gracefully down the stairs and onto the landing, where Dorota was carrying two winter coats into the closet, "Who's here, Dorota?"

"Blair, honey!" Mrs Waldorf's distinctive cries called out from around the corner.

"Mom!"

"Oh, it's so good to see you up and about again. How are you feeling?" She asked, kissing her daughter on the forehead.

"A bit overwhelmed actually."

"Oh, it'll pass, dear. The doctor said it was only temporary Retrograde Amnesia. He said you were very lucky – most people walk away a lot worse." She huffed in between struggling with all her luggage. Just then Cyrus appeared from behind Eleanor.

"Blair!"

"Hey Cyrus!"

"It's lovely to see you out of the dreadful hospital! We booked flights back as soon as we heard about your recovery." He smiled. Blair returned his smile and then helped her mother with the luggage.

"Have you spoken to Chuck?" She asked when they got to Eleanor's room.

"Yes, I spoke to him a week or so ago."

"Oh, so everything is fine now? You remember?"

"Well, no, I don't. And I can't keep waiting for that day when I wake up and suddenly remember everything...so...I broke up with him." Blair spoke the last few words quieter than the rest of the sentence. For some reason, she felt like a fraud saying the words out loud.

"You, what?!"

"I ended it."

"Why on earth?" Eleanor seemed extremely disturbed by the news coming out of Blair's mouth.

"I can't be who he wants me to be. I'm not the same person I was before." Blair admitted. Eleanor continued to stare at Blair in disbelief.

"After everything? Haven't you been told?"

"Only over and over again. But I can't help what I feel." Blair shrugged her shoulders and then left the room.

*

The car halted outside of the large iron gates. The property was bounded by a 2 metre white brick wall with spikes on the top so there was no way of breaking in. Palm trees and other exotic plants spilled over the top of the wall; if it weren't for the fact that this property belonged to a drug dealer, Serena may have actually not felt so threatened by it.

"You ready?" Carter asked, putting his sunglasses back on as he stepped out of the car behind her. She clutched the manila folder to her chest and nodded slightly. Carter put a protective arm on the small of her back and led her to the front gate. They'd gone through this part a million times in the car. Carter would pretend to be a customer and then Keith van der Woodsen would come out or let them in and that would be when Serena would confront him. Carter pressed intercom button. A red light turned on, and then a male voice spoke, "Hello?"

"Hi, my name is Greg Simons. I'd like to speak with Mr Wolfe. It's for business." Carter spoke confidently. He had to use a fake name in case Mr van der Woodsen's security had found out he was being spied on by Carter Baizen; and also he used Mr van der Woodsen's "alter ego" or rather, he's fake identity which he has been using to avoid the US government. It was also the name he was known by in the underground. A buzzer sounded as the front gate opened, granting them entry into the property. Serena's heart was palpitating in her ears. She had a lump in her throat which was not going away no matter how many times she tried to swallow it. Carter's hand maintained on her back – it was the only thing keeping her from running away at that moment. They wandered through the dense forested path up to the mansion. Sunlight poured through the leaves, illuminating the greenness of the trees. It was ironic how the warm summery day contrasted with the atmosphere and the events that were about to take place.

Finally, after what felt like an hour walk, they arrived at the mansion. There were marble steps that led up to a marble tiled veranda and a big, white oak door with colour stained windows you couldn't see through from the outside. The entire house was pearly white; and with the sun shining down brightly upon, it emitted a glow. It was hard to believe that some one so evil could live in such a beautiful house. In silence, they walked up the steps slowly; Serena was still clutching tightly onto the documents; and Carter rang the doorbell. Not even a minute later, the door opened wide and they were greeted by none other than the man himself: Keith van der Woodsen, Serena's father.

He looked just like he did in the photos she had of him. His oily greying hair was slicked back, revealing a receding hairline. He had strong laugh lines ingrained into his cheeks, and eye wrinkles that came with age. His potbelly hung over the belt of his pants. He was wearing a clean and crisp cream Armani suit with a baby blue shirt underneath. Well, what could Serena expect? He was a van der Woodsen after all, so having good taste in clothing was afamily gene.

"Mr Simons. Nice to meet you." He spoke in a gruff voice. He extended an arm to Carter and shook it hard. He then let his eyes wander over to Serena, and he looked her up and down.

"I'm sorry, but you didn't mention you were bringing your little harlot with you. I'm afraid I'm going to have ask you to make her leave." He spoke with no hint of remorse in his words. Serena's gut fell. How could her father speak so harshly of any woman; particularly his own daughter? She looked over at Carter who was looking back at her, at a loss for words. It'd have to be now or never. So Carter sighed deeply and then looked back up at Keith.

"Ok, I was hoping to buy more time, but you've left us no choice Mr van der Woodsen." Carter spoke firmly, removing his sunglasses.

"You! You and you're little team have been spying on me for months! Get off my property!" He yelled; spit flying from all corners of his mouth.

"Oh we will, soon. Just to let you know, we have the US government hidden in cars just outside your gates with a warrant for your arrest. So I suggest you wait a bit, listen to what we have to say and answer a few of our questions first." Carter replied, just as calmly and firmly as before. Keith van der Woodsen, who at this point was fuming with rage, tried to calm himself by wiping away beads of sweat from his forehead with his handkerchief.

"I'm going to call my security, and get them to beat you and your little whore up if you don't get off my property right now, because _no one_ speaks to me like that." He answered gravely. Carter didn't falter, even though Serena thought she might burst out crying. Instead, she channelled her hurt into her anger.

"You wouldn't do that to your own daughter would you?" She finally spoke up, surprised at how calm her voice sounded given the situation. Keith froze, and his eyes settled on Serena. She still held onto the documents. How stupid of him not to notice them in the first place. This was obviously a set up.

"I don't have a daughter. I don't know what you're talking about." He replied, though he knew it was the exact opposite. Could it really be her? The child he shared with Lily Rhodes coming to flesh him out to the police?

"Oh I think you do. I know that right now, you're thinking how on earth she turned out to be such a beautiful and kind person with such an asshole for a father." Carter bit back. Keith glared at both of them, switching from Serena to Carter.

"I'm not going to do this. I left Lily and her children years ago, and I promised her that I would never speak to them if I ever saw them. You are not my daughter. I'm calling security right now."

"That's alright. I don't want to do this either. Just answer me this; why'd you do it? Why did you leave your wife to single-handedly raise your 4 year old daughter and 2 year old son?" Serena cried back at him. Keith had already notified the security, but Serena didn't care. She could be escorted off the property if that was what he wanted, but what Keith had waiting for him outside was much worse than that.

"I didn't love her. And I didn't love you." He spoke the words slowly and harshly. Each separate word punctured a different hole in her chest. Hearing it come straight from the horses mouth was worse than she had imagined it could be. Carter proceeded to punch Keith in the face while he was unprepared. There was a crunching sound as the force from Carter's punch resulted in a broken nose. Keith stumbled around and then quickly brought his hands up to the source of his pain with blood running down his face and all over his hands.

"What the HELL?" He cried, and then suddenly a group of men dressed in black with sunglasses on and radios appeared and grabbed both Serena and Carter's hands behind their backs. Serena dropped the documents she was holding, causing them fly open, and all the separate sheets of paper to scatter around on the ground. She gasped, trying to rip out of their grips and gather the scattered papers, but she couldn't budge them. They pushed her and Carter down the path back out to the front entrance; Serena arguing and crying the entire time.

"Settle down you crazy bitch!" One of the security guards yelled as Serena attempted to kick him from behind.

"Take your hands OFF OF ME!" She yelled, "My mother is Lily Bass and she will have you all incarcerated!" She continued when they finally got to the front gate. The police were waiting and then the security guards handed both Serena and Carter over to them.

"Actually, we're having _you_ incarcerated. Take them away please, they were found trespassing on Mr Wolfe's property." The guard holding Serena down explained. The police handcuffed both Carter and Serena and then pulled them into the backseat of the police car.

"What the hell is this? There's drug dealer in there! Why are you arresting us?!" She panicked.

"Sorry ma'am, you were trespassing."

"We did no such thing! We were granted entry by him only to uncover _Mr van der Woodsen_ and have _him_ arrested!" Carter added, but the police ignored them.

"Carter, what the hell are we going to do?" Serena cried, running out of breath from all her hyperventilating.

"I don't know! This is ridiculous. I'm going to call my lawyer, and then you'll all be out of your jobs!"

But again, the police ignored them as they sped down the highway off to the local Gros Islet Quarter Police Department, silently chuckling to themselves as they anticipated the reward they would get from Mr van der Woodsen later.


	12. Chapter 12

"Hey man. Look, I can't leave you another message and call myself a man so how about you give you me a call after you listen to this message ok?" Nate spoke as he paced up and down his corridor. It had been almost 3 weeks since Blair dumped Chuck, and since then he had made himself scarce. Nate had texted him a few days ago with the message, '_Where are you?'_ to which he replied, '_Out. Don't know when I'll be back' _leaving much to Nate's interpretation. 'Out' could be in a bar, drinking himself into a stupor or taking a walk in Central Park. Or – the more reasonable interpretation in Chuck's case – 'out' could mean on the other side of the world; high on drugs in foreign countries. Unfortunately, Nate didn't have a personal investigator or a detective on speed dial that he could just pay a wad of cash to, to go find Chuck – though if it came to that where he would need to pay a large sum of money to find him, he undoubtedly would. But at the moment, Chuck was in a very fragile state and he needed time to cool off. Nate would be persistent in his voice messages and texts; praying that one day, perhaps, Chuck will disclose a little more information.

Suddenly he felt a vibration in his pocket. It startled him mostly because it was so unexpected, "Chuck!" He cried as he answered it.

"Nathaniel." Chuck replied in his usual cultivated tone.

"I guess you got my messages, finally."

"All 30 of them, yes." Chuck replied and Nate chuckled, embarrassed.

"So, uh, are you going to tell me where you are or am I going to have to hire a whole team of detectives to find you?"

"Chill out, I'm just over in the O.C basking in some sunshine. Why don't you come join me?" Chuck proposed. Nate thought about it. He had a uni assignment due tomorrow but then again, Chuck had only just replied to his desperate calls. Could he reject him? If he was all the way across the country because he couldn't stand to be in the same city as the girl who dumped him, then he must be pretty bad. Nate figured Chuck needed a friend; and he wanted to be there for him; so he decided he'd call in sick and spend the weekend with Chuck in California.

"Alright, I'll be there."

"I'm sending my jet over. Be on it. I'll see you soon."

*

The scene looked very familiar. She'd definitely been here before – in fact, it was her second home. There were many people in the room, mingling and chatting. But only one of them mattered to her. She caught sight of him peering at her from the corner, and her heart skipped a beat. She loved him, but she also hated him. She turned around so he could not read the emotions on her face. Suddenly, she felt a pair of hands around her waist, and she began to panic. _No, not in public! _She thought, but didn't have the courage to say it out loud. When she looked around, she saw it wasn't him, but someone else. They smiled down at her, but they didn't ignite the same feeling that sent her heart racing from fear and excitement at the same time. They were beautiful and kind but not the right person. Unfortunately only he that she hated could fill the void in her heart. His name was _Chuck_.

Blair awoke, dazed and confused. The dream she had just had had felt so incredibly real that it was a bit overwhelming for her. She pressed her hand to her head and felt beads of sweat forming.

"I need some water." She said to herself quietly as she wandered over to her bathroom and filled a glass with tap water. As she drank it, she caught sight of a red dress hanging off a coat hanger on her closet door. _Where had she got that dress again? _It wasn't an Eleanor Waldorf original; and it wasn't a dress she would purchase for herself – especially one that was so revealing in all the right places. Of course she wouldn't know where she got that dress, because it was a gift for her from someone else. A _male_ someone else. She gulped down the rest of the glass and then went back into bed. The dream lingered in her mind – still as vivid in her memory as it was in her dream. Serena had gotten arrested for stealing a bracelet – and Lily was behind the arrest. She chuckled to herself; she'd have to call Serena in the morning and tell her all about her crazy dream. In the dream she was with Nate, but she wasn't very happy. She wondered why. And Chuck was always in the background, scrutinizing her every move. He seemed so sad; and in the dream she felt a pull towards him to go comfort him, but at the same time, she was aggravated by him. Not because of the way he always watched her, but because he couldn't be honest with her. Blair shrugged it off. It was probably everyone going on about her and Chuck that was leading to her having these crazy dreams that maybe they're meant to be together. She closed her eyes and then let sleep find her.

This time when she woke up a few hours later, it wasn't due to a crazy dream; it was due to the voice she heard call out her name.

"Blair," he called. It sounded like it came from her bedroom door; so she immediately sat up in bed and looked over; but again she proved to be delusional as there was no one there. It was beginning to freak her out. Maybe it was guilt over breaking Chuck's heart that was acting up on her. He was haunting her dreams because she was a bitch? She'd rather not think about it.

Then the sound of her ringtone nearly gave her a heart attack. She glanced at the caller ID: Anonymous; it flashed. _Who the hell would be calling her at 6 in the morning? _She thought to herself as she looked over at the clock. She figured she might as well answer it, since she was already awake.

"Hello?" She asked, making sure she sounded as peeved as she felt.

"Oh, my GOODNESS BLAIR! I'm so glad you picked up. No one's been answering my calls!" Serena's desperate voice called over the phone.

"Serena? What's going on? Of course no one's answering; it's 6 in the morning and you haven't got your caller ID switched on!"

"Uh, that's because I'm not calling from my phone."

"Whose phone are you calling from then?"

"....a public one..."

"Ok then...Haha I have something I need to tell you."

"Oh...me too..." Serena stuttered, sounding very confused.

"Ok then, you go first," Blair replied, but Serena then hesitated, "No, you go."

"I had a dream you were in jail!" Blair giggled, and Serena went silent.

"It was just a dream." Blair replied, noticing Serena's silence, "Ok fine, you tell me your news."

"That is my news."

"What; my dream?"

"Uh no...I'm in jail..." Serena replied, defeated.

"What?! What for?" Blair cried, utterly at a loss for words. Perhaps her dreams were prophetic? She shuddered away at that thought.

"My _father_ got me arrested." Serena snarled at the word. Blair thought it ironic that in her dream, Lily had been the one that put Serena behind bars. Decidedly, her dreams were prophetic – to an extent.

"Oh, my goodness. Are you ok? Have you arranged for a way to get yourself out of there?"

"Carter's lawyer is coming. He had to call because I can't have mom finding out about me being in Saint Lucia; let alone _jail._ I just wanted to tell you so that I could shift the burden a bit. Sorry." Serena said remorsefully.

"That's absolutely fine, S, in fact, I'm going to fly out there first thing in the morn-....today." Blair said, reminding herself that it was in fact morning already.

"Oh no B, you don't have to!"

"No, I do. I'll see you soon."

*

Later on that day, once Blair had packed for her trip to retrieve Serena; she immediately headed downstairs to catch the first taxi to the airport.

"Miss Blair, are you sure you want to do this?" Dorota questioned as she assisted in putting Blair's luggage into the boot of the car.

"Yes, Dorota. I have to be there for Serena at a time like this."

"But what will school say? Miss Blair, you have already missed out on so much!" Dorota pleaded in her heavy Polish accent.

"I called them up already. They can't do anything about it." And with that, Blair stepped into the taxi and waved goodbye to Dorota as it drove off.

Blair silently cursed to herself for not thinking of going at a time when there was less traffic. They had barely driven out of the city in 45 minutes. It was absolutely ridiculous. She'd booked a 2:30pm flight and it was already 1:00pm. They always warned you to check in at least an hour before your flight; and at this rate, Blair would have a lot less time to check in.

"Sorry sir, could you perhaps speed up the driving a bit? I'm sort of in a hurry." She pleaded. The taxi driver muttered something in his native language and then waved her off with a hand gesture. _Ok..._Blair thought to herself and stared out the window at the passing buildings. It seemed the message _had_ gotten to the taxi driver, as he picked up some speed and began weaving in between cars and other vehicles.

"Wow, ok, hold up!" She cried as she was being thrashed around from side to side in the backseat; but he didn't stop, instead, he went faster. She hit her head on the window; the place where she had had stiches; and then screamed as she heard the blaring horn of a truck that was fast approaching them from the side as the taxi entered the intersection while there was a red light. She closed her eyes as the painful realisation that this was awfully familiar to her settled in. She didn't remember it; but Serena and the doctors had told her this over and over again. This was the reason for her amnesia – a car accident; in which the taxi she was travelling in ran a red light and was hit by oncoming traffic. When she opened her eyes again and felt her face; she realised then she'd been crying hysterically. The taxi driver slowed down considerably and was apologising to her for driving so recklessly.

"I am so sorry Miss!" He cried over and over again as Blair began hyperventilating. It nearly happened all over again. Had they reached the intersection half a second later, the truck would have undoubtedly crashed into them. She would have been sent to hospital _again_, with brain damage _again,_ only this time; it would have been a lot more severe. The very thought of it made her heart race at an incredible rate and she began thanking God she was still alive. To think, she was so close to death and yet she came out unscathed. She made a mental note to herself that she would be grateful for her existence everyday; also that this was the last time she would catch a taxi again.


	13. Chapter 13

4 and a half months later…

The thick sheet of snow that used to cover the paths and parks was slowly beginning to melt as spring was approaching. The sun, which had spent the majority of its time behind the clouds, finally came out today and its intensity was strong enough to wake even Blair up from her heavy slumber. Her eyelids fluttered open in response to the rays and she stretched her arms out in a vain attempt to put off getting out of bed. When she looked to her left, she noticed the other half of her bed was empty. The sound of the shower running next door in her bathroom gave away that he was occupying it. The thought of joining him made her smile. It was only 7am and her first class today is in the afternoon, so she was in no particular hurry. Blair jumped out of bed and snuck into the bathroom; swiftly removing her purple silk camisole and matching French knickers. He was singing to himself, as usual, and had managed to fog up the mirrors so Blair couldn't take one quick sneak peek at herself before she joined him. But that didn't bother her too much. She slid the shower door open and hopped in.

"Blair!" He cried as he noticed his beautiful, naked girlfriend entering the shower to join him.

"Good morning." She smiled and he put his finger under her chin to pull her up for a kiss.

"I just rinsed my hair out. How about I wash yours for you?" He asked, but Blair wasn't thinking about washing her hair at that moment.

"How about after our morning shower romp?" She asked raising an eyebrow seductively. He more than complied. The conversation was effectively over from then on for the next 30 minutes. Blair didn't get to wash her hair until about an hour later.

"You know there are countries out there that have water restrictions, and here we are talking hour long showers." He laughed after they finally decided to get out. He towel-dried his hair and then wrapped the towel around his waist, just below his hipbones because he knew Blair couldn't resist it when he did.

"I never heard you complain before." Blair replied cheekily as she also wrapped a towel around her body. She approached the mirrors in her bathroom, which had begun to un-fog again, and commenced her daily routine of cleaning her face and applying her makeup. But before she could really begin anything, two arms wrapped themselves around her waist and she was being kissed along the neck provocatively.

"Take the towel off, you look sexier without it."

"_I_ need to get ready; I'm meeting Serena today for some shopping."

"There's something I need to ask you, Blair."

"Yes?"

"Will you accompany me to The National Business Awards Ceremony tomorrow night? My father is a recipient of an award. I have to be there because I'm vice CEO and it's going to be really boring without my girlfriend there with me." He asked, nuzzling his face into Blair's neck affectionately.

"Damian, you know how much that tickles me!" Blair laughed and she playfully pushed him away.

"Will you go with me?" Damian asked again, unwilling to let go of Blair.

"Of course I will, sweetie! I need to get a dress though."

"No need, I've already got one for you. I'll get Dorota to bring it up." He began. Blair stifled a laugh. It amazed her how prepared Damian could be sometimes.

"What if I had said no?" Blair posed, raising an eyebrow.

"You wouldn't have. You love these parties too much." And Blair had no retort to that. In the short 3 months that Blair and Damian had been together, he'd gotten to know her very well – even too well at times.

Combing his hand sexily through his dark brown, wavy hair, once; he left Blair in the bathroom all to herself so that she could get ready for her shopping date.

*

Three thousand miles away, across the other side of the country; Chuck was lounging in a recliner beside his pool. It was comfortable 26 degrees Celcius and the sky was a perfect blue with not a cloud in sight. You didn't get days like these in New York. Though it was Thursday, Chuck wasn't working. One of the perks of being CEO of a major company was that he didn't need to show up everyday. The Headquarters were in New York, but he was based in California.

Four months ago, Nate moved in with Chuck. It was a combination of boredom and not getting much out of uni that led to his ultimate decision of leaving New York with Chuck. Since then, life was a little bit like a never-ending party. Chuck was on a mission to mend his broken heart, and that included screwing anything that moves. They first visited Ibiza, Party Capital of the World; and then they travelled across Europe and Asia. They visited Fiji and then Australia for a bit before heading back to California just recently. Of course, William Vanderbilt was less than impressed with Nate's decision, but that didn't stop Nate from doing it.

Today was a day just like any other.

Alfonso, the butler, served Chuck the golden envelope on a silver platter; while Chuck continued to lounge by the pool and soak up the sun.

"Mr Bass, this came in the mail for you this morning." He spoke, drawing Chuck's attention to the envelope. He took it from the platter and ripped it open. It read:

_Dear Charles Bartholomew Bass,_

_It is with great pleasure that we award you 'The Entrepreneur of the Year' Award at the 2010 National Business Awards Ceremony held at The Town Hall, New York City on Friday the 5__th__ of February. Your dedication and hard work as Central Executive Officer of Bass Industries has been recognised and we would like to applaud you for helping make ours a better community. The ceremony begins at 7:00pm and it is advised that you arrive early so that we can begin the festivities on time. If, for any reason, you are unable to attend, please have a member of your staff contact us so that we may arrange for you to receive your award another time. We hope to see you there. Many congratulations, Mr Bass!_

_Regards,_

_Peter Schiffrin_

Event Director, UBM Live,

The National Business Awards

Chuck gave the letter a once over and then placed it back on the silver platter for Alfonso to dispose of.

"What was that?" Nate asked as he returned from his trip to the kitchen with an energy drink.

"A letter."

"From?"

"I don't know…Peter…" Chuck replied evasively. Nate grabbed the letter before Alfonso disappeared and read the letter for himself.

"Chuck, this is great!"

"That's nice to hear."

"You're going to go, aren't you?"

"Nope. I have no desire to go back to New York; even if it's only for one night."

"Dude, I thought you were over it." Nate replied, taking his seat on the recliner beside Chuck.

"Over what?" Chuck asked, sitting up and lifting his sunglasses up so he could see Nate properly. Nate bit his tongue; he wasn't permitted to utter her name; let alone speak of anything that could potentially lead to the subject of _Blair Waldorf_. He quickly tried to come up with something to avoid the subject.

"Um, the weather…in California; you said you were over it being hot all the time…" he crapped on, replacing his sunglasses so that he could hide the fact he was cringing at his pathetic attempt to cover up what he was really saying.

Chuck also replaced his sunglasses, relieved that Nathaniel wasn't heading in that direction of the conversation.

"It's not that bad all the time. Plus I've really worked up my tan since we moved here." Chuck began, glancing at his outstretched arms as he checked out his tan.

"Maybe you can go receive it for me and then bring it back here."

"When was the last time you spoke to Lily? Don't you want to see your family?" Nate continued,

"2 months ago. They're all fine."

"Come on man, you've just won _Entrepreneur of the Year_, and you don't even want to claim it. Do you know how many girls will be begging to go home with you at the end of the night?" Nate suggested; which actually managed to make Chuck smile a little. Nate had a point, the girls in California has nothing on New Yorkers. They held a certain fascination for him which Orange County girls couldn't seem to master. He finally agreed, but only on the basis of the amount of ass he'd get by the end of the night. After their tanning session, they headed back inside to begin packing for their trip back to New York.

*

After a morning of shopping and an afternoon of classes, Blair and Serena decided to go out for dinner. The unanimous choice was _Serafina_ purely because of their fine cuisine


	14. Chapter 14

After a morning of shopping and an afternoon of classes, Blair and Serena decided to go out for dinner. The unanimous choice was _Serafina_ purely because of their fine cuisine; plus it was the place Damian took Blair on their first date and she had a soft spot for it.

"What better way to top off our fabulous Blair/Serena Day than to eat out at a fine restaurant?" Blair said as they were being led upstairs to a secluded table. They passed the table Damian and Blair shared their first meal together at, and her heart grew with warmth for Damian. Serena noticed Blair's extra bounce in her step and had to bring her attention to it.

"You seem to be very happy today, Blair. Did you get the best mark in your French History class again?" Serena asked as they took their seats. The waiter handed them a pair of menus and murmured something about coming back later, while Blair fought the urge to sing from happiness.

"I am happy; because it's been a good day. I love this restaurant because Damian and I had our first date at that table right there…" she said, pointing a dainty, polished finger towards the table behind them, "…and, he asked me to The National Business Awards Ceremony tomorrow night! I can't remember a time when I was happier than I am now." She smiled and began to read the menu while Serena processed her words. Of course _Blair_ couldn't remember a time when she was happier than right now, but _Serena _sure could. She made sure it didn't show on her face though, and instead smiled at Blair.

*

"This Salmon Terrine dish is absolutely wonderful, Bertrand." Lily declared as she took a tiny bite off the end of her fork, "Very well done," Rufus added. The two were enjoying their hearty, home-cooked meal that evening when they were suddenly interrupted by the sound of the elevator arriving at their floor.

"Oh, I wonder who that could be." Lily said, dropping her fork and looking up to see who would emerge from around the corner.

"Oh, my goodness!" She cried when none other than Chuck Bass materialized in front of her eyes. She stood up to greet him; he had a smile on his face.

"Charles! It's so good to see you!" She said, hugging him affectionately. He returned the favour, "It's good to see you too Lily. And, of course, you, Rufus." Chuck replied and shook Rufus' hand firmly once he was able to unravel himself from Lily's grasp.

"I presume you're here for the…"

"Award? Yes, I got the letter this morning and Nathaniel convinced me that I should come back and accept it."

"Well, of course you should accept it! You've been working so hard lately, you deserve the award." Rufus acknowledged. Chuck smiled to himself as he thought of all the _hard-work _he did while partying in various nightclubs across the globe; but he would never admit that to Rufus or Lily.

"We've just started dinner, and I'm sure there's plenty left over. Would you like some?" Lily offered, gesturing to an empty seat between herself and Rufus; but Chuck shook his head, "No, no. I only dropped by to say hello. I'm going over to my room at The Palace. Have a good meal and I hope to see you both tomorrow." He bowed in typical gentlemanly fashion, and then headed back towards the elevator to exit.

*

"Have a good night, Blair. Get some beauty rest before the big night tomorrow!" Serena told Blair as they exchanged their goodbyes in the taxi parked out the front of the van der Woodsen's building.

"Thanks, love. Make sure you look out for every newspaper the day after tomorrow, because you can be sure that Damian and I will be on every front cover looking absolutely fabulous!" Blair cried excitedly, and Serena just responded with a smile. The taxi drove off and Serena entered the building as Vanya, the doorman, held the front door open for her. The person she saw coming out of the elevator was the last person she was expecting to run into today.

"Chuck!" She cried as he exited the shaft, looking tanner and fitter than she'd ever seen him before in her whole life.

"Hey sis." He greeted with an edge to his voice. _Was _she_ with her?_ His heartbeat quickened as he looked out for the brunette vixen; but she was nowhere in sight. He was safe; at least for now.

"What are you doing here?" She asked with the conventional greeting hug.

"I've won some kind of award for tomorrow night. I'm going to the ceremony, but I'm not going to stay in New York for very long after it. I've got to get back." He confessed. Serena looked at him apologetically, "It doesn't have to be that way. You don't need to be inconvenienced because…." She trailed off as she noticed the look on Chuck's face. Perhaps it would be best if she didn't mention that subject at all.

"So…have you got a date for tomorrow night?" She asked trying to brighten up the atmosphere with a lighter subject. Chuck snickered.

"No, not yet. Why; are you willing to be my date?"

"Well, if you _insist_! I mean I think I have an opening so I guess I can squeeze you into my incredibly busy schedule tomorrow night." Serena chimed. Chuck nodded.

"Alright, I'll pick you up 6.30. It's an early start." He finalized, "I've got to get to my room now. I'll see you tomorrow." Chuck concluded as he exited the building and Serena took her place in the elevator. _This could be very good, or very bad…_Serena pondered as she tried to imagine how tomorrow's events would play out.

*

Dorota pulled the last roller out of Blair's beautiful brown hair and then began to formulate an up-do out of the mass of curls she had just created.

"Finally, a worthy event to be seen at, Dorota! Only the crème de la crème of society will be attending tonight. What's better is that Damian's father, Artemis Butler, has won '_The Marketing Strategy of the Year'_ Award; which is probably the one of the most prestigious awards one can win – second only to the Entrepreneur award. But I'm sure it was unjustly awarded to some nobody again – as it was last year." Blair huffed as she sat in front of the mirror while Dorota played the role of hairdresser.

Once Dorota had finished styling Blair's hair; Blair slipped into the dress Damian had purchased for her as a gift.

"It looks lovely Miss Blair!" Dorota cried happily, tears sparkling in her eyes. Blair twirled around in front of her mirror. The deep purple satin dress accentuated her most womanly curves. It had intricate detailing at the front which brought attention to her cleavage; and was backless which brought attention to her fragile and slender frame. She decided to wear only one piece of jewelry to accompany the dress that evening – a diamond necklace given to her by her father many years ago. She placed it around her neck; where the diamond lay right between her breasts. Dorota was lost for words as she continued to stare at Blair with her mouth agape. The sound of the footsteps making their way up the staircase brought their attention back to reality.

"My, my, you do look absolutely wonderful, if I do say so myself." Damian's voice spoke before he even appeared from out of the doorway. Dorota stepped out of the way to grant him entry and Blair ran into his arms. She greeted him with a passionate kiss on the lips, but pulled away as soon as she realized she was wearing lipstick.

"Sorry, sweetie, I just spent an hour doing my makeup." She smiled, and he scoffed, "Come on, let's go. I'm afraid, if we don't leave soon, I lose all control and we'll never get to the ceremony tonight." He giggled, but Blair didn't. _Why did she have the feeling that she had been told something very similar to that before?_ She racked her brains for the many compliments Damian poured all over her on a daily basis, but none rung true to what he had just said. _But then why did she have this aching feeling of déjà vu?_ Confused, she shook her head to clear it, and then flashed a dazzling smile in Damian's direction.

"I love you so much." He confessed, kissing her on the top of her head.

"I love you too." She replied as they made their way downstairs and out of the building.

*

"Serena, you're great a many things, but getting ready on time if not one of them." Chuck complained as he leaned against the outside wall of Serena's bedroom while she got dressed on the inside.

"I'm sorry; I didn't know that by 6.30, you actually meant _6.30_!" She yelled back, to which Chuck laughed out loud.

"What else is 6.30 supposed to mean?" And then he threw his head back in anticipation. After what seemed like a very long time, Serena emerged from her bedroom, wearing a brilliant red dress which went very nicely along with her naturally tanned skin. She had pulled her blonde hair up into a messy pony tail which, despite its messy look, appeared as if it would have taken her a while to assemble. Chuck looked her up and down quickly, and then nodded quickly before averting his eyes; having gotten so used to seeing Serena as a sibling as opposed to another one of his conquests.

"The limo is waiting. We're probably going to be late now." He explained, checking the time on his Rolex watch. It read 6.43pm.

"Well then we'll be very fashionably late." Serena smiled, and Chuck couldn't manage to stay angry for very long while being in the presence of Serena.

The ride only took around 15 minutes; to Serena and Chuck's surprise. They arrived right on time; as there were many other business men and their partners arriving at that same time. The chauffeur stepped out of the driver's seat to assist Serena and Chuck out of the backseat. As they stepped out of the limo, Serena linked her arm with Chuck's and he led her into The Town Hall.

"Welcome, Mr Bass, and your partner, Ms Van der Woodsen." The doorman greeted as he held the door open and gestured them to enter. The inside was set up quite nicely. Hundreds of white clothed tables filled the room. The many guests were taking their seats at their assigned tables, while others were catching up with acquaintances and friends.

"We're table 18." Chuck declared to Serena, and they started heading closer towards the stage where the lower numbers were situated. Serena searched the room for any signs of Blair or Damian. No doubt she would run into her sometime during the course of the evening – and no doubt once she did, Blair would get into a hissy fit over the fact Serena failed to inform Blair that she would attending tonight; let alone with her ex-fiancé whom she apparently _can't remember_. Maybe she could successfully keep Blair and Chuck from even seeing eye to eye? Serena could just say she was the date of another businessman Blair didn't know of, and as such didn't feel the need to tell her? Her mind raced as she tried to come up with a good enough excuse, until finally, she gave up.

"Serena van der Woodsen, Charles Bass." Chuck said as he noticed their place cards on table 18. He helped Serena into her seat and then took his own seat; and then waited for the night to begin.

*

At that same time, Blair and Damian entered the room.

"What an exciting night!" Blair cooed happily as she eyed the other guests and their respective partners – subconsciously comparing the way she looked tonight, to the way they did. Eventually, she concluded she was best dressed; and that was mostly due to the fact her dress was especially imported from France for her as a gift from her very own boyfriend.

"What table are we sitting at, Damian?" She pondered, as Damian retrieved the invitation from his breast pocket.

"Um, 18. Way at the front." He pointed across the room to the tables closer to the stage.

"Will your father be sitting with us?"

"No, actually. I'm not too sure what table he'll be at." Blair took a deep breath and smiled widely. Nothing could ruin her perfect night tonight. She looked fantastic, her gorgeous boyfriend looked almost as good as she did – plus he absolutely adored her – they were probably the youngest couple in the business industry attending tonight, and for once, she will be could taken seriously at a very important and elite event.

They crossed the room and began to approach their table when Blair noticed the other couple already seating at table 18. What struck her most unusual was not the fact that they looked just as young herself and Damian, or that the blonde looked just as good as she did; but probably the fact that she knew very well exactly who they were.

"Serena? Chuck?" She cried as they arrived. Serena gasped as she noticed Blair with Damian; which ultimately alerted Chuck, and as such the pair of chocolate brown eyes that matched Blair's perfectly looked up from the table, and met hers instantly.


	15. Chapter 15

_**End of high school = a lot of spare time. Currently I have nothing better to do with my life than to write fanfics about my favourite couple :). Hope you enjoy the chapter!**_

**_Feedback is nice and also appreciated!_**

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"Serena? Chuck?" She cried as they arrived. Serena gasped as she noticed Blair with Damian; which ultimately alerted Chuck, and as such the pair of chocolate brown eyes that matched Blair's perfectly looked up from the table, and met hers instantly. The full second that Chuck held Blair's gaze felt more like an eternity. His memories of her face had not done her justice – she was even more painfully beautiful than he could remember. Suddenly, he felt as if someone had stabbed him squarely in the heart using a fork.

"Hey Blair, and Damian…." Serena smiled uncomfortably. She glanced at the couple in front of her, and then back at Chuck, who was still staring up at Blair, rendered utterly speechless. Blair couldn't quite put a name to the way Chuck's stare was making her feel. She figured she ought to feel violated and a bit uncomfortable; but rather than that, she felt a bit ashamed and at the same time, more alive than she'd felt in ages – the adrenalin coursed through her veins and quickened her heartbeat – and…where those butterflies in her stomach? Surely not.

"Damian; you know Serena of course…." Blair composed herself, gesturing towards Serena as Damian walked over to her and greeted her with a kiss on her hand, "…and apparently, she is the date of Chuck Bass." She finished, while Damian's jaw literally dropped.

"_The_ Chuck Bass? Of Bass Industries?" He was perplexed by this statement. Chuck broke away his gaze from Blair and then looked up at Damian who was hovering over him like a fly.

"It's an honour to meet you; even though your company is probably my father's biggest rivalry." He laughed; though Chuck remained as cold and stern as ever. For once; he very much resembled his father, Bart Bass – and that definitely frightened Serena. Nonetheless, Chuck took Damian's hand who was sticking it out eagerly, waiting for him to shake it. He grasped it firmly and shook it like a man.

"It's nice to meet you….Damian?" Chuck replied, still confused as to who this guy was.

"Damian Butler; my father is Artemis Butler – Head of The George&Butler Group." He replied, as Chuck nodded in acknowledgement. He had heard of the Butlers before; they were also in the hotel business.

"Serena, may I please have a word with you?" Blair posed; masking her anger and shock behind a forced smile. Something about the tone of her voice made it seem more like a statement than a question; and implied that if Serena wouldn't follow, she would be in trouble. As such, Serena nodded and excused herself. Blair pulled her all the way over to the Ladies Bathroom before she confronted her.

"Serena, I'm going to give you a minute to explain what the hell you are doing here." Blair demanded. Serena expected no less than this, so she proceeded to explain herself.

"Look Blair; it was a really last minute thing…after I stepped out of the taxi I ran into Chuck in the lobby. He told me he was back because he had won an Award for tonight and then I decided I'd join him at the ceremony seeing as he didn't have a date." Serena clarified, smiling widely to try to convey her innocence. But Blair didn't buy it.

"You didn't think to call me after this all happened? To give me some kind of warning?"

"I didn't think it would such a big deal! You're with Damian now."

"Exactly! Did you not see the look he gave me when he saw us together?"

"If I'd told him you were coming with your _boyfriend_ he wouldn't have come."

"And that's a problem, why?" Blair asked in a sarcastic tone.

"Blair! He won an Award and he's only 18! Not only is this an amazing achievement for anyone in this industry; it's absolutely incredible for someone his age!" Serena responded in an aggravated voice. Even Blair knew that this was a great success for Chuck; but there was absolutely no way Blair would admit that, if she wanted to keep her pride.

"This night was supposed to be about me and Damian. Now it's going to be all about the great 18 year old son of business tycoon Bart Bass; Chuck and his socialite step-sister Serena van der Woodsen!" Blair cried hysterically. Serena rolled her eyes.

"Blair! Are we really going back to that? I honestly have no desire to _take_ any attention off the two of you. I came as moral support for Chuck; I'm all he has now that the love of his life refuses to remember him." Serena bit back and Blair recoiled.

"Are you serious? I can't believe you're going back to that!"

"Blair, I am not doing this right now. Just get over yourself and try not to ruin the night for Chuck _or_ Damian." Serena huffed; leaving the bathroom and an enraged Blair.

Shortly after Serena had returned to the table; Blair arrived, taking her seat beside Damian and right across from Chuck. He didn't look up to meet her gaze again, but she was almost positive he was staring at her through his peripheral vision – the tension at the table was incalculable.

"I'm sorry I'm late, sweetie." Blair whispered into Damian's ear. He chuckled and then kissed her on the cheek; leaving a stinging feeling even long after his lips had left her cheek. Glancing over at Chuck; he showed no signs of acknowledging her existence – leaving Blair with an unsettled feeling in the pit of her stomach which she could not understand.

Finally, the house lights were brought down to a very low dim, and spotlight was shown on the host of the evening.

"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to the 2010 National Business Awards." The host began, and the rest of the room fell silent. He proceeded to give an introduction the world of business with references to famous businessmen in the industry and previous recipients of the awards; before introducing another man onto the stage to give out the first of the awards.

"_The Health Work and Wellbeing of a Small Business_ Award goes to Bernard Cumming of Home-Cumming Services!" He began and the room erupted in applause for Bernard Cumming as he made his way up on stage to accept his award. The night continued in similar fashion; announcing the various awards and their respective recipients – each of them receiving a lengthy applaud. Finally, it was down to the last two awards of the night.

"_The Marketing Strategy of the Year_ Award is given to the business that achieves high levels of commercial success for a specific marketing campaign. The judges look for innovation and a clearly expressed and articulated objective led campaign strategy leading to measurable and verifiable business results. The judges believe that the person that is most worthy of this award is…" he paused as he opened up the envelope, "…Artemis Butler of The George&Butler Group!" Serena and Chuck looked over at Blair who was beaming widely as she applauded. Damian leaned forward to plant a passionate kiss on her lips; and then got up to congratulate his father sitting at the next table. Blair felt as if there was a wall between her and the other side of the table – preventing her from turning her head to face the agonizing look of Chuck. She watched as Mr. Butler made his way up onto the stage to accept his prize. He made a quick speech thanking his family and his team and then left the stage again quickly. It was time for the final award of the evening. It was pretty damn obvious what it was, and who it was going to. Blair hated to admit it, but she suddenly felt a pang of jealousy and bitterness towards Serena for being Chuck's date – oddly enough it had nothing to do with the fact that he was winning the best award of the night and everything to do with the fact that Blair _wasn't_ Chuck's date.

"And finally, the last award of the night!" The announcer began, "This award is given to the outstanding individual who can best demonstrate exceptional vision and leadership in the establishment and development of an owner-led business. The judges look for clear identification of a market opportunity, innovation, growth and evidence of strong financial performance in terms of sales and profit growth. The winner not only displayed all these qualities, but showed persistence and good knowledge of the industry – and he is only 18 years old. It is with great pleasure that I announce the winner of _The Entrepreneur of the Year _Award; Mr Charles Bartholomew Bass of Bass Industries!" This time there was not only applause, but a standing ovation as Chuck was announced winner of this prestigious award. Serena stood up immediately and almost toppled Chuck over as she congratulated him with a hug. The two other guests seated at table 18 congratulated Chuck; and even Damian acknowledged his accomplishment with a handshake. Chuck smiled lightly as he accepted all the praise he was getting. He looked over at Blair longingly; who was also clapping, and had a subtle smile across her face. All the awards and all the praise in the world could not fill the void in his heart where Blair used to be. What he would do to have her as his date tonight. He would trade his business all for Blair to remember her love for him so that they could spend one more night together.

"Go on Chuck!" Serena egged Chuck on, clapping him on the back. He went up onto the stage and received his award from the announcer. The room looked so much larger from this angle, and the one thousand pairs of eyes staring up at him did not help the situation. He approached the microphone stand and cleared his throat nervously before commencing the speech he forgot to make.

"Thank you everyone! It is such an honour to be nominated for this award, let alone win it." He paused as the words disappeared before him. He looked down at the silver trophy he'd just won; his name engraved on the plaque with the title _Entrepreneur of the Year 2010_ underneath. He then looked out at the audience, but all he saw was a blur – until he noticed table 18. Serena looked up at him with a dazzling smile, the two other guests smiling and nodding, Damian also seemed to be in awe of Chuck's accomplishment. And then he looked at Blair. He left Blair until last because he knew that it would be the most difficult to endure – while also being the most difficult to pull away from.

Blair sat, turned at a 90 degree angle in her seat. She was looking up at Chuck as he struggled to make his speech. The Chuck Bass she knew was never at a loss for words. He was witty and charming and would definitely be capable of captivating an audience this large with his words. Suddenly he looked towards her, and their gazes locked, again. A wave of déjà vu flew over her, again; and she suddenly had a vision. It was quite similar – a dimly lit room where Chuck was also standing up making a speech in front of everybody; it his best man's speech for his father's wedding to Lily van der Woodsen. When he looked at her in the vision, she remembered how her heart grew with warmth and adoration. It was passionate. She was beginning to understand the unsettled feeling she always had, the nausea, the supposed butterflies – did she really love Chuck? How absurd. She was with Damian now.

In that instant, Chuck was almost certain he saw understanding flash across Blair's eyes. She changed in that fleeting second; and suddenly he felt he was able to continue.

"My father was always very good at his job. He made it look easy and natural; so when he died and I was to take over, I thought I could just step in and start working from Day 1. But that was not the case. To be successful, you need persistence, resilience; you need to put the work in and expect that sometimes it may or may not pay off. But when it doesn't, you don't just give up. I am lucky to have a large support team behind me that helps me back up when I fall down." As he spoke, Blair noticed a tear run down her cheek and fall onto her hand. She looked down, shocked, and immediately wiped it away with her serviette before anyone could notice. She knew that Bart Bass had died in a car accident some time ago; only because everyone had told her, and the fact that Bart Bass was no longer here; but for the first time, it seemed, she could finally remember it. It was sketchy, but Chuck's words rung true to her – _a large support team_ – as she remembered wanting to be there for him the day of his father's funeral. She could picture the broken look on his face; as if when his father had died, a part of him had died too. It nearly broke her heart then, and it was almost breaking her heart now. She remembered the intense feelings she had for him at that time, and the obligation she felt she be his saviour. It was the day she told him she loved him.

"I was lucky to have a father who cared so much about his family, and his work; that he put his whole life into it." Chuck looked down from the crowd and at his trophy; as the tears threatened to spill over, "I promise to not let him down." He concluded, waving his trophy to the crowd victoriously. The room erupted in applause again as Chuck made his way back to his table. The announcer congratulated all the recipients and thanked the other guests for their patience, as he declared dinner was to begin. When Chuck returned to the table; he noticed Blair's seat was empty.

"That was the best speech of the night, Chuck." Serena smiled, hugging him once again. He thanked her and took his seat, pretending to look over at Damian when he was actually wondering why Blair had left. Damian also congratulated him again and Chuck nodded.

As the waiters began serving the food, the room become quite loud again, so Chuck found he was able to speak to Serena directly without anyone else overhearing.

"Where's Blair?" He whispered into her ear, and she looked at him in shock. This whole time he had been ignoring her and trying not to show that it affected him. He couldn't even bare to hear her name being spoken. Now he was asking straightforward.

"Um, she complained about having to go to the bathroom to fix her makeup or something." Serena replied nonchalantly. Chuck exhaled quietly so as not to give the impression he was concerned, "Actually, it was a bit strange – I think I'll go check on her." Serena explained as if she had read Chuck's mind. She excused herself from the table for the second time, and headed over to the bathroom – dodging waiters who were carrying around plates of food to everyone, on her way. When she opened the door to the Ladies Bathroom, she found Blair Waldorf leaning over the bathroom counter and staring at herself in the mirror; watching as black tears streamed down her rosy cheeks.

"Blair?!" Serena cried, running over to her to comfort her – forgetting all about half an hour ago, "What's going on?" Blair swallowed hard and wiped her tears away with a handkerchief; trying to cover up the fact she was crying, though it was a wasted effort.

"It's stupid." She forced a laugh and continued to fix up her makeup.

"Come on Blair, you can tell me anything."

"I-I can't; it's impossible…"

"Nothing you say can make me turn away. We're sisters…remember?" Serena egged on, staring at Blair's reflection. Blair took a deep breath to steady herself as she prepared to give Serena her revelation.

"Um…I think…I think I'm in love with Chuck."


	16. Chapter 16

"Um…I think…I think I'm in love with Chuck." Blair admitted. Serena's eyes widened in response and she wondered if perhaps she had misheard Blair.

"Eh…w-what?" She asked again, shaking her head to clear it so that when Blair repeated herself she would understand properly.

"Don't ask me to repeat it! I don't even know what's happening." Blair cried as she buried her face in her hands. Serena exhaled deeply; she still couldn't quite comprehend what Blair was saying. _Is it possible that after so many months apart she finally remembers her true feelings towards Chuck? Is it really that simple? _

"Well…I don't know what to say. Are you upset by it?" was all Serena managed to get out. Blair shrugged as she blew her runny nose.

"It's all so confusing. I am so happy with where my life is right now; but every time Chuck looks at me…" she paused to take a breath, "It's a very different feeling…"

"Blair, I don't want you to hate me for saying this…but I'm glad."

"What?" Blair asked viciously, looking up at Serena.

"Well, you're finally starting to remember things; like, the way you feel about Chuck."

"And why is that a good thing? It just makes everything else complicated! I don't need this on my shoulders, I love Damian."

"Well, now that you know for sure, you can accept it and deal with it. I know you love Damian; but I think he deserves to know. Both of them do."

"Oh yeah, because that's going to go down very well with the both of them, Serena."

"Can't you see B? You've been cheating yourself. This whole time, you've subconsciously been in love with Chuck. You never fell out of love with him because you never lost the memories – you just couldn't access them. Now you can access them; and you've got to make a choice." Serena explained to Blair, as casually as if she were discussing which TV Show to watch. Blair groaned and closed her eyes.

"I'll be there with you every step of the way." Serena reassured Blair while rubbing her shoulder affectionately. Blair looked up at Serena apologetically.

"Come on. Let's get it over and done with." Blair quickly touched up her makeup and then was escorted by Serena out of the bathroom. They made their way over the table and took their seats again; where their dinners had already been served.

"What took you so long, baby?" Damian asked when Blair was seated already.

"Lady things, Damian. I can't explain them to you." She smiled back and began to eat her dinner. Throughout the course of the meal, Serena, Chuck, Blair, Damian and the other two guests contributed to the conversation of the table. They covered the usual topics of the news, media and business; with Chuck and Damian elaborating on the business topic; and Blair conversing with the other two guests while she waited for Damian to finish with Chuck. The entire time, Blair and Chuck neither exchanged glances nor words – and the whole table could feel the tension. After a few cryptic looks from Serena, Blair excused herself and Damian so they could have a dance on the dance floor.

"You look absolutely radiant tonight. Did I mention that?" Damian asked as he put his arms around Blair's waste. She smiled at him and in response, put her arms around his neck.

"I think you may have…" And then he pulled her in closer so their bodies were practically up against each other. This was going to be a lot harder than Blair imagined. She wasn't even mentally prepared to tell Damian the news.

"Sweetie, there's something I have to tell you." She began, her pulse accelerating the minute the words left her lips. Damian noticed Blair's anxiety immediately.

"What is it?" He sounded worried already and he didn't even know yet. Blair felt her stomach sink. She took a deep breath before continuing.

"Ok, well, a few months ago…I was in an accident…" She began, thinking back to the day when she woke up in the hospital. It was so surreal because the most recent memory she had that day was being a junior back in high school. When she woke up, she felt like she'd been asleep for years.

"Oh, my God. What kind of accident?" Damian asked, stopping on the spot. His eyes were wide with fear and disbelief.

"A car accident. I was in hospital for a few weeks." She continued to speak, as Damian continued to stare at her in disbelief, "I suffered a bit of memory loss for a while..." They stood still in the middle of dance floor, amidst all the other dancing couples.

"Why are you telling me this now?"

"Because I've started to remember things..." she paused, finding herself unable to continue. How on earth was she going to let Damian know that she and Chuck had history without driving Damian away? She could tell from the look in his eyes that he wasn't taking this news so lightly; there was absolutely no way she could tell him right then and there, "uh…and I'm probably going to be spending a lot of time with old friends…you know? To jog my memory…" She added quickly in recovery. Damian pulled Blair in for an embrace and then kissed her on the head.

"That must have been terrible for you to go through. I am so sorry." He spoke. Blair couldn't bring herself to look up at him, so she just rested her head against his chest and they swayed gently from side to side on the dance floor.

*

The dancing couples retreated back to their dining tables for dessert – where yet again, small talk was exercised around table 18, and Blair and Chuck did not once exchange glances. At this point; the tension would have been extremely obvious to all. The third couple excused themselves as they left the ceremony for the night; leaving the large table to the four of them. Serena glanced over at Blair who was still eating her dessert; and then at Chuck who was finding anything that could distract him from Blair who was sitting right in front of him. She was suddenly struck with idea; though it was a very spontaneous one and she could see both Blair and Chuck giving her a hard time about it later on – she decided to invite Damian out onto the dance floor with her.

"Come on, Damian; I haven't danced with you yet!" She cried, and immediately as the words left her mouth; Blair glared up at her. She raised her eyebrows apologetically, as Damian accepted her offer and led her to the floor. Then it was just Chuck and Blair. The tension grew even more as the realization they were left alone on purpose sunk in. Blair pretended to be occupied by the chocolate mousse she was taking a ridiculously long time to consume; while Chuck pulled out his phone and pretended to check missed calls and messages. How desperately he wanted to say something to her – anything to break the tension – he could ask about her life with Damian? Or her mother and Cyrus? Or how NYU was going for her? But it seemed like that first question was the most difficult to get out.

Blair strategically took very small bites of her mousse in order to preserve it and prevent a conversation from starting up. Her past may be sketchy, but she essentially could not recall a time when she ever felt more awkward in Chuck's presence. She knew very well that she was at the centre of his thoughts, and likewise, she knew that he knew that he was at the centre of hers. What could she possibly say to erase this tension without the situation becoming even more awkward? They both knew it had to be done soon, otherwise it would become unbearable.

"Ok Chuck, this is mad. Are you never going to speak or look at me again?" It felt so much better to have it out of her system. Chuck was very grateful that at least she had the courage to break the silence; but then he felt a pang of remorse for his lack of courage. He took his time as he looked up at her with his plain and unreadable facial expression.

"Why would you think I'd never speak or look at you again?" He asked slyly; amazed by how calmly he was able to reply and how well he was able to keep his composure. Maybe it wouldn't be so hard, then? He was _Chuck Bass_ after all. The corner of his lip pulled up a tiny bit, hinting he was trying to hide a smile – and this reminded Blair very much of the old Chuck. She was relieved he hadn't seemed to change much.

"You've avoided communicating with me all night." She replied.

"I haven't had anything to say to you." His response may have been true, but it stung and Blair felt herself mentally recoil as if she'd been slapped. That was not something she was expecting.

"You could ask me how I am." She posed. Frankly, he wasn't very keen on hearing about how perfect her life was with Chuck Bass 2.0, "No need; your boy-toy has already filled me in," he replied; though he didn't mean for it to come out as harshly as it did. Blair looked down at her plate, slightly taken aback by his comment. Chuck Bass wasn't usually one to hold a grudge – but then again, no one had ever broken his heart like Blair had before.

"I'm sorry. That was uncalled for." He apologised and Blair immediately looked back up at him. Chuck Bass _apologising?_ This was surreal. This new tortured and depressed Chuck was not who she was used to. Oh, how she longed for the days when they were mere 16 year olds – the days when the thought of Chuck Bass ever falling in love with someone were laughable. Those days were easy.

Chuck's phone vibrated on the table as he received a message. Blair found the perfect opportunity to make things normal again.

"What, is that one of your call girls?" She asked, flashing him a menacing smile. For a second he was reminded of the old Blair – the best friend's girlfriend who was always off limits – only without the best friend bit this time. The side of his mouth habitually pulled up at the end into a half smile.

"Good to have you back, Bass."

"It's good to be back, Waldorf."


	17. Chapter 17

_**Hey guys, I have started a new story which will hopefully become a spin-off of this one. I'm open to suggestions for titles - it's going to be centered around Serena/Nate/Carter. Not too sure if I'll add Dan, but meh...who knows. If you have any suggestions please don't hesitate to share them! **_

_**Oh, and enjoy Chapter 17 :)**_

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When Nate woke up that morning; he felt as if he'd never left home. Chuck's suite at the Palace Hotel had been left untouched since they left it half a year ago. It held a lot of fond memories of their lives as teens when Nate found himself constantly staying the night because he was too drunk to come home – or had just gotten into another fight with his parents and wasn't in the mood to see them. The couch which he had adopted as his bed; because it was just as, if not more comfortably than another other bed he'd ever slept on – was very welcoming when he decided to drift off to sleep last night.

He didn't remember Chuck coming home last night – if he even came back at all. Had Nate known coming back to New York would be such a hardship for Chuck; Nate would have never mentioned returning. Before he began worrying about whether Chuck was still in Manhattan; he decided to shower and get dressed. However, as he entered the master bathroom, he was slightly taken aback by Latin bombshell who was already occupying it – while wearing nothing but her bra and knickers as she brushed her teeth.

"Oh, um…hi…" Nate began looking her up and down with a confused expression splayed across his face. She made eye contact with his reflection in the mirror and then continued to brush her teeth.

"OK, uh, who are you?" He asked when he didn't get a response.

"Gabriella. I work for Mr Bass." She said as she rinsed her mouth out. Nate opened up his mouth into a comprehensive 'O' shape to indicate he understood completely. Gabriella wiped her mouth once on the hand towel and then exited the bathroom to get dressed back into her business uniform and head to work. Nate sighed and then entered Chuck's room; where he found him sleeping soundly with his doona rumpled up into a heap at the end of his bed.

"Rough night, huh?" Nate asked loud enough to wake Chuck up. Chuck murmured something unintelligible in his sleep and then rolled over; shielding his eyes from the bright morning sun.

"It's 11.30; get up man." Nate tried again, kicking random items of clothing strewn across the floor under the bed.

"Just like old times…" Chuck whispered as he struggled to get up from the comfort of his bed.

"Yeah, I was just going to say. Gabriella? I didn't know you hired new staff." Nate chuckled, taking a seat on the end of Chuck's bed. Chuck stifled a laugh and then pulled himself into a sitting position; rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, "How was the Ceremony?" Nate asked. Chuck breathed out loudly through his nostrils – that was one event he wished he could erase from his memory; but no amount of alcohol or sex with random girls could ease the pain of watching Blair and her new hot-shot act all lovey-dovey in his face. What made matters worse, was the last thing she told him was "_Good to have you back, Bass,"_ and while she probably just meant it was nice to have Chuck back in New York; he couldn't help but feel that she actually meant 'the **old** Chuck Bass' – the playboy one, who was secretly in love with his best friend's boyfriend but never really knew it; the one who Blair Waldorf was always off limits to.

"I saw Blair…." He began and Nate looked at him full of surprise, "and her new boyfriend." He concluded, defeated. As hard as he tried, he couldn't hide the pain that could be heard in his voice. Nate was quick to pick up on it.

"I'm sorry, Chuck. I shouldn't have pushed you into going."

"It's alright. I don't care. Besides, how were you supposed to know she would be there?" Chuck attempted a smile to convey his indifference towards the subject, "Like I said; it's just like old times." He headed towards his dresser and began to pull out an outfit to get changed into. How about purple? He hadn't worn that in a while…

*

By the time Blair had woken up that morning; Damian was already at work. Whenever he had to leave early, he'd always leave Blair a love note on her bedside table which usually read: _Blairbear, I love you more than life itself. I hope you have a great day, and see you tonight. Love Dame – _or something similar to that. Today, it was slightly different as it read: _My dearest Blair; it kills me that I have to leave you and tell you this through a note rather than to your face. Father and I are headed out of the country for a few days for business. I wish there was another way – I hate spending time away from you. I'll be back in four days. I love you so much. Damian xoxo_. She kissed the note and placed it back on her bedside table. Strangely, this time she didn't feel heartache when she read the letter – rather she felt free – and that scared her very much. She felt free because she could finally read the rest of that scrapbook Serena had left her without Damian hovering over her shoulder and asking her questions about the past she was only just starting to remember – also, she was free to recall the intense feelings she has for Chuck without having to fight the burning feeling of guilt for not telling Damian about him.

Blair knelt down beside her bed and pulled out the scrapbook she had stowed away half a year ago. It had gathered a heap of dust since the last time she opened it, and she felt another pang of guilt for not looking at it more often. Serena had put a lot of effort into making the scrapbook, and Blair had completely disregarded it until now.

She flipped open the scrapbook to the last page she had looked at – her 17th birthday. She remembered how she wondered where Nate was in all the photos – before she figured Nate had not even turned up to her birthday. Instead of Nate, there was Chuck. She turned the pages and glanced at the photographs of the memories which she could now almost fully recall. There was a sense of familiarity, a sense of déjà vu, as she surveyed the photos; and by the time she had reached the end of the scrapbook she was almost positive her feelings for Chuck were completely and utterly real. The last photo taken of her and Chuck had its own page dedicated to it. She was in a custom made _Valentino_ and she was very conspicuously showing off her enormous Tiffany ring. Underneath the photograph it said: _Your Engagement Party 30/08._ She'd always thought this memory was but a mere dream; she looked stunning and Chuck looked better than she had ever remembered him. They looked so happy together, Blair could see the glint in both their eyes. Yes, she'd always thought this was a dream – but the photograph only proved it was all reality; well it used to be reality. It made her very sad to come to this realisation; so she closed the scrapbook and held it tight against her chest. She sat there, crossed-legged on the floor, in silence for what felt like eternity before Dorota entered with her breakfast on a tray.

"Good morning, Miss Blair. Miss Serena is coming up in the elevator right now." Dorota explained, placing the tray on Blair's desk while she made Blair's bed. Blair thanked Dorota and placed her scrapbook in her bedside table drawer. As Dorota left the room; Serena entered – and instead of a proper greeting, Blair was exposed to the wrath of Serena.

"Blair, you told me you were going to tell them!" Serena cried.

"I did!"

"Then why did Chuck go straight to a bar after last night and why did Damian go home with you, acting as if he knew nothing?"

"Because…I didn't tell him about Chuck."

Serena sighed impatiently, "Blair! I'm sorry; I'm trying to be a good friend to you, and a good sister to Chuck. When are you going to tell Chuck?"

"I can't just tell him after months of not seeing or speaking to him! I have to mentally prepare myself – there's also the whole Damian situation I have to straighten out. I can't just break up a 4 month relationship because I _remember_ being in love with someone else!"

"B, I'm s-…"

"And how dare you come over here and yell at me? If you want to be a good friend to me, then you can kindly let yourself out."

"B, I don't want to fight."

"We're not fighting."

"Well, I'm sorry I snapped. I am just so fed up with _waiting_ for everything to happen. Waiting for you to remember; waiting for Chuck to come back; waiting for my Dad to reply; waiting for Carter…" Serena paused; causing Blair to snap out of her imaginations and pay her attention to Serena.

"What?" Blair asked, as Serena sat down on Blair's bed. Blair joined her and put her arm around her, "What do you mean, your Dad to reply?"

"When you bailed me out of that Gros Islet Quarter Prison in Saint Lucia, I posted a letter to my father. I told him I was sorry for ambushing him and acting the way I did; and that all I wanted to do was get to know him. I sent him copies of photographs of when we were all a family and I also sent him my birth certificate; which Carter helped me obtain. My mom tried to get it destroyed but they wouldn't allow her. Anyways; at the same time, I left a letter with the Police Department for Carter, so that they'd give it to him when he was bailed out. I told him about my true feelings towards him and that I would try to get him out as soon as I could. He called me a week later telling me he had been bailed out by a friend and that he got my letter – and he told me he was going to come back to New York for me. Well, it's been 4 months of waiting…" Serena explained.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Blair asked. Serena looked at her with tear-filled eyes.

"I just…I didn't think you would want to know…"

"Of course I want to know! Serena, I burden you with all my problems. It's only fair you burden me with yours." Blair smiled, caressing Serena's face affectionately. Serena forced a smile and nodded.

"Ok; no crying! I actually had a purpose to coming over here today!" Serena cried, changing the topic completely.

"And what was that?" Blair asked, cocking her head to the side.

"We're going to plan a housewarming party – for Chuck and Nate."


	18. Chapter 18

_**Sorry if there are heaps of errors - I did a very quick and rough proof-reading of this chapter as I have to leave soon and I just wanted to get this up as quick as possible. :)**_

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That Sunday night a housewarming party was being held at the van der Woodsen's apartment.

"Great Nate; so we'll see you and Chuck tonight at dinner? Yes? Fantastic. Goodbye." Lily spoke and then hung up the phone.

"So…they're coming?" Serena asked excitedly.

"Yes they are. They don't suspect a thing." Lily replied with a reassuring smile.

"That's great!" Serena beamed as she hugged Blair. The Non-Judging Breakfast Club would be reunited once more. The caterers had arrived and had started to prepare the meals; while the decorators had already rearranged the furniture in the lounge room so that it could accompany a large crowd. The whole setting felt eerily familiar to Blair as she was suddenly reminded of her Engagement Party to Chuck all those months ago. The day that it all changed – was this her chance to fix up her mistake? Was she given this opportunity again so she could redo that night; and do it properly this time?

"Serena," Blair cried, grabbing Serena's arm before she walked into the elevator to help the caterers with the bringing up of supplies. She stopped in her tracks and looked back, "This is it…this is my time to fix things." Blair explained as she had her epiphany.

"What?" Serena asked in a confused tone.

"You know how I royally screwed up my Engagement Party to Chuck? Well, this is my night to redo things properly." Blair smiled; and she could almost hear the click in Serena's head as she also realised this.

"Oh, my God. Of course! But…what are you going to do?" Serena asked; which stumped Blair. How was Blair going to play this out without causing further damage to her and Chuck's fragile relationship?

"I'm going to invite him over to my house." She blurted out before she even had the chance to think her words through.

"Alone? Are you ready for that? Is _he_ ready for that?"

"M-maybe…I don't know. But I do know that if I don't do this tonight, I will be sorry." Blair explained and then kissed Serena goodbye on the cheek before taking her elevator down to the lobby.

*

When Blair arrived home; she mechanically whipped out her phone and began to type the message, '_Hey Bass. Pre-drinks at my penthouse before dinner. B.' _Was she supposed to leave 'xoxo' at the end – or was that taking it too far? What if she just typed one 'xo' – that's friendly and very typical of a girl to sign off with. She debated the matter over in her mind – listing the pros and cons of each until she finally decided on signing off with only one 'xo'. However, when it came to hitting send, she felt her heart rate immediately accelerate. Would he actually reply – let alone come? How would he take the news? Before she talked herself out of going through with it, she hit send. It was too late now if she was going to decide to pull out. She had to go through with this.

"Dorota; could you bring up some candles?" She cried out to her hand-maiden. No more than a minute later, Dorota was in Blair's room armed with a box of candles and a hand-full of matches.

"If you could just set them up in the corners and light them up. I'm expecting a guest tonight."

"But Blair, Mister Damian on business trip. He not tell you?"

"Of course he did…" Blair paused as Dorota's statement seemed to remind her of the man she was currently in a relationship with. Was she honestly going to go through with this while she was still with Damian? If her feelings for Damian were anything to go by, they did not even compare to the way she felt about Chuck. She used that fact to justify her actions tonight.

"I know. But my guest is Chuck." She explained and Dorota nodded in acknowledgement. There was an unspoken rule that seemed to exist for Blair and Chuck – that wherever they may be, whomever they may be with at the time – if they were together, their actions were vindicated. She brushed her fingers through her hair to leave her hair looking natural and wavy as it tumbled down past her shoulders; and began strip down to her lingerie which she had reserved especially for her one year anniversary with Damian.

*

"Are we going, or what?" Nate asked as he straightened his collar and blazer while checking himself out in Chuck's mirror. He couldn't even remember the last time he spoke to Serena. For some reason, realising this only increased the number of butterflies in his stomach. He was oddly excited, yet at the same time terrified of what dinner had in stall for both him and Chuck.

"Hold on." Chuck replied as he took out his phone. _Text message from Blair_; it read. His eyes widened in surprise. Could this be true? How long had it been since the last message Blair had sent him? He almost forgot the excitement he felt every time he received a message from Blair. Could this feeling of anxiety be classified as excitement?

"Come on, Lily said 7.30!"

"I need to go somewhere…first…you take the limo and I'll catch up with you later." Chuck explained, while Nate just stared at him with his mouth agape.

"You're not bailing out because you think Blair will be there, are you?" Nate asked, to which Chuck sniggered.

"Not quite, Nathaniel. Go on, I have to meet someone. Unfinished business." Chuck finalised as he dismissed Nate.

What on earth did _Waldorf_ want with him? And why would should only send him the message, not Nate as well? Perhaps she needed someone to be hazed? Or manipulated? Or plotted against? It's what they were best at after all and if Blair's words the other night were anything to go by, she was definitely willing to go back to how they used to be around each other – partners in crime; scheming buddies. He had to admit that those days held some of his fondest memories; but wouldn't this just be awkward with Damian in the picture? Whatever she had in mind; he didn't want to keep her waiting so once Nate had taken the first elevator down to the lobby; Chuck left his apartment.

*

At 7.30 pm sharp, the elevator rang signalling the arrival of the guests.

"Ok, everyone! They're here!" Lily shushed everyone and the room immediately fell into a deafening silence. Nate emerged out of the elevator to which the crowd yelled, 'Surprise!'. He stumbled in response to the surprise and just stared around the brightly decorated room which he could hardly recognise behind all the people.

"Where's Charles?" Lily asked in shock.

"He's on his way. He just had to run some errands." Nate reassured and Lily just sighed out in relief.

"Well welcome back, Nate. It's good to have to here." Lily kissed him on both cheeks and then left him to mingle with the other guests.

He dropped off his coat in the closet and grabbed a glass of champagne off a passing waiter before greeting all the other guests in the room. From old friends from St. Jude's to current friends on the social ladder and even friends of Anne Archibald and William Vanderbilt, he greeted everyone. Once Nate had gone through practically everyone within his range, he still had a nagging feeling of disappointment. He still hadn't greeted the one person he'd been looking forward to seeing most.

"Hey Nate." The once voice who could silence his feeling of disappointment called out to him. The voice was immediately recognised as Serena's. He turned around slowly and saw the stunning blonde wearing a dazzling smile which nearly made him melt right there on the spot. He was so taken aback by her smile that he didn't even notice the revealing dress she was wearing.

"Serena!" Nate exhaled as the feeling that he could finally breathe again settled in. He pulled her in and hugged her tiny frame – the scent of her designer perfume lingering in his nostrils. They stood there, hugging, for a while before Serena began to pull away.

"I've missed you." Nate confessed, to which Serena smiled again.

"I missed you too Nate. Come on; let's go some where quiet where you can tell me all about your life in California." Serena said, taking his hand and leading him down the corridor and into her room.

*

The only light in the room was coming from the candles lit up in all four corners. Chuck had an eerie feeling as he entered Blair's room. It was not set up for just a friendly chat or pre-drinks as Blair's message had suggested. He stood before her bed, which he had spent a lot of his time in a while ago; but now looking at it, he felt like a foreigner entering unknown territory.

"Thanks for coming." She finally spoke, bringing his attention to her as she stood against the doorframe of her bathroom door. She was wearing a silk, white dressing gown and looked like she was ready to go to bed; but her hair appeared to have been styled and he could smell the scent of her perfume all the way from where he was standing.

"What did you want, Blair?" He asked, confused. Blair approached him slowly; and he traced his eyes over her figure as she did. Ever inch was perfection. She stood before him, inches away from his face. His senses suddenly become very alert and a wave of déjà vu washed over him as all the memories rushed back to him – the way she felt underneath him, the taste of her skin, and the taste of her mouth, the pleasurable noises she made – if her intention was to destroy his already fragile heart, then it was definitely working.

"I have something to tell you," She began, as he stared deeply into her eyes. She placed her hands on either side of his face, "Three words…eight letters…" She continued and he closed his eyes. He'd only dreamt of this night every night since the day she dumped him. He would wake up just before she would say '_I love you'_, despite the number of times the dream occurred. Somehow, this didn't feel any different from one of those dreams.

"Blair," He spoke, blowing the sweet scent of his breath in her face. She paused, "What are you doing?" He asked, but hated himself as soon as the words left his lips. Why was he ruining this? It's what he's wanted all this time, isn't it?

"Last October, the doctor told me it would take a while for me to recover my memories. But, he said that in time I will get most of them back – and that they can come back to me in various ways, mostly during sleep. Well, I've been having a lot of dreams lately – and I've been getting quite a bit of déjà vu as well. I remember you, Chuck. I remember you proposing at Tiffany's and I remember the fight about Nate. I remember telling you I loved you the day of your father's funeral." She explained. It was everything Chuck wanted to hear, but for some reason he couldn't bring himself to believe her.

"Please say something." She spoke as the deafening silence was becoming unbearable. He exhaled through his nose and then brought himself to look her in the eyes.


	19. Chapter 19

Everything he had been hoping for, praying for, was finally happening. Why did it feel so surreal?

"I'm sorry…I just…I can't…" He struggled to express his feelings. His insides were screaming at him to shut up. He could think of no logical reason for the way his body was responding other than what was happening did not feel right.

"I also remember you telling me you'd wait a year for me; that you'd always be there for me to help me remember." Blair added; her hands still firmly placed on his face. Yes, he did tell her that – so much for keeping his promise. He made a deal with himself – that if he wanted to keep his self-respect and honour, he would not do anything with Blair tonight because it was far from what he deserved.

"Where's Damian?" Chuck forced himself to ask. He could be in the next room, bound to come in any second, for all Chuck knew. This seemed to bring Blair discomfort, as she released her grasp on Chuck's face and pulled away.

"He's on a business trip," She replied, not meeting Chuck's gaze.

"Damian's your boyfriend now. Just because you remember things doesn't change that." Chuck explained, fighting every urge in his body that was compelling him to shut his mouth and walk over to Blair and kiss her.

"It changes the way I feel about him…the way I feel about you." She argued back. Chuck closed his eyes – no matter how much it felt like a melodramatic soap opera, it was his life. Everything was real, and it was happening right now, "I _love_ you, Chuck." She added, taking another step closer to him. Her presence was overwhelming – he could figuratively look into her eyes in a second and take her into her arms because she was practically giving herself to him at that moment – but at the same time, he had that nagging guilt feeling in the pit of his stomach which was stopping him from performing that simple action. He opened up his eyes again, so he could look right into Blair's, into the depths of her soul. They were as big and luscious as ever. Beautiful, creamy chocolate brown. Her glossy lips were ready for the taking; all he had to do was lean down ever so slightly and plant his lips on hers. It seemed so easy, yet he could not bring himself to do it.

"I _loved_ you, Blair." He replied, and then gently stripped her hands away from around his neck. She closed her eyes to prevent the tears from spilling over; her lower lips trembling. The last time she felt this way was when Chuck had told her practically the same thing at Nate Archibald's Graduation Party a year ago. He turned away from her and began to exit; leaving her standing there, humiliated and rejected, much like the last time.

*

Serena sat crossed legged on the edge of her bed; leaning back so she could take in the full body of Nate Archibald and admire it properly.

"What are you staring at?" He chuckled, once he turned back around and faced her.

"Nothing," she smiled back, "I'm just waiting for you to finish your story." She egged on. Nate sighed and then took a seat beside Serena.

"I told you most of it already. Newport Beach is great. I love the people, I love the atmosphere, I love the area." He explained. Serena just raised an eyebrow sardonically – causing Nate to chuckle, before he cleared his throat and became all serious, "But; New York has one thing Newport doesn't..." He explained and then looked away from Serena's captivating gaze as he uttered the last few words. Nate couldn't bring himself to look at her in this intense moment. Serena felt her heart accelerate and her skin burn up. _This was it_. She thought to herself, as she swallowed hard and then prepared herself for Nate's answer to her question.

"Oh yeah, what's that?" She asked casually; unmoving from her leaning position. She hoped that her currently racing mind was hidden well underneath her cool composure. Nate took a deep breath as he forced himself to look into her eyes and answer her, "You." Somehow, when Serena heard this, her reaction wasn't the one she was anticipating. For months she carried a void in her heart which she thought only Carter could fill. It was, after all, Carter who had gone to Saint Lucia with Serena; it was Carter who assisted her on her quest to find her father, without which she would have never gone as far as she did. And it was Carter whom she had spent a whole day and a whole night making love to on the yacht to the island. But when Nate placed his hand ever so tenderly on her neck; caressing it with love and devotion; it was suddenly made clear that it wasn't Carter's void after all, it was Nate's.

"Nate, I love you." Serena blurted out without giving it a second thought. Nate smiled in response and began to pull Serena in closer, "That's all I've ever wanted to hear," he gently pulled her lips towards his; feeling her soft, strawberry scented lips move in sync with his, "oh, and I love you too." He smiled again, breaking away for a split second, just to make sure she heard it before they consummated their love.

"Ok, so what you're trying to tell me is that over the course of a weekend, you fell out of love with me, and back in love with your ex-boyfriend?"


	20. Chapter 20

_**Told you I'd be quicker this time! Anyways, I did this one quite roughly so I apologise for any errors**_

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"Ok, so what you're trying to tell me is that over the course of a few days, you fell out of love with me, and back in love with your ex-boyfriend?" Damien asked for clarification. Blair told him the whole story starting from the day of her accident all those months ago, up until the moment he caught her looking at old photos of her and Chuck together. She felt so horrible; she couldn't even look him in the eyes as she nodded to confirm his belief. The distance between them felt like the thousands of kilometres when Damien was out of the country; as opposed to the few centimetres that separated them.

The last four days she had spent secluded in her bedroom; talking to no one and ignoring any and every phone call – resulting in an extensive list of missed calls from Damien – and simply wallowed in self-pity. Looking at Damien now; he was like a stranger. She'd spent so much time over the past few days revisiting her past life that she felt she was back there. There wasn't a Damien in her past life, but there was a Chuck. Throughout her free time she had been subconsciously comparing the two of them, and she came to the conclusion that she did not know Damien half as well as Chuck, nor did she have half the amount of love for Damien as she ever had for Chuck.

"I don't know what to say other than I am so sorry." Was all she could muster. Damien stared into oblivion; deep in thought. He was still trying to wrap his head around the fact that Blair had once been _engaged_ to Chuck Bass. They did seem like the perfect match now that he thought about it – but that didn't make it hurt any less.

"How could you do this to me?" He asked; and Blair looked at him in confusion,

"I...don't know...it's just how I feel!"

"I had _so_ much planned for us! I even bought you an engagement ring while we were overseas because I was planning on _proposing_ to you for crying out loud!" Damien fumed. Words kept bubbling to his mouth but he managed to restrain himself from yelling too loudly.

"Damien, we've only been going out for four months! I couldn't have said yes."

"Don't...even...start...Blair. I have done so much for you – it's almost as if we're already married. And you are as good as cheating whore for doing this to me!"

"I did nothing!" Blair cried back; her anger getting the better of her and compelling her to slap Damien across the face. It was so forceful it left a red hand print on his left cheek, "Don't you ever call me a whore." Damien placed his hand on his cheek in a lame attempt to try and reduce the pain; but it didn't work. Her anger was reflected in his eyes; as he turned his malicious gaze towards her. It was enough to give her nightmares for the rest of the week. She stepped back in shock and nearly stumbled back onto her bed. Damien inched closer to her; his hand raised and ready to repay her slap.

"No, Damien!" She cried, raising her own hands up to protect her. Damien just grabbed her stick-thin arms in his large, masculine hands and pushed her onto her bed; pinning her arms down around her head. He then moved on top of her. Blair's heart was beating in her ears and her throat; rendering her unable to scream. She stared at him in sheer horror as he proceeded to pull her legs apart in the most brutal and forceful way he could – all the while, keeping her locked down and unable to escape his grasp.

"Take it all like a good girl." He whispered into her ear; as he entered her, pushing his filth, his anger and his hatred into his vigorous thrusts. His breath left a stinging sensation in her ear. She lay there; unable to feel her body from the neck down; all the while convincing herself this was just a terrible nightmare from which she will awake from at any moment.

It ended as quickly as it had begun. When Damien finally released Blair from his grip; instead of screaming for help or running to the phone to call the police; she remained in her bed. Damien murmured something about sending over someone to remove the rest of his belongings from her room for him; and then he left for good. Blair didn't know how long she stayed in her bed for; it could have been an hour, or it could have been a week. She felt empty, like her insides had been ripped out and she had been left a lifeless corpse. However, she didn't feel any hatred towards Damien for doing this to her – rather, she hated herself for what she put people through; dumping Chuck last year because she simply _didn't remember_ her love for him, and dumping Damien just recently because she finally _remembered_. If anything, she deserved this. The passage of time didn't concern her too much – she had more pressing matters on her mind, like the constant disturbance she felt in the pit of her stomach. It was happening again, and she was just as powerless to stop as she was last time. She forced herself out of bed; her legs and thighs aching with every move. When she got to her bathroom, she headed straight for the toilet. Habitually, she kneeled down before it; gathering her hair to one shoulder so it wouldn't get in the way; and then she pushed her finger down her throat. Once she'd done it, she felt the same relief she used to feel before. Only, the relief was short lived; and almost immediately after the relief came the self-pity, and the unstoppable tears. She had no one anymore. She deserved no one because all she did was ruin people's lives. As per usual, she stood up to look at herself in the mirror. Large, purple bruises were beginning to form in the places where Damien had gripped her. They were throbbing in pain, but they bother her too much. Blair turned sideways and pulled her shirt up; placing a hand over her stomach. She still felt bloated and ugly; so she kneeled back down beside the toilet and repeated the process a few more times. The incessant banging on the door from Dorota began to phase out after a while as Blair fell further into unconsciousness.

*

"Oh, come on! Can I please have one lick at least? Just to try?" Serena pleaded with her new boyfriend as he shielded his cookies and cream ice cream from her.

"No, I asked if you wanted one and you said you didn't! I _did_ want one, so now I'm going to have it. All to myself." Nate replied as Serena pulled her the corners of her lips downwards into a sad face. Nate chuckled at her response.

They strolled through Central Park holding hands; enjoying the warm weather and the company – neither of them having felt this happy in years. It was a crisp, Spring morning; Serena's favourite time of year after Summer. Everyone seemed to be on the same wavelength, even the birds, as they expressed their happiness through song. The joy seemed to be spread out evenly across every habitant of the city on this glorious day.

"Aw, check out those baby ducklings! Aren't they just the cutest?" Serena cooed pointing towards the pond. Nate looked over, and Serena stole a lick of his ice cream while he remained distracted for a second.

"Dammit. I can't believe I fell for that!" Nate cried in defeat, while Serena just beamed happily.

"Yum, maybe we should go back and get me one?" She asked, flashing a dazzling smile as she licked her finger.

"Or you can just have mine, if you want?" He proposed.

"Really?"

"Sure" Nate replied; and then pushed the ice cream into her face; getting all over her chin, cheeks and nose.

"I hate you!" She laughed, attempting to wipe the cookies and cream ice cream off her face with her fingers – and then revolting at the sticky, dirty feeling that remained on her fingers. Nate just laughed at her poor attempts.

"You missed a spot." Nate added.

"Where?"

"Right here." He replied and then kissed her full on the lips. Serena drew her lips back only to ask, "Is it gone?" and when he replied, "Yes" she continued to kiss him and enjoy their blissful oblivion to the world around them. The familiar sound of her ringtone brought them back to earth.

"Who is it?" Nate exasperated; silently hating the person who ruined this perfect moment.

"It's Blair…" Serena replied, checking the caller ID. She excused herself from Nate and then answered the phone.

"What's up, B?"

"Miss Serena. It is Dorota. I need your help." Dorota huffed in her heavy Polish accent.

"Dorota, calm down! What's going on?" Serena replied; as she anticipated the horrifying feeling of your heart sinking when you hear bad news.

"Miss Blair has locked herself in bathroom, with water running." Dorota explained. The feeling of a rock falling to the pit of her stomach overwhelmed Serena, as she had expected no less. She assured Dorota that she would be over in just a few moments and then hung up before turning to Nate.

"I have to go; Blair needs me." Serena began as Nate looked at her apologetically. He knew how close the two of them were, and he didn't feel any inclination to come between their friendship again – so with a parting kiss, he left Serena at the taxi rink while he made his own way home.

When Serena got to Blair's penthouse; Dorota was in a state of panic and at a loss of what the right thing to do was. Eleanor Waldorf was the master of these situations, having been by Blair's side throughout all her other relapses – but this was not here, and Serena needed to fill in the role.

"Miss Serena! Thank goodness! Miss Blair will not respond to my knocking!" She cried in a fit of hysterics. Serena tried her best to calm the housemaid and then proceeded to head upstairs to Blair's bedroom. Just as she was expecting; the door to her bathroom was locked and the water was running in the shower to drown out the noise of Blair's purging.

"B! Please open up!" Serena cried, banging violently against the door. There was no response. Serena huffed in exasperation and continued to knock to no avail. Dorota looked on with a worrisome look upon her face. Serena mirrored Dorota's feelings in her own expression as she desperately tried to think of something to do.

"Dorota, I'll be back in a minute. I'm just going to make a quick call." Serena explained, to which Dorota just nodded maniacally. Serena whipped up her phone and dialed the number to Chuck's suite at The Palace Hotel. He picked up just after two rings.

"Who is it?" He already sounded half drunk; but Serena was in no mood to deal with that. Instead, she struggled to find a way to explain to Chuck that Blair had relapsed.

"Chuck, it's me. Look, there's a problem." She began, only realizing now how much her voice was shaking.

"What's going on?" He knew that whenever Serena said those words that it was always quite serious; and this alarmed him. It was definitely Blair. Serena swallowed hard as the tears threatened to spill over.

"She's d-done it again…" she replied, "can you just get over here as quickly as you can?" She pleaded. Chuck didn't even give it a second thought. It's as though the adrenalin released into his body after hearing those words soaked up all the alcohol in his system; and made his answer to Serena's question quite clear – he would be there in just few moments, he told her. With that; Chuck dismissed his guests and grabbed his coat, headed downstairs to catch the first limo to the Waldorf penthouse.


End file.
